[ mouse squeaks ]
[ penguins chirp ]
[ all cheering ]
[ screeches ]
♪ Adventure Time
♪ Come on, grab your friends
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the dog and Finn the human ♪
♪ The fun will never end
♪ It's adventure time
Hmm.
Yo, man, what's going on?
Oh, I found this crystal on our doorstep.
It's pretty mysterious.
I'm trying to find information about it
using the holo-book.
Uh, that's cool.
But you know what's really cool?
Tough guy contests.
Whoo-hoo!
♪ Tough boys!
Wait, man.
Doesn't this look like Tree Trunks' lipstick?
That's impossible.
Tree Trunks exploded in the scary dark forest
after she ate that crystal gem apple.
Remember? - Yeah, I remember.
Come on, man. Tough-guy-contest me.
You got what it takes to rip it?
Uh...yeah.
Then let's get it on.
[ straining ]
Hyah! Yeah-yo!
Hyah!
Do it, man. Do it.
Raaa!
[ grunting ]
Oh!
[ shrieks ]
[ distorted ] No!
[ both straining ]
Gotcha, dude.
I'm gonna break out.
No way.
Ha ha!
I'm breaking out with my fat.
I win, Finn.
Finn?
[ groans ]
Finn! Finn, are you okay?
[ coughs ]
I was just messing with you, dude.
I...was just messing with...
you.
[ groans ]
Are you okay?
Yeah.
[ inhales sharply ]
I'm just gonna rest my muscles.
Oh, dang it, Jake.
You can't get all out of control like that.
[ echoing ] Why am I like this...
like this...
like this?
[ sobbing ]
Jake, what did you do to your brother?
We were just playing, and then I got out of control.
I'm sorry, dad.
No, son, you did good.
Having no self-control makes you a tough galoot, like me.
But I don't want to hurt nobody.
Well, that's too bad, kid,
'cause you're gonna hurt everybody.
Noooo!
Whatev, daddy.
Hmph! Hmph! Hmph!
I'm never gonna hurt anybody ever -- starting now.
[ rooster crows ]
[ slurps ]
[ yawns ]
What's up, dude?
Finn, you're okay.
I was scared that I mashed your potatoes
too hard last night.
Ha! You didn't mash my potatoes.
You didn't even make me cry silently
into my pillow last night for...
30 minutes.
In fact, you ready to go again, tough stuff?
No. No more, dude. - What?
I never want to lose control again, man.
I'm going totally soft.
- You look like a wuss. - Mm-hmm.
[ laughs ] [ whirring ]
Hey, the crystal's glowing a different color.
Hmm.
Jake!
Whoa.
What's it --
Chip, chap, chop! What's going on?
Uh, which one of you is Finn the human?
Depends on who's asking.
Are y'all good or evil?
Uh...we're good.
Oh. I'm Finn.
- Get him! - Aah!
Hey, you guys, put my bro down.
Jake!
Finn!
Ugh! - Hey.
Hey, man, what happened?
I don't know, but I'm trapped in this crystal ball.
Get me out of here.
Okay, I'll try to do it using controlled conversation.
Halt.
Hey, man, I'm Jake.
Beat it.
I want to know why you took my buddy,
and I'm not gonna use force to get it out of you.
I'm just following orders, bub.
Whose orders?
Um...well, it's a secret,
but part of it is we're turning Finn
into a crystal.
Jake, you should stop these guys now.
Aaaaah!
Oh, man.
Get me out of here!
No. You don't look awesome and crystal, like us.
Can't we work this out like gents?
- Get lost. - Whoa!
Jake, lose control, flip out on those guys.
No, dad.
I've got to control myself.
♪ Control, control, control, control ♪
Jake! Help!
My arm! Aah!
Whoa. Okay, okay.
I'm hatching a controlled plan.
All right, man, move out of the way
and let me get my friend.
Nope. Not doing it.
Then I'll have to move you myself...
with my mind.
[ straining ]
You're gonna hurt yourself.
Stop it.
[ straining ]
[ farts ]
[ breathing heavily ]
Your time is running out, little dog.
Hey, speed it up in there, guys.
Okay. Turn up the juice, mang.
Yeah, mang.
Aah. Aah!
Jake! Help! - Finn!
Don't hurt my buddy.
[ gasps ]
No, Jake, no. Don't lose control.
Jake. Jake.
Come on, punch them, Jake.
Punch everybody. Why not?
Come on! Why not?
No punchies. I am in control.
[ crying ]
Who are you talking to?
Nobody, man! Don't look at me!
[ sobbing ]
Whoa! [ laughing ]
Did you guys see that?
BOTH: Yes. Yeah.
Don't make fun of him.
He's having problems.
Everybody has -- aah!
Aaaaah!
Ugh! Stupid ghost dad.
I'll show him.
Ooh. Okay.
Intimidate them with controlled attack.
Hurry up, guys.
I got to drop a crystal donk.
Oh, come on. I don't want to hear that.
Hey, whatever, man. I ain't ashamed.
I got -- whoa. What -- what the...
Open up!
Feel my controlled attack.
Whaaaa! Psssh!
Whaaaaaaaa!
Psssh!
Stop it.
[ straining ]
I'm not hurting you, am I?
No, you freak.
Well, there's a lot more where that came from,
so you best tell me
why you're turning Finn into a crystal.
Or what, you'll touch me?
So help me, I will touch you.
Aah! Jake!
Aah! Help!
Finn, oh, no.
Cut it out. He looks good.
My body!
No! My bud!
[ whimpers ]
Eh, let him in. He can't do nothing now.
[ panting ]
I'm sorry, Finn. I'm superlame.
And now... you're dead.
I'm not dead.
I'm just all crystal-stiff.
Oh.
WOMAN: Get your hands off my lover.
- That voice. - It sounds like --
Yes, Finn, it's me, Tree Trunks.
But in this world, I'm known
as Quartzion the crystal queen.
Oh, my grosh. You're alive!
Oh, I'm more than alive, Finn.
After I ate that crystal apple in the scary dark forest,
I was transported to this crystal dimension,
where I became ruler of the crystal men.
And the crystal men are all in love with me.
- Love you, Quartzion! - I love you!
- We love you! - Love you!
Yes, yes, I know.
But your love...
[ chuckles ]
...is not enough.
ALL: Aah!
[ sizzling ]
[ both gasp ]
I wanted you, Finn,
so you could be transformed
into my sexy crystal king.
Tree Trunks, you've gone bananas
with crystal power.
Finn, it's not sexy for a king
to call his queen bananas.
Aah!
Jake, you've totally got to stop her.
I'll try, man, but I'm still figuring out my biz.
Here I come, Tree Trunks.
Taste my gentle rubs. - Whoa there.
Don't you put your junk on my trunk.
Go, Jake! Go!
She's too sassy and powerful.
Ow!
Jake, Jake, I brought someone here to see you.
It's your brother.
Jermaine? Are you dead?
No, man, we're just dreaming at the same time.
Well, I'm sorry about that time I beat you up.
Yo, that was an accident.
I knew you were just horsing off.
But, Dad, you said I'm gonna hurt everybody.
Yeah, everybody.
I don't know, Dad. That doesn't really help me.
Everybody who is evil, Jake.
Let me finish next time, hmm, yeah?
Oh. Well, then I'm over it then.
[ growls ]
Jake, kick Tree Trunks in the tummy.
She's probably still got that crystal gem apple inside her.
That must be giving her all her powers.
Marry me, Finn.
We can snuggle through time and space
and kiss each other
in an alternate dimensional plane.
Hyah!
Oh!
Oh, dear.
Yeah! [ laughs ]
T.T., you're back.
Oh, Jake, I was behaving so inappropriately.
I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, shush, Tree Trunks.
If I had a penny for every time someone went crazy,
hopped up on magic energy...
I'd be Abraham Lincoln.
Tree Trunks, you're okay.
BOTH: Finn!
I'm okay, too!
Oh, Finn, I was trapped here for so long,
and all I could think about...
was you and how you're so nice to me.
And I-I just wanted to say I think...
you're cute, and I like you.
Okay, okay. Let's go.
Finn, when we get home,
it's apple-pie time.
Oh!
[ laughs ]
♪ Apple pie in the oven
♪ Tell me you can taste my lovin' ♪
♪ Come along with me
♪ And the butterflies and bees
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ and do so as we please
♪ Come along with me
♪ to a cliff under a tree
This party is so crazy!