[ MOUSE SQUEAKS ]
[ PENGUINS CHIRP ]
[ ALL CHEERING ]
[ SCREECHES ]
[ QUACKS ]
♪ ADVENTURE TIME ♪
♪ COME ON, GRAB YOUR FRIENDS ♪
♪ WE'LL GO TO VERY DISTANT LANDS ♪
♪ WITH JAKE THE DOG AND FINN THE HUMAN ♪
♪ THE FUN WILL NEVER END ♪
♪ IT'S ADVENTURE TIME ♪
Starchy: WELCOME BACK TO "GRAVEYARD SHIFT."
I'M YOUR HOST -- STARCHY.
YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS, EVERYBODY?
IT'S OUR FIFTH-ANNIVERSARY SHOW.
SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN THAT TIME.
I SWITCHED FROM DRINKING RAINWATER
TO EATING DISTILLED ICE CHIPS.
I TOOK UP ROCK CLIMBING.
MY WIFE LEFT ME.
AND ALL-NEW CONSPIRACIES.
I FIRMLY BELIEVE
THAT ALL CHOCOLATE HAS BEEN SECRETLY REPLACED BY MUD.
AND WHY IS THE BURRITO MAN GIVING AWAY FREE BURRITOS?
HE'S AN AMATEUR MAD SCIENTIST
TRYING TO GENETICALLY CHANGE US INTO TORTILLAS.
MM. DUDE, COME ON.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SHARPENED YOUR PENCILS? HM?
NEVER. THEY'RE PENS PAINTED TO LOOK LIKE PENCILS.
CONSPIRACY!
OKAY, THE BOARD IS LIGHTING UP.
WE'RE GOING TO A CALLER.
YOU ARE ON THE AIR, CALLER.
I'm a banana guard.
OH. THAT'S A GOOD JOB TO HAVE.
YEAH, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
WHY DO THEY HAVE IT TUNED TO THIS EVERY TIME WE'RE HERE?
I CALL BALONEY!
SHH! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE FRIGHTENED CALLER.
SO, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SEEN SOMETHING NOT FROM THIS WORLD.
GO AHEAD, CALLER.
IT HAPPENED LAST SUNDAY.
I WAS DOING MY LAUNDRY AT THE MAT,
WHEN I SAW A REFLECTION OF A GIRL WITH EERIE BLANK EYES!
I TURNED AROUND, BUT NOBODY WAS THERE.
IT WAS SCARY.
YEAH, WEIRD GIRLS WITH SOULLESS BLANK EYES --
THEY'VE BEEN SPOTTED AROUND MULTIPLE KINGDOMS
ACROSS THE CENTURIES.
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE.
-BUT I HAVE A FEW THEORIES. -[ GROWLS ]
THEY'RE GHOSTS, AND THE LAST THING THEY LOOKED AT IN LIFE
WAS SO HORRIFIC, IT MADE THEIR EYES TURN BLANK.
PBBBBBHT! BALONEY!
THE PIZZA.
PBBBBBBBBBBBBHT!
TAKE THE REST TO GO.
MY SECOND THEORY...
OKAY, ALL BOXED UP AND READY TO GO.
200 BUCKS.
...BY OTHER BLANK-EYED GIRLS TOUCHING THEIR EYEBALLS.
BLBLBLBLBL! SPOOKY!
OOH, LOOK AT ME!
I'M LISTENING TO A DUMB NONSENSE RADIO SHOW!
HOW CAN YOU BE SO DISMISSIVE
AFTER SOME OF THE STUFF WE'VE SEEN?
YOU GOT TO DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE.
STARCHY'S MY LINE.
THEY'RE WALKING FISH
THAT JUST HAPPEN TO LOOK LIKE LITTLE GIRLS.
BALONEY!
DON'T TOUCH MY RADIO!
IT'S DARK.
YOU'RE SURE THAT BLANK-EYED GIRLS ARE MADE UP, RIGHT?
YEAH, MAN, IT'S ALL BALONEY.
[ OWL HOOTS ]
[ SHUDDERS ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
JAKE?
UH...
BLANK-EYED GIRL?
BOO! [ High-pitched ] AAAAAAH!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
BOO!
[ BOTH SIGH ]
[ TWIGS SNAPPING ]
[ BOTH CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY ]
[ SNAPPING CONTINUES ]
Both: IS THIS CREEPING YOU OUT?
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
[ OWL HOOTS ]
[ SNAPPING CONTINUES ]
AAH! AAH!
CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND? CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND?
YES. YES. [ LEAVES RUSTLE ]
[ BOTH GASP ]
[ BOTH PANTING ]
AAAH!
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
THAT WAS STUPID.
YEAH -- STUPID.
[ SCRATCHING ]
[ BOTH GASP ]
ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME?
UNH-UNH. YOU'RE MESSING WITH ME.
[ SCRATCHING ]
MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE.
YEAH, LIKE...ICE KING, MAYBE.
AAAH! AAAH!
WHO WAS THAT?
MAYBE IT WAS NOBODY.
COURAGE, COURAGE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
THAT COULD BE A NORMAL LITTLE GIRL WHO NEEDS HELP.
[ Shuddering ] NO!
AAAH! AAAH!
THERE! BLANK-EYED GIRL!
[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
SHE'S TOO CREEPY, MAN!
I KNOW! I KNOW!
BUT I GOT AN IDEA.
WELCOME, NEXT CALLER.
FINN: Hello, Starchy? Am I on?
Yeah, you're on.
LONGTIME LISTENER, FIRST-TIME CALLER.
We got the wonderful Finn the Human on the phone.
Go ahead, Finn.
STARCHY, I'M IN A BLANK-EYED GIRL SITUATION RIGHT NOW.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO GET A BETTER LOOK.
All right, stay calm. You called the right guy.
The question is, why did she choose you?
Are these visits random events?
[ GASPS ]
[ WHIMPERS ]
JAKE. AAAH!
Finn, have you invited the blank-eyed girl inside?
NO. WHY?
Because I believe the girls have to follow vampire rules.
As long as you don't invite her in, you should be fine.
OKAY. LET ME WRITE THIS DOWN.
OOP.
STARCHY? SHE INVITED HERSELF IN.
Uh...run.
Starchy, she's staring right at us!
OH! I GOT IT -- FAIRY RULES.
TRY OFFERING HER SOME CREAM IN SAUCER.
THAT SHOULD APPEASE THE BLANK-EYED GIRL'S HUNGER
AND SEND HER AWAY.
GOTCHA.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
-JAKE, GO GET THE CREAM. -WHAT?!
NO! YOU GO! THIS IS YOUR DEAL!
JUST GO!
OKAY! GEEZ!
THANK YOU.
[ HAIR RUSTLING ]
OKAY -- CREAM.
EUGGGGGHH.
[ BOWL SHATTERS ] AAAH!
-EWWW! -STARCHY?
MM. DIDN'T WORK, HUH?
MUST BE A HAINT, THEN.
Try playing the clarinet. Haints hate the clarinet.
[ GROANS ]
[ CLARINET PLAYING ]
I THINK IT'S WORKING! KEEP PLAYING!
[ CLARINET CONTINUES ]
UH...
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
JAKE, STOP!
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
STARCHY, I THINK THEY LIKE THE CLARINET MUSIC!
ALSO, THERE'S SIX OF THEM NOW!
JEEPERS! REALLY?
UH...O-OKAY.
NOW I DEFINITELY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH --
AN UNDEAD.
THE UNDEAD FEAR THE GAZE OF THE COMMON YARD CHICKEN.
OUR CHICKEN RAN AWAY, THOUGH.
[ GROWLS ]
ARE YOU SURE WE NEED THE FEATHERS?
MY CHICKEN'S PRETTY SPOT-ON.
WE DON'T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES, YOU KNOW?
HM.
HEY!
[ BAWKS ]
ALL THIS ADVICE IS JUST MADE-UP BALONEY!
STARCHY, ALL YOUR ADVICE IS MADE-UP BALONEY!
AWW.
WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? JUST LIVE WITH THIS?
NO MORE RELYING ON HEARSAY.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE IT TO THE SOURCE.
SECONDARY SOURCE.
GIRL STUFF, BOY STUFF, EAR STUFF, BUTT STUFF.
HEY! CREEPY STUFF!
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
GOT IT.
AAH! AAH!
SHH.
LIBRARY'S CLOSED.
TURTLE PRINCESS!
DID YOU DYE YOUR HAIR?
OH, YEAH, I DID.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
YEAH -- HOTNESS.
SAY, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CREEPY BLANK-EYED GIRLS?
NO, BUT I CAN FIND OUT.
"CREEPY BLANK-EYED GIRLS."
OH!
SAYS HERE THEY'RE AN URBAN LEGEND
THAT FIRST APPEARED FIVE YEARS AGO.
-THEY'RE SUPPOSEDLY... -WAIT -- FIVE YEARS AGO?
THAT'S -- THAT'S JUST LIKE STARCHY'S RADIO SHOW.
[ GASPS DEEPLY ]
MAYBE THEY'RE TULPAS!
WHAT THE BLOB IS A TULPA?
PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS OF CONCENTRATED COLLECTIVE THOUGHT.
THEY'RE ENTITIES WHO DEPEND ON THE ENERGY
OF PEOPLE BELIEVING IN THEM IN ORDER TO EXIST --
PEOPLE LIKE STARCHY'S LISTENERS.
OKAY.
AND WHERE DID YOU LEARN ALL THIS BLOBBITY-BOB?
STARCHY'S RADIO SHOW.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO.
THANKS TURTLE P.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ Muffled ] ANY TIME, FINNY.
WHY DON'T WE CALL, LIKE, CHILD SERVICES?
OR AN EXTERMINATOR?
THIS IS GONNA WORK. JUST TRUST ME, A'IGHT?
UGH.
DO AS I DO.
[ ALL EXHALE ]
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
BOY, I JUST LOVE WALKING THROUGH
OUR DELIGHTFULLY NOT-CREEPY DOORWAY.
-DON'T YOU, JAKE? -UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
AAAAAAAAH!
WALKING THROUGH THE NOT-CREEPY AIR
TO MY NOT-CREEPY COUCH, SITTING ON MY NOT-CREEPY BUTT.
[ CHUCKLES ] YOUR BUTT IS KINDA CREEPY.
I SAY "CREEPY" IS JUST ANOTHER LABEL WE USE
TO DISTANCE OURSELVES FROM STUFF WE DON'T UNDERSTAND --
[ GASPING ] OR THAT REMINDS US OF SOMETHING IN OURSELVES
[ GASPING ] THAT WE'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH.
HM.
I MEAN, IT JUST AIN'T AN ACTUAL THING, YOU KNOW?
UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT.
RIGHT, JAKE?
[ SIGHS SHAKILY ]
IT'S BALONEY! IT'S BALONEY! IT'S STARCHY'S BALONEY!
I JUST GOT TO THINK OF SOMETHING WHOLESOME.
[ SPEAKS KOREAN ]
AAAH!
AAAAH!
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
NOOOOO!!
PIZZA'S CREEPY NOW!
[ CRYING ]
YOU WIN, ALL RIGHT?!
YOU'RE MAD-CREEPY!
DO WHAT YOU WILL, YOU GLOBLESS BLANK-EYED GIRLS!
UH...
[ High-pitched ] WHAT?
WHAT THE BUTT FUZZ?!
CONTACT LENSES?!
HA! BALONEY.
NOTHING BUT SOME KIDS PLAYING A DUMB PRANK!
MAN. THIS WHOLE TIME, THEY WERE JUST REGULAR GIRLS.
WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS, HUH?
YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO JAIL! YOU HEAR?
SO, Y'ALL ARE BALD.
GOOD JOB.
I'M STILL CALLING THE COPS.
[ SQUEAKING ]
[ BOTH WHIMPERING ]
WHAT THE JUNK WAS THAT?
I THINK IT WAS...
BEAUTIFUL.
♪ COME ALONG WITH ME ♪
♪ AND THE BUTTERFLIES AND BEES ♪