1 00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:03,754 I acknowledge that, henceforth, 2 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:08,132 my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. 3 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,720 I will be unable to access outside recollections 4 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,848 whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, 5 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:17,351 nor retain work memories upon my ascent. 6 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,898 I am aware that this alteration 7 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,526 is comprehensive and irreversible. 8 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,112 I make these statements freely. 9 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:34,117 Okay, that's a wrap. 10 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,205 Come with me, please. 11 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,257 So your work personage will be waking in a few hours on the severed floor. 12 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,593 But the next time you yourself will be sentient will be this evening, 13 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,136 in the elevator back up. 14 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,221 Okay. 15 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:58,267 The elevator has a handrail at hip-level if you feel dizzy. 16 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,768 Oh, man. 17 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,815 I love seeing the sunrise on his face. 18 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,361 You know he used to drink three raw eggs in milk each morning? 19 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,445 I've heard. 20 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,114 His favorite breakfast. 21 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,533 We'll get you prepped in here. 22 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,160 - Good morning, Lawrence. - Good morning. 23 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,189 They say it doesn't hurt. 24 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,403 Just relax. 25 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,378 Little vibration now. 26 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,003 I'll be upstairs after to let you know how it went. 27 00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,757 Sorry if I freak out on you a little. 28 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,428 Don't worry. I'm very excited to meet you. 29 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,805 Hey, Helly. 30 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,932 What's happening? 31 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,142 Great to see you. 32 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,103 Your orientation's been so much fun. 33 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,232 Where am I? 34 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:57,404 Okay, so sometimes when a new hire is adjusting to a severed space, 35 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,698 we help by bringing them here to the stairwell, 36 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,658 to experience the transition viscerally. 37 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,619 Oh, no. I'm trying to leave? 38 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,912 No, no. 39 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,455 It's all part of the process. 40 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,957 If you wanna spin around and head back in, that should be that. 41 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,838 Hey, there. 42 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,427 - What the hell? - That's okay. 43 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,262 Not a problem. 44 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,640 Wanna give it another shot? 45 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,141 Maybe with a little oomph? 46 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,314 Hi. 47 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:33,982 I'm at the stairwell. 48 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,777 It's going fair. 49 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,321 No, she's-- 50 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,405 Fuck! 51 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,991 I'ma call you back. 52 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,245 Wow. 53 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,415 You're an inquisitive one. 54 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,501 I don't wanna be in there, do I? 55 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,794 You're learning that you do. 56 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,882 Hey, when we heard you were coming here, it was like a miracle. 57 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,593 It's amazing what you're doing. 58 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:25,367 Hey, old-timer! 59 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,160 One day down. 60 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,232 Hey. 61 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,234 Hey. 62 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,610 So it's tomorrow now? 63 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:48,946 Yeah. 64 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,822 Well, it's Monday. 65 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,200 - A weekend just happened? - Yeah. 66 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,701 I don't even feel like I left. 67 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,496 Yeah, that's how nights and weekends feel here. 68 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,289 Like nothing? 69 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,499 Well, you get used to it. 70 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:03,210 I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep 71 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,629 since we don't actually get to experience it. 72 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,216 You may feel rejuvenated or happy. 73 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,885 Less tense in the shoulders. Spry. 74 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,931 So it's 09:05? 75 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,268 Yeah, they stagger the entries too so we don't meet on the outside. 76 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,686 It's important apparently. 77 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,940 So I guess we're not friends. 78 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,901 Guess not. 79 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,074 My current file's called "Tumwater"… 80 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,368 which I started some 11 weeks back. 81 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,786 "Tumwater." All one word. 82 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,413 Should I be taking notes? 83 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,832 - No. - I've got it 96% sorted, 84 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,585 which means I've earned four of the five tier incentives, 85 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:49,256 including the erasers and the finger traps that you see displayed here. 86 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,010 100% is tier five. That gets you a caricature portrait. 87 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,972 You'll note I've accrued an embarrassment of wealth in that regard. 88 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,515 - Wow. - Correct. 89 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,976 Each one of these? Finished file in the can. 90 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,312 So that's the highest award? 91 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,521 Percentage-wise, yes. 92 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,690 But if we hit our numbers by quarter's end, 93 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,817 one of us gets named refiner of the quarter, 94 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:11,195 and that shit gets you a waffle party. 95 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,863 I'm sorry, a waffle party? 96 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,364 Okay, hazards on, eager lemur. 97 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:17,701 I'm a dead lock for that this quarter, so don't get your hopes up. 98 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,414 What about Mark's crystal head cube? 99 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:25,417 That's not a prize, that's just something they gave him. 100 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:27,878 Helly, could you flip on this console? 101 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,479 Okay. 102 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,191 That's-- Excuse me. 103 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,951 Mark, sorry to interrupt. I know you're training Helly. 104 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,246 I just noticed you've removed the group photos from the desks. 105 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,457 Yeah. We're gonna take the new ones at Helly's party today. 106 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,880 Okay, this is the Siena file. 107 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,799 Now, all the data you see 108 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,344 falls into one of four essential categories. 109 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,555 And we group each line of code, 110 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:24,184 and then sort it evenly between five digital buckets. 111 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,269 Party. 112 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,229 Just poke around first. Use the arrows. 113 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:31,233 I do think the old photos are supposed to stay on the desk 114 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,943 until the new ones come in. 115 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:40,951 Right. 116 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,787 - Should this mean something to me? - No. 117 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,331 No, all the data comes from upstairs fully encoded. 118 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,917 Then how do I categorize it? 119 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,045 What? 120 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:58,677 Each category of numbers presents in such an order as to elicit 121 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,971 an emotional response in the refiner. 122 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:07,477 So, Cat 1 numbers, for example, feel a certain way on sight. 123 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,731 They'll be sort of disconcerting, scary. 124 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:11,815 Scary? 125 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,108 I know. 126 00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,943 My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet 127 00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:16,612 and look for numbers that are scary? 128 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,697 It sounds dumb, and Mark said it dumb. 129 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,950 Are the numbers bloody? Do they chant? 130 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,912 It doesn't make sense till you see it, and it takes a while to see. 131 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,872 Hey, Mark. I just printed out 132 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,333 the passage of the handbook on changing out group photos. 133 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,544 Just might be good to peruse when you're between things. 134 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,463 - Thank you. - Sorry. 135 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:38,967 Am I trapped here? 136 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,638 In what way? 137 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:46,433 Like if it turns out I hate this and I want to quit, is that an option? 138 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:51,188 Look. 139 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,815 If you're really unhappy, 140 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:58,111 you can submit a resignation request with your outside self for review. 141 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,072 And good luck getting that approved. 142 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:03,867 Well, they do tend to be rejected. Plus, you know… 143 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,453 What? 144 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:12,167 Well, since this perceptual version of you only exists at Lumon, 145 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,462 I mean, quitting would effectively end your life. 146 00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:17,464 I mean, in so much as you've come to know it. 147 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:20,968 Hello, Refiners. 148 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,136 Sweet. Melon bar. 149 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,680 Hi, Mr. Milchick. 150 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,099 Helly, welcome. 151 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,686 I'm agog at how well I can tell you're already fitting in. 152 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,397 The office feels whole. 153 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:38,527 Now, let's get this party started. 154 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:47,870 Well, my name is Irving, as you all know. 155 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,122 And I've worked here for three years, 156 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:55,002 and something about me is that I know all nine core Lumon principles. 157 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,546 Awesome. What's your favorite? 158 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,550 All nine. 159 00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:06,680 But today, I think I'd say, "cheer". 160 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,764 Great. 161 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,229 No trust fall today, Irv. 162 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,441 Right. 163 00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:28,202 No. No. 164 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,878 Hello, I'm Helly. 165 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,671 I've been at Lumon for, like… 166 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,840 ten hours total, and… 167 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:46,553 I'm sorry, I don't know anything about myself. 168 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,847 Sure you do, Helly. 169 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,308 I really don't. 170 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:53,894 I guess I went home last night, 171 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,063 but I don't know if home is a house, or an apartment, 172 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,231 or if I live with a family-- 173 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,983 I like to think my outie lives on, like, a riverboat. 174 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,612 I'm sorry, outies are-- 175 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,490 They're us on the outside. 176 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,784 You saw yours yesterday in the video. 177 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,120 Right. I actually have a few things to say to her. Can I record something back? 178 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,917 So what you'll find here is that communication between selves 179 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,377 is pretty curtailed. 180 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,462 So what if I write her a note? 181 00:15:20,546 --> 00:15:24,591 Fortunately, the elevators are equipped with something called "code detectors." 182 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,969 So messages can't be passed through. 183 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:30,472 Yeah-- They're like metal detectors for written symbols. 184 00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:31,807 A Lumon original, apparently. 185 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:32,975 That's right. Right. 186 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,893 Sure. Okay, well what if I-- 187 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,688 I don't think you're quite getting the game here, Helly. 188 00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:39,898 May I? 189 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,027 Guys, this is Helly. 190 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,447 She's 30 years old, she's allergic to almonds and has weak enamel. 191 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,243 At 5'6'', she's the fourth tallest person in your office, 192 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,496 and her hair is what we call shoulder-length. 193 00:15:56,123 --> 00:16:00,419 And seeing her here with you all, I'd say she most definitely has a family. 194 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,094 Wow. Well, that's a lot to follow. 195 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,514 So I'll just say that I'm Mark. 196 00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:18,312 Been with Lumon about two years, and I absolutely love this game. 197 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:23,567 Nice try, pal, but you said that last time. 198 00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,361 Fair enough. 199 00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,200 Well, I… 200 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:40,334 I broke protocol this morning. 201 00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,924 I was dusting the old group photos, the ones with Petey, 202 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,550 and it just… 203 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,054 made me feel sad. 204 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,265 And, I guess, 205 00:16:56,225 --> 00:17:00,103 worried that I won't be able to run MDR like he did. 206 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,231 That tracks. I have similar worries. 207 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:04,775 So I… 208 00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:08,862 took 'em from the cubicles and put 'em in the storage closet, 209 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,156 which we're not supposed to do. 210 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,702 I recall this. I objected. 211 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,124 Thank you for telling me, Mark. 212 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,253 I actually find your reaction sweet. 213 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:29,383 Though, it is puzzling you have an outburst like this for Petey, 214 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:32,553 and not for, say, Carol D. 215 00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:36,557 But we knew Carol D. was leaving beforehand. 216 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,600 I mean, her outie filmed a thank-you. 217 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,728 Petey was just gone. 218 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,107 And I mean, I-- I don't know 219 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:51,488 if he's at some new job or drunk on a beach, or dead-- 220 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,031 That's enough, please. 221 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,043 I think this is a good time to remind ourselves 222 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,255 that things like deaths happen outside of here. 223 00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:10,716 Not here. 224 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:15,179 A life at Lumon is protected from such things. 225 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:21,977 And I think a great potential response to that from all of you is gratitude. 226 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,614 I also think that melon isn't getting any tastier. 227 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,400 Hey, sorry I derailed your game. 228 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:15,280 I thought I already had, but then, yeah, you made it way worse. 229 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,786 So how are you gonna figure out if Petey's okay? 230 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,372 I think Milchick was pretty clear. 231 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,041 You're just done asking about your best friend 232 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,918 because our babysitter told you to stop? 233 00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:32,214 You know, Milchick's a nice man. 234 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,175 When he says something, it's best to listen. 235 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:38,095 - I don't care. - 'Cause he can't always be nice like that. 236 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,097 Okay, Refiners! 237 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,350 Let's get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in. 238 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,488 At last. 239 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:04,329 All right. Great big smiles. Remember, you're gonna be looking at this every day. 240 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,624 Say "gratitude." 241 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,585 Gratitude! 242 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:13,881 Say "cheer." 243 00:20:14,423 --> 00:20:15,883 Cheer! 244 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,181 Helly? What are you doing? 245 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:26,143 I just think I'm not gonna work here anymore. Sorry. 246 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,394 What do you mean? 247 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:28,937 I quit. 248 00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,731 I don't wanna do the file-sorting thing 249 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:33,150 or the never-seeing-the-sun-thing or the disappearing-friends thing. 250 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,694 - I just don't want any of it. - We told you there's code detectors. 251 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:39,489 Do you know that? Have you tried? Because frankly, it sounds made-up. 252 00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,582 Helly! 253 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,253 Helly! 254 00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:07,142 Please, you don't know-- 255 00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:10,646 Oh, God. Come on. 256 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,116 Shit. Mr. Graner? 257 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,704 Come on out. 258 00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:35,045 What have we got here? 259 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:39,675 Perhaps you'd better come with me. 260 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:40,843 Mr. Graner. 261 00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:47,766 Hey. I see you've found my wayward trainee. 262 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,936 Appreciate your help, sir, as always. 263 00:21:53,981 --> 00:21:54,982 The note. 264 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,403 So, this is embarrassing, but it's my first time training, 265 00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,699 and I must've just forgotten to go over data-smuggling rules with Helly. 266 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,702 Sorry. This is Helly. 267 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:07,786 Helly, Mr. Graner. 268 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:09,997 Yeah. 269 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:14,668 Yeah, so if Helly tripped the code detectors, 270 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:19,298 that one, it's on me and I apologize for that, sir. 271 00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:20,799 Earnestly. 272 00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:24,303 Big department chief now, Mark S.? 273 00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:25,971 Well… 274 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:30,517 On you, then. Let's go. 275 00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:47,886 Mark. 276 00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:52,933 So you're a doula? 277 00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:55,352 A midwife, actually. 278 00:23:57,688 --> 00:24:01,525 And how many deliveries have you, I don't know, seen? 279 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,822 Over 300? 280 00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,199 This is mostly back in Montana. 281 00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:11,743 - Wow. That's so cool. - Yeah. 282 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:14,162 That's such a high amount. 283 00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:17,749 Yeah. We get two a day. 284 00:24:18,876 --> 00:24:19,918 Depending. 285 00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:32,723 So, is that, like, ten a week? 286 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,725 Like, in a five-day work week, or… 287 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,435 - Yeah, or so. - Yeah. Okay. 288 00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:41,106 - Are you vetting me for your sister? - No. Oh, no. You seem great. 289 00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:42,733 - Yeah, I'm kidding. - I know. 290 00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:53,410 Thank you. 291 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:55,996 So, Lumon? 292 00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:58,957 - Yeah. - Like half this town. 293 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:01,835 And half of me. That was a joke. 294 00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:03,962 It was funny. 295 00:25:04,046 --> 00:25:09,885 Yeah. I'm in the archives division, sort of a corporate historian, apparently. 296 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:14,181 So a lot of sensitive material, hence the… 297 00:25:16,892 --> 00:25:18,310 So you don't know… 298 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:23,148 who you work with, or what you do, or-- or anything? 299 00:25:23,232 --> 00:25:24,942 Yeah, that's the idea. 300 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,319 - What if you snuck in a note? - You can't sneak notes. 301 00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:28,946 So… 302 00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,907 - you could have a girlfriend at Lumon… - Thank you. 303 00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:32,991 …and not know it. 304 00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:35,702 And if you met someone out here, you wouldn't know it in there. 305 00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:38,163 Like, you could get married and have kids, 306 00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:40,791 and just forget they exist for eight hours every day, 307 00:25:40,874 --> 00:25:42,251 for your whole life. 308 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:44,336 That doesn't mess with your head? 309 00:25:47,631 --> 00:25:50,384 I think for some people, it's the point. 310 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:59,560 So, as a local, this just feels like a reasonable temperature to you? 311 00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:01,603 Well, technically, I'm from Ganz. 312 00:26:01,687 --> 00:26:04,022 And you're one to talk. 313 00:26:04,106 --> 00:26:08,318 Isn't Minnesota, like, crazy cold with the lakes? 314 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:10,737 Yes. Minnesota was very cold 315 00:26:10,821 --> 00:26:14,908 the one time I visited from my home in Montana. 316 00:26:15,868 --> 00:26:17,035 So those are different places. 317 00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:22,165 So do you live in Lumon housing? 318 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,669 You make it sound like dorms or something. 319 00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:28,589 - No, I just meant that there's-- - I live in Baird Creek. 320 00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:33,343 And, yes, they happen to be subsidized by the company that employs me. 321 00:26:33,427 --> 00:26:35,721 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health? 322 00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,389 And legalized severance in the workplace? 323 00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:41,602 - Nice. The WMC's out and about. - Who? 324 00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:44,313 Most severed workers don't see the sun their whole lives. 325 00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:46,690 The Whole Mind Collective. They're great. 326 00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:49,443 Excuse me, do you have a moment for children's brain health? 327 00:26:49,526 --> 00:26:50,527 We're all good. 328 00:26:50,611 --> 00:26:52,487 You folks have a moment for children's brain health? 329 00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:53,447 - We do. - Great! 330 00:26:53,530 --> 00:26:55,240 We're trying to get a measure on the ballot 331 00:26:55,324 --> 00:26:58,076 to keep mega-corporations like Lumon from continuing to force 332 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,411 legalized severance on our state. 333 00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,871 They're forcing it now? 334 00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:03,749 That's what they're lobbying for. And Jame Eagan is trying to sever kids-- 335 00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:07,085 Okay, well, what about the self-mutilating types who do it willingly? 336 00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:09,671 I mean, I heard that some of them are so deluded 337 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:11,507 they don't even know they're victims. 338 00:27:11,590 --> 00:27:14,176 I also heard that if you're severed, 339 00:27:14,259 --> 00:27:17,346 you go to two separate hells. Is that true? 340 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:19,848 Hey, man, you wanna benefit off forced labor, that's up… 341 00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:22,142 - Hey, man. Forced labor? - …then that's up to you. 342 00:27:22,226 --> 00:27:23,268 Fucking really? 343 00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:24,561 - Hey! - Yeah. 344 00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:25,938 - Forced labor? Okay. - Really. 345 00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:28,482 So people can just, like, self-imprison? 346 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:30,067 Are you captive right now? 347 00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:34,363 No, seriously, because your past self chose to walk you down here 348 00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,907 to be an infantilizing prick to people. 349 00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:39,785 Severance is subjugation, asshole. 350 00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:42,621 That's nice language for a-- 351 00:27:42,704 --> 00:27:44,122 What-- What are you? Twelve? 352 00:27:44,206 --> 00:27:47,084 Are you 12 years old? Are you even in high school yet? 353 00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:51,255 Okay. Come on. 354 00:28:21,952 --> 00:28:22,953 Mrs. Selvig. 355 00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:24,746 Peace offering. 356 00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,790 Are we fighting? 357 00:28:26,874 --> 00:28:30,002 I just keep thinking about those damn bins. 358 00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:35,382 Well, that is so not necessary, but very kind. Thank you. 359 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,221 Here, why don't you come in? I have milk. 360 00:28:41,930 --> 00:28:43,682 - Why, thank you! - Yeah. 361 00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:49,855 I'm experimenting with chamomile, so no hard feelings if you gag. 362 00:28:49,938 --> 00:28:51,106 I'm sure I won't. 363 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:58,030 Still waiting for that third bulb to revive itself? 364 00:28:58,113 --> 00:29:01,158 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting to change that. 365 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:04,786 My, you smell nice. Were you on a date? 366 00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:12,753 Sort of. My sister set me up with, like, her doula, or midwife. 367 00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,505 Didn't really feel like anything. 368 00:29:19,885 --> 00:29:22,262 Well, let's see here. I'll… 369 00:29:32,064 --> 00:29:33,190 Wow. 370 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:35,150 This i-- These are magic. 371 00:29:39,446 --> 00:29:41,281 My late husband was a carpenter, 372 00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:42,824 and before he passed, 373 00:29:42,908 --> 00:29:47,788 he said he would start building us a house in the hereafter. 374 00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:52,292 And there would be a small guest apartment in the back, 375 00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:55,337 in case I found a new man before I got there. 376 00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:00,843 That's… so sweet. 377 00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:07,516 Yes. He even drew blueprints, which I keep in my purse. 378 00:30:13,063 --> 00:30:14,648 Well, come by the shop, okay? 379 00:30:14,731 --> 00:30:19,319 I'll give you a mugwort bath bomb that'll make you sleep like a rag doll. 380 00:30:19,403 --> 00:30:20,863 I'll try to get down there. 381 00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:23,448 Good night, Mrs. Selvig. 382 00:31:19,922 --> 00:31:21,924 The nerve, my new partner's a woman. 383 00:31:22,007 --> 00:31:24,259 I just think you could've mentioned it sooner. 384 00:31:24,343 --> 00:31:28,931 You'd better be on the stakeout and not… out for a steak. 385 00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:30,868 Seth Milchick, Lumon Industries. 386 00:32:30,951 --> 00:32:33,036 Mr. Milchick, it's Mark Scout. 387 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,081 I'm a severed worker. Employee number 4502. 388 00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:39,168 Mr. Scout, what a pleasure. How can I help you? 389 00:32:39,251 --> 00:32:41,712 I actually woke up not feeling terribly well. 390 00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:43,380 I'm sorry I'm just now calling. 391 00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:47,176 Oh, no. May I ask how serious it is? 392 00:32:47,259 --> 00:32:51,930 Well, nothing bad, just very minor stomach event. 393 00:32:52,014 --> 00:32:53,307 Should be back tomorrow. 394 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,517 Well, I'm sorry. 395 00:32:55,601 --> 00:32:58,228 I know your innie will be sad to have missed the day. 396 00:33:00,522 --> 00:33:02,983 You feel better. Okay, Mr. Scout? 397 00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:10,324 - Where's Mark? - Missed you too. 398 00:33:10,407 --> 00:33:13,327 He should be coming down first now. You don't think that-- 399 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:15,996 He's probably sick. They wouldn't bounce him and Petey the same week. 400 00:33:16,079 --> 00:33:17,414 I certainly hope not. 401 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:18,916 Quarterly deadline's coming up, 402 00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:21,502 and I'm not looking to be department chief. 403 00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:25,422 Wow. Lot a confidence for a man who once got disciplined for dozing. 404 00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:29,343 Sorry. That was-- 405 00:33:32,137 --> 00:33:35,182 I can't help that I was hired older than you. 406 00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:39,603 It just never stops, huh? 407 00:33:39,686 --> 00:33:40,938 Endless toil. 408 00:33:42,272 --> 00:33:43,398 Where's Mark? 409 00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,651 Sick or fired. Probably sick. 410 00:33:46,151 --> 00:33:48,237 They wouldn't have fired him for my note thing, would they? 411 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,031 No. No way. He did his stint in the break room yesterday. 412 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,370 He said he was ill. 413 00:33:56,954 --> 00:33:58,163 Did he sound ill? 414 00:33:58,247 --> 00:34:00,499 I don't know. He said it was abdominal. 415 00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:03,210 Funny timing. 416 00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:47,963 The erasers are mostly decorative, since we don't have pencils. 417 00:34:48,045 --> 00:34:50,382 Finger trap is fun, as long as you know how to use it safely. 418 00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:53,594 But it's really more about what they represent, how far you got in the file. 419 00:34:54,261 --> 00:34:57,139 - But why don't we always finish the files? - 'Cause they only keep so long. 420 00:34:57,806 --> 00:35:01,185 You know, we finish, on average, one in five files before they expire. 421 00:35:01,268 --> 00:35:04,938 Which is better than it used to be before Mark's freshman fluke. 422 00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:06,273 What's a freshman fluke? 423 00:36:05,332 --> 00:36:06,416 No! 424 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:08,252 Irv? 425 00:36:11,129 --> 00:36:12,464 I'm-- I'm sorry. 426 00:36:13,257 --> 00:36:14,299 Irving? 427 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:20,490 We'll deduct the time you spent dozing from your outie's paycheck. 428 00:37:20,991 --> 00:37:24,661 What will be harder to fix, Irving, is my and Ms. Cobel's trust in you. 429 00:37:25,204 --> 00:37:28,081 I'm so sorry, sir. I'm just so sorry. 430 00:37:28,165 --> 00:37:31,126 Well, no one is hankering to throw you in the break room. 431 00:37:31,835 --> 00:37:34,922 We'll do a wellness check with Ms. Casey and go from there, all right? 432 00:37:35,422 --> 00:37:36,840 Thank you, Mr. Milchick. 433 00:37:59,404 --> 00:38:00,656 Nothing scary yet. 434 00:38:09,957 --> 00:38:11,291 Oh, God! A four! 435 00:38:11,375 --> 00:38:12,543 Don't fuck around. 436 00:38:13,085 --> 00:38:16,338 I told you, you'll understand when you see it, so just be patient. 437 00:38:16,964 --> 00:38:18,423 What even are these numbers? 438 00:38:18,507 --> 00:38:20,884 Like, do we even know what we're supposedly cleaning? 439 00:38:23,262 --> 00:38:24,263 My theory? 440 00:38:25,973 --> 00:38:26,974 The sea. 441 00:38:29,268 --> 00:38:30,269 The sea? 442 00:38:30,978 --> 00:38:32,437 Yeah. Think about it. 443 00:38:32,521 --> 00:38:35,649 Okay, if our outies are up there severing their brains, 444 00:38:35,732 --> 00:38:37,526 shit must have gotten pretty bad. 445 00:38:37,609 --> 00:38:40,279 Famine, plagues, et cetera. 446 00:38:40,362 --> 00:38:43,574 So what is a desperate humanity to do? 447 00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,035 Populate the sea? 448 00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:48,495 Populate the sea. 449 00:38:48,579 --> 00:38:52,332 But first, they gotta send probes down to the sea to clean up 450 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:55,878 all the deadly eels and shit, 'cause we can't cohabitate with that. 451 00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:59,882 So we send the probes down, they send us the data coded, 452 00:38:59,965 --> 00:39:04,511 we sense what's eels, and then we tell the probes what to blow up. 453 00:39:08,015 --> 00:39:09,266 This is the leading theory? 454 00:39:11,226 --> 00:39:14,313 Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies. 455 00:39:18,775 --> 00:39:22,362 But what is it? Like, what-- what are we actually workin' on down there? 456 00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:25,449 I don't know. 457 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,328 I thought without severance it would make more sense, but… 458 00:39:31,163 --> 00:39:33,832 They separate us from the other departments. 459 00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,751 We don't even know how many there are. 460 00:39:40,255 --> 00:39:42,508 But I've been reintegrated for two weeks now. 461 00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:46,887 I've been mapping out the floor. 462 00:39:58,607 --> 00:40:00,984 I hid the original for you when I left. 463 00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:22,089 You okay? 464 00:40:30,222 --> 00:40:31,223 Sorry. 465 00:40:32,599 --> 00:40:33,892 Reintegration sickness. 466 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,188 Never heard of that one. 467 00:40:38,981 --> 00:40:41,400 Because I'm the first dipshit that's ever had it. 468 00:40:42,693 --> 00:40:46,530 Plus, living in a cold-ass greenhouse doesn't help, but I can't go home. 469 00:40:49,658 --> 00:40:53,787 Okay, so what is it that happens down there that's so bad? 470 00:40:57,666 --> 00:40:58,667 There's this room… 471 00:41:05,340 --> 00:41:07,759 We go in there when we don't act right. 472 00:41:15,517 --> 00:41:16,643 What is that? 473 00:41:23,358 --> 00:41:24,943 I'm afraid you're not sorry. 474 00:41:26,069 --> 00:41:30,282 Please. I truly am. I'm sorry. 475 00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:32,034 Please read the statement again. 476 00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:38,415 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. 477 00:41:38,498 --> 00:41:44,338 None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on. 478 00:41:44,421 --> 00:41:46,632 I am thankful to have been caught, 479 00:41:46,715 --> 00:41:50,802 my fall cut short by those with wizened hands. 480 00:41:51,678 --> 00:41:55,307 All I can be is sorry, and that is all that I am. 481 00:41:56,475 --> 00:42:00,896 I'm afraid you don't mean it. Again, please. 482 00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:07,069 Forgive me for the harm I have caused this world. 483 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,865 None may atone for my actions but me. 484 00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:16,662 The fuck is that? 485 00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:20,332 That's the break room. 486 00:42:53,448 --> 00:42:54,700 I'm-- I'm sorry. 487 00:42:54,783 --> 00:42:56,034 No, I'm sorry, sir. 488 00:42:56,118 --> 00:42:58,328 I didn't think anybody was out here. 489 00:42:58,412 --> 00:43:01,206 I'm coming out from my session. 490 00:43:01,290 --> 00:43:06,587 I was just going in. I was admiring the art while I wait. 491 00:43:07,462 --> 00:43:11,133 That piece hung in the perpetuity wing for many years. 492 00:43:11,216 --> 00:43:14,094 I know. And it broke my heart when they took it down. 493 00:43:14,678 --> 00:43:16,972 It's better here. It's calming. 494 00:43:20,184 --> 00:43:22,895 I'm Irving. Macrodata Refinement. 495 00:43:23,478 --> 00:43:24,938 Are you a department head? 496 00:43:25,022 --> 00:43:26,940 Well, Optics and Design. 497 00:43:27,691 --> 00:43:30,152 A two-person department, so, barely. 498 00:43:30,235 --> 00:43:31,653 So this is your work? 499 00:43:32,446 --> 00:43:35,199 We don't paint them. We do hang them. 500 00:43:35,282 --> 00:43:40,495 I loved that you did the Ambrose cycle in the team-building space last quarter. 501 00:43:41,038 --> 00:43:42,956 I'd never seen it. 502 00:43:43,457 --> 00:43:45,959 Well, it's rare to meet a sophisticate. 503 00:43:46,877 --> 00:43:50,881 Most people only think of O&D when new handbook totes come in. 504 00:43:51,924 --> 00:43:53,717 Well, I love those too. 505 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,177 Yeah? 506 00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:57,638 There's new ones coming next month. 507 00:43:58,597 --> 00:44:00,390 Best design yet, in my view. 508 00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:05,437 Wow! Well, that's all I'll be thinking about until then. 509 00:44:06,063 --> 00:44:06,897 Irving? 510 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:46,645 All right, Irving. 511 00:44:47,479 --> 00:44:51,400 What I'd like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. 512 00:44:52,985 --> 00:44:58,991 Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. 513 00:45:00,659 --> 00:45:04,663 Just relax your body and be open to the facts. 514 00:45:05,455 --> 00:45:08,584 Try to enjoy each equally. 515 00:45:09,918 --> 00:45:13,130 These facts are not to be shared outside this room. 516 00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:17,885 But for now, they're yours to enjoy. 517 00:45:23,390 --> 00:45:25,350 Your outie is generous. 518 00:45:27,978 --> 00:45:31,899 Your outie is fond of music and owns many records. 519 00:45:33,650 --> 00:45:39,448 Your outie is a friend to children and to the elderly and the insane. 520 00:45:41,491 --> 00:45:45,704 Your outie is strong and helped someone lift a heavy object. 521 00:45:47,748 --> 00:45:53,420 Your outie attends many dances and is popular among the other attendees. 522 00:45:54,755 --> 00:46:01,720 Your outie likes films and owns a machine that can play them. 523 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:08,894 Your outie is splendid and can swim gracefully and well. 524 00:46:10,395 --> 00:46:11,605 I'm sorry. 525 00:46:12,481 --> 00:46:15,067 Please try to enjoy each fact equally, 526 00:46:15,734 --> 00:46:18,403 and not show preference for any over the others. 527 00:46:18,987 --> 00:46:21,990 That's ten points off. You have 90 points remaining. 528 00:46:22,074 --> 00:46:24,284 - Points? - Please don't speak. 529 00:46:32,042 --> 00:46:34,628 Your outie won a game two weeks ago. 530 00:46:36,046 --> 00:46:38,632 Your outie values water. 531 00:46:39,925 --> 00:46:44,638 A photo of your outie with a trophy was once in a newspaper. 532 00:46:46,265 --> 00:46:50,602 Your outie has no fear of muggers or knaves. 533 00:46:52,563 --> 00:46:55,607 Your outie likes the sound of radar. 534 00:46:58,193 --> 00:47:03,073 Your outie is skilled at kissing and lovemaking. 535 00:47:05,909 --> 00:47:06,910 I'm sorry. 536 00:47:06,994 --> 00:47:09,913 Please don't respond to any specific fact. 537 00:47:09,997 --> 00:47:11,790 That's ten points off. 538 00:47:11,874 --> 00:47:14,084 - I was just-- - Please don't speak further, 539 00:47:14,168 --> 00:47:18,005 or all remaining points will be deducted and the wellness session will end. 540 00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:36,815 Okay. 541 00:47:57,753 --> 00:47:59,254 - Is it just the elevators? - What? 542 00:47:59,338 --> 00:48:01,673 With the code detectors. Or is it the stairwells too? 543 00:48:01,757 --> 00:48:03,675 Jesus. Stairwells too. Why? 544 00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,969 If no one accepts the resignations, 545 00:48:06,053 --> 00:48:07,846 what makes you think they're being delivered at all? 546 00:48:07,930 --> 00:48:10,224 You gotta let the info-smuggling notion go. 547 00:48:10,307 --> 00:48:11,558 Okay, but how good are the scanners? 548 00:48:11,642 --> 00:48:14,811 Like, what if you wrote the letters funky, like one of those robot tests? 549 00:48:14,895 --> 00:48:16,772 - Hi, kids. What's for dinner? - Nope! 550 00:48:16,855 --> 00:48:18,106 How was wellness? 551 00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:20,067 Great. Very restorative. 552 00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,944 I met the O&D department head. 553 00:48:22,027 --> 00:48:26,198 Burt? I've met that guy. He's a fuck. You didn't tell him where we are, did you? 554 00:48:26,281 --> 00:48:28,367 Burt's not a fuck. And no. 555 00:48:28,450 --> 00:48:30,577 I'm asking for the safety of this department. 556 00:48:30,661 --> 00:48:32,120 - I don't need to tell you-- - That's a myth. 557 00:48:32,204 --> 00:48:34,039 And don't pretend you care about this department. 558 00:48:34,122 --> 00:48:35,749 You just want your waffle party. 559 00:48:35,832 --> 00:48:38,794 Beg-fucking-pardon. We're supposed to like the perks. 560 00:48:38,877 --> 00:48:42,881 "And all in Lumon's care shall revel in the bounty of the incentives spur." 561 00:48:42,965 --> 00:48:45,676 Don't pervert a handbook passage to me, okay? 562 00:48:45,759 --> 00:48:46,927 - Don't do it. - Hey, guys? 563 00:48:47,010 --> 00:48:48,846 Lumon has been good to us, and it is feckless to-- 564 00:48:48,929 --> 00:48:49,930 Guys! 565 00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,731 That. 566 00:49:00,524 --> 00:49:01,525 Yep. 567 00:49:02,150 --> 00:49:03,694 Why is-- Why is it-- 568 00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:06,488 You okay. Just fence off the bad data like I showed you. 569 00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:08,448 Can you see the perimeter? 570 00:49:17,624 --> 00:49:19,042 And bin it. 571 00:49:31,263 --> 00:49:33,140 Boom. Fucking refined. 572 00:49:33,223 --> 00:49:35,392 All right, Helly. Hip, hip. 573 00:49:36,143 --> 00:49:39,146 They were scary. The numbers were scary. 574 00:49:56,997 --> 00:50:00,375 Here's the couch. I'll find you a sleeping bag. 575 00:50:01,251 --> 00:50:04,671 And you can use the shower if you want. 576 00:50:05,422 --> 00:50:06,840 What are you trying to say? 577 00:50:11,845 --> 00:50:13,138 Thanks for doing this, Mark. 578 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,517 Well, I, you know, figured my work self would be pissed 579 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,185 if I let you sleep in a greenhouse. 580 00:50:24,316 --> 00:50:25,317 Light's on the left. 581 00:50:53,011 --> 00:50:54,179 You okay in there? 582 00:50:54,263 --> 00:50:56,557 Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. 583 00:52:09,546 --> 00:52:10,672 Petey, are you okay?