1 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,307 Who are you? 2 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,152 Who are you? 3 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,717 Hello? 4 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,269 I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. 5 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,313 Hi there, you on the table. 6 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,650 I wonder if you'd mind taking a brief survey. 7 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:08,944 Who is that? 8 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,487 Five questions. 9 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,864 Now, I know you're sleepy, 10 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,325 but I just bet it'll make you feel right as rain. 11 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,828 Who's speaking? 12 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,380 Oh, God. 13 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:40,517 Hey! Open the door! 14 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,694 I'd be just thrilled to chat once we've run the survey. 15 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,030 Shall we begin with question one? 16 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,908 I'm not taking your survey. 17 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,328 Shall we begin with question one? 18 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,124 Let me out of here. 19 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,086 Hey! 20 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174 Open the door! 21 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,134 Fuck. 22 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,096 Hey! Let me out! 23 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,246 Hey. 24 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,040 Hello. 25 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,167 Five questions? 26 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,753 Five questions. 27 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,339 What do I get at the end? 28 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,301 Depends on your answers. 29 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,764 Okay. 30 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,016 Great. Off we go. 31 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,019 Now to start, who are you? 32 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,522 That's the first question? 33 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,399 First name will do. 34 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:25,873 I don't… 35 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,417 It's okay. 36 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,545 If you can't answer the question, feel free to say, "unknown." 37 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,089 What is this? 38 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,424 Okay, unknown. 39 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:39,761 Question two, in which US state or territory were you born? 40 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:42,014 - Wait. - Which state or territory, please? 41 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,183 - I don't know. - Unknown. 42 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:48,437 Question three, please name any US state or territory. 43 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,897 - Fuck. I-- - First that comes to mind. 44 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,858 - I don't know. Delaware. What is this? - Delaware. 45 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:57,070 Question four, what is Mr. Eagan's favorite breakfast? 46 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,864 I don't-- That one makes no sense. 47 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,325 Right? Unknown. Question five. 48 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,994 And as a reminder, this is the final question. 49 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,370 To the best of your memory, 50 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:09,416 what is or was the color of your mother's eyes? 51 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,686 Okay, what's hap-- What's happening? 52 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,146 Unknown. 53 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:37,110 So that's unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown, unknown. 54 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,905 What the hell did you do to me? 55 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,001 That's a perfect score. 56 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,495 Are you ready for Mr. Scout? 57 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,421 Thank you. 58 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,134 Go ahead. 59 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:32,929 Mr. Scout. 60 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,014 Hi, Judd. 61 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,528 - All right, see you this evening. - Yep, see you soon. 62 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,886 - You're breathing shitty. - Sorry. 63 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,137 You sick? 64 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,390 Maybe. Petey was sniffling yesterday. 65 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:23,851 If you breathe on me, I'll rip your larynx out. 66 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,353 Wow. That went right to ten. 67 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,647 I feel like ripping out my germ-ridden larynx 68 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,358 would get you sicker than just me breathing on you. 69 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,068 Nah. Endorphins. 70 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,781 Petey better not be out for the day, 'cause I'm about zero seconds 71 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,701 from wrapping the Tumwater file, and he needs to process it. 72 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,369 I think he's out. 73 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:47,040 If he doesn't process today, they won't know until Tuesday of next week. 74 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,751 - It's typical Lumon bullshit. - Careful, guy. 75 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,129 Hi, kids. What's for dinner? 76 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,047 Goddamn it, Irv. We warned you. 77 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:55,716 About the greeting? You were kidding. 78 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:59,761 No, we sincerely hate it. How many reasons did we come up with? 79 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,723 - Eight. - Eight reasons. 80 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,267 Chief among them the latent condescension. 81 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,854 And it's confusing. Like, did the kids make you dinner in this scenario? Or-- 82 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,939 Yeah. What kind of a shit dad are you? 83 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,526 - No Petey? - We think he's sick. 84 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,446 Oh, no. And Dylan's about to wrap Tumwater today. 85 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,072 Yeah, and if he doesn't see me finish, 86 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,158 I might get passed over for refiner of the quarter 87 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,951 and miss out on my goddamn waffle party. 88 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:26,079 Grumble, grumble. These perks are so out of hand. 89 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:28,081 When we'd process a file in the old days, 90 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,958 they'd shake our hand and fill up the creamer. 91 00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,377 I still don't buy they actually incentivized creamer. 92 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,297 They did. And back then, we were grateful for it. 93 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,049 That's fucked, dude. 94 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,759 Yes, very fucked. 95 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:43,388 To put in an honest day's work and not get a children's breakfast in return. 96 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:45,766 Irv's got claws today. 97 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,269 Good morning, Macrodata Refinement. 98 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:50,562 Hi, Mr. Milchick. 99 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,315 Mark, could I have a word? 100 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:26,557 Last time you saw Ms. Cobel, she was in her old office. 101 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,100 Now she's in her new office. 102 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,352 It's a completely different office. 103 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,354 What's this about? 104 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:33,897 She'd never say so, 105 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,817 but I know a compliment about the office would just make her day. 106 00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,247 Mark? Come in. Shut the thing. 107 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,291 Nice office. 108 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,042 It's horrid. 109 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,920 Yeah, the old one was better. 110 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,847 You look awful. You look hungover. 111 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:09,266 Have a seat. 112 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,024 The Board will be joining us remotely today. 113 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,362 I have Mark S. at my desk. 114 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:33,874 Hello. You-- 115 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,215 I assume this is about me acting as department chief today. 116 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:44,468 Okay. Well… I mean, 117 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,679 I've subbed for Petey before, so it shouldn't be that big a thing. 118 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:50,933 Petey is no longer with this company. 119 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,060 I'm sorry? 120 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:59,900 I said, Petey is no longer with this company. 121 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:04,279 I'm sorry, Mark. You guys were one of my favorite office friendships. 122 00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:10,077 I mean, there should have been some notice of this. What happened? 123 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,286 We'd love to tell you, 124 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,331 but unfortunately, non-disclosure policy forbids. 125 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,167 We'd be aiding an assault on Petey's privacy by you. 126 00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:25,133 Mark, would you place your key card on my desk? 127 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,142 Mark S., at this time I confer upon you the freedom to serve Kier 128 00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:37,896 in the advanced role of Macrodata Refinement department chief. 129 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,231 Congratulations. 130 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:52,119 A handshake is available upon request. 131 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,085 Thank you. May I have a handshake? 132 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:11,054 I know you haven't run a training before, but Irving will be there to shadow. 133 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:15,601 Just stick to the flowchart and escalate properly depending on dialectics. 134 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:16,685 You'll be fine. 135 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,646 - If you need to take a few minutes-- - Thank you. I don't. 136 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:26,653 And thank you to the Board as well. 137 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:33,493 The Board won't be contributing to this meeting vocally. 138 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,256 Our last refiner, who was a woman, was-- 139 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:47,883 Carol. Dylan's old seat. 140 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,012 Don't be sad. 141 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,723 I'm fine. We'll be fine. 142 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,683 I know you and Petey were close. 143 00:16:56,767 --> 00:17:00,103 He was the only one who really appreciated your humor. 144 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:04,107 Everything's fine. So, I'm supposed to start with just the input survey? 145 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,400 Isn't that a little weird? 146 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,527 It's standard. 147 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:09,946 Just start at 1A and continue by line, based on her answers. 148 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,031 Well, what if I just talk to her? 149 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:15,661 She deserves to have the information presented to her in the proper order. 150 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,162 Just as you had. 151 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:22,960 "If the trainee becomes agitated and demands to leave, skip to page 19." 152 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,964 She has to ask three times for you to let her. 153 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,924 Right. Yes. 154 00:17:33,971 --> 00:17:35,639 Image is good. 155 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,058 She looks nice. 156 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,811 Okay. You're all set. 157 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,942 I just love seeing you all come in like this. 158 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,153 Go on ahead when you're ready. 159 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,367 - All right. - Okay. 160 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,041 There you go. 161 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,004 Who are you? 162 00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:17,598 All right. 163 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,018 Who are you? 164 00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:27,941 - Mark. - What? 165 00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:29,526 You skipped the preamble. 166 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,153 Hello? 167 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:32,696 Shit! 168 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,827 I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. 169 00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,916 - That's it. - Okay. 170 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,793 Hi there, you on the table. 171 00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:49,546 I wonder if you'd mind taking a brief survey. 172 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:52,674 Who is that? 173 00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:54,927 Five questions. 174 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,220 Now, I know you're sleepy, 175 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:59,348 but I just bet it'll make you feel right as rain. 176 00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:02,351 Who's speaking? 177 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,394 "Who's speaking?" 178 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:18,659 Hey! Open the door! 179 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:20,035 Mark. 180 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,913 I'd be just thrilled to chat, once we've run the survey. 181 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,206 Shall we begin with question one? 182 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,250 I'm not taking your survey. 183 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,922 Shall we begin with question one? 184 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,049 Let me out of here. Hey! 185 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,264 - Open the door! - She's not supposed to do that. 186 00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:41,849 Hey! 187 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,225 She's going to break in. 188 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,893 - Let me out! - No, she's not. 189 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,479 Are you seeing this? 190 00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:49,982 I'm watching. 191 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,442 Should I help? 192 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,445 You should not. 193 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,538 That's a perfect score. 194 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,626 Now, I think I know where our disconnect is coming from. 195 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:13,255 - What? - Well, there was a preamble, 196 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,883 which I was supposed to read before the survey, 197 00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:18,510 to lead into the questions and… 198 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,222 But I unfortunately skipped that and went straight into the survey. 199 00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:23,348 Am I livestock? 200 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,350 I'm sorry? 201 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:30,522 Like, did you grow me as food and that's why I have no memories? 202 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:38,197 You think we grew a full human, gave you consciousness… 203 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,865 - I don't know. - …did your nails and-- 204 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,200 I don't know. I don't know you. 205 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,493 No, you're not livestock. Good Lord. 206 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:45,579 Then what's my name? 207 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,123 Helly. 208 00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:51,251 Your name is Helly. Helly R. 209 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:53,670 Please. 210 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,187 Thank you for taking the welcome survey. 211 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:14,274 I can sense that the questions made you feel afraid or disoriented. 212 00:21:14,358 --> 00:21:18,695 Well, the good news is, you're at an orientation. 213 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,955 You see, you have been hired to a position 214 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:31,083 on the severed floor of Lumon Industries. 215 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:32,835 The what floor? 216 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:48,559 I understand you're confused about the severance procedure. 217 00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,853 Before we hop on that, 218 00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:55,607 let's chat about something I bet you have heard of, the work/life balance. 219 00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:58,652 To start, imagine yourself as a seesaw. 220 00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:02,531 Fuck! 221 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,700 That locks from out there! 222 00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:06,159 - Let me out! - God! 223 00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:12,207 Can we just take a beat? Please. 224 00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:25,304 Please. 225 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:49,203 Okay, my name's Mark. 226 00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:53,790 And-- So, I-- 227 00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:56,376 You know, few years back, I woke up on this table. 228 00:22:57,002 --> 00:22:58,045 In this room. 229 00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:03,884 And a disembodied voice asked me 19 times who I was. 230 00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:09,223 And when I realized I couldn't answer, 231 00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:14,728 I told that voice that I would find him and kill him. 232 00:23:16,647 --> 00:23:19,566 I don't know why I said that. I mean, I was scared too. 233 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,152 Did you kill the voice? 234 00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:24,863 No. 235 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:30,118 No, that voice's name was Petey, and he became my best friend. 236 00:23:32,204 --> 00:23:35,749 So, look, you know, there is a life to be had here, Helly. 237 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,293 A life to be had? 238 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:53,809 Well, you see, life, like a seesaw, requi-- 239 00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:58,313 Let me the fuck out of here! 240 00:24:07,948 --> 00:24:10,826 - Ask me again. - What? 241 00:24:10,909 --> 00:24:14,830 You've asked twice to be let go. Ask one more time. 242 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:17,875 - Mark. - Yeah? 243 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:21,253 I would like to leave the building now. 244 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:26,675 I understand you don't feel it's working out for you here at Lumon. 245 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:30,345 While disappointed, I'd hate to keep you somewhere you're not happy. 246 00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:33,390 So, let's get you outta here. 247 00:24:39,855 --> 00:24:40,856 Irv. 248 00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:07,424 The departments are pretty spaced out, but it'll all fill in one day. 249 00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:09,218 They're planning an expansion. 250 00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:11,637 And I'm, what, part of that? 251 00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:14,431 No. You're a replacement. 252 00:25:15,224 --> 00:25:16,517 Replacement for who? 253 00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:20,103 Why are you saying that like you hate it? 254 00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:29,696 Here's your stairwell. Just past the bend. 255 00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:38,163 You're not coming with me? 256 00:25:38,247 --> 00:25:39,665 I'm not allowed to see. 257 00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,250 Excuse me? 258 00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:42,751 Well, once you leave, you-- 259 00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:45,838 I just can't watch you leave. 260 00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:54,388 Of course you can't. 261 00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:29,590 What the hell? 262 00:27:21,892 --> 00:27:23,477 - Am I dead? - No. 263 00:27:24,102 --> 00:27:26,480 - This isn't, like, hell or something? - No. 264 00:27:27,648 --> 00:27:29,358 Then why the fuck can't I leave? 265 00:27:29,441 --> 00:27:32,236 Well, you did leave, just now. Out into the stairwell at least. 266 00:27:32,319 --> 00:27:34,696 You left, but you came back. 267 00:27:35,781 --> 00:27:37,366 - I did not. - You did. 268 00:27:38,325 --> 00:27:39,326 Come on. 269 00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:45,666 Weaponizing office equipment on your first day. 270 00:27:46,834 --> 00:27:49,127 You are gonna be fun. 271 00:27:49,837 --> 00:27:51,672 Look, I do sympathize. 272 00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:56,760 I've wanted to pummel Mark myself, but I am his employer. 273 00:27:56,844 --> 00:27:58,887 And he is your department chief. 274 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,266 So we'll both have to be strong. 275 00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:07,104 The good news is, there's only one part left of your orientation, 276 00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:10,315 which Mark can't possibly derail. 277 00:28:11,108 --> 00:28:12,359 Why is that? 278 00:28:12,943 --> 00:28:14,862 Because it's a video. 279 00:28:22,369 --> 00:28:24,538 Welcome to Lumon, Helly. 280 00:28:50,439 --> 00:28:51,732 Have a seat. 281 00:29:10,709 --> 00:29:12,085 Are you mad at me? 282 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:17,633 For the incompetence or the disobedience? 283 00:29:18,842 --> 00:29:20,677 - Well-- - Yes! 284 00:29:22,471 --> 00:29:24,848 You know, my mother was an atheist. 285 00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:29,186 She used to say that there was good news and bad news about hell. 286 00:29:29,770 --> 00:29:31,188 The good news is, 287 00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:36,693 hell is just the product of a morbid human imagination. 288 00:29:36,777 --> 00:29:37,778 The bad news is, 289 00:29:39,363 --> 00:29:43,283 whatever humans can imagine, they can usually create. 290 00:29:47,621 --> 00:29:49,164 I don't know what that means. 291 00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:54,628 A department like yours can go so good or so bad. 292 00:29:55,379 --> 00:29:57,297 You know what makes the difference? 293 00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:05,180 The people. 294 00:30:16,692 --> 00:30:17,985 You can have a seat. 295 00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:34,543 Okay, go ahead and have a seat. 296 00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:45,429 My name is Helly R. 297 00:30:47,764 --> 00:30:48,932 I'm making this video 298 00:30:49,016 --> 00:30:53,187 roughly two hours before it will be shown to me. 299 00:30:55,147 --> 00:30:58,483 I have, of my own free accord, elected to undergo the procedure 300 00:30:58,567 --> 00:31:00,485 colloquially known as severance. 301 00:31:02,321 --> 00:31:07,409 I give consent for my perceptual chronologies to be surgically split, 302 00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:11,663 separating my memories between my work life and my personal life. 303 00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:13,957 I acknowledge that, henceforth, 304 00:31:14,041 --> 00:31:18,128 my access to my memories will be spatially dictated. 305 00:31:19,421 --> 00:31:21,965 I will be unable to access outside recollections 306 00:31:22,049 --> 00:31:24,968 whilst on Lumon's severed basement floor, 307 00:31:25,052 --> 00:31:27,513 nor retain work memories upon my ascent. 308 00:31:29,932 --> 00:31:33,185 I am aware that this alteration 309 00:31:33,268 --> 00:31:36,188 is comprehensive and irreversible. 310 00:31:37,773 --> 00:31:39,441 I make these statements freely. 311 00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:47,699 Okay, that's a wrap. 312 00:31:54,831 --> 00:31:55,832 Okay. 313 00:31:56,917 --> 00:31:57,918 Go ahead. 314 00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:18,272 So I'll never leave here? 315 00:32:20,524 --> 00:32:21,817 You'll leave at 5:00. 316 00:32:22,317 --> 00:32:25,487 Well, actually, they stagger our exits, so 5:15. 317 00:32:26,697 --> 00:32:29,867 But it won't feel like it. Not to this version of you anyway. 318 00:32:31,577 --> 00:32:32,911 Do I have a family? 319 00:32:33,954 --> 00:32:35,289 You'll never know. 320 00:32:36,874 --> 00:32:38,584 And I have no choice. 321 00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:45,007 Well, every time you find yourself here, it's because you chose to come back. 322 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:14,077 Hello. 323 00:33:52,199 --> 00:33:53,325 Good night. 324 00:33:53,408 --> 00:33:54,409 Good night. 325 00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:46,043 "Dear Mark, Whilst carrying boxes in a room today, 326 00:34:46,128 --> 00:34:48,505 you slipped on an overhead projector slide 327 00:34:48,589 --> 00:34:52,176 and sustained a minor blow to the temple." 328 00:35:20,287 --> 00:35:21,496 Hey! 329 00:35:22,164 --> 00:35:23,749 Sorry. 330 00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:26,960 Maybe keep your eyes on the icy road. 331 00:35:29,838 --> 00:35:30,839 Sorry. 332 00:36:30,566 --> 00:36:34,570 Indeed, this gnat will spend much of its three to seven-day life… 333 00:36:52,504 --> 00:36:56,925 No, I know, Mrs. Selvig. It's just, it was in my space again. 334 00:36:57,759 --> 00:37:01,513 Yeah. Well, trash comes tomorrow night. Tonight's recycling. 335 00:37:02,514 --> 00:37:05,642 Yeah, it is weird, but that's how they do it. 336 00:37:05,726 --> 00:37:08,061 And with both yours, there's no room for-- 337 00:37:25,746 --> 00:37:26,997 - Hey. - Hey. 338 00:37:31,210 --> 00:37:32,211 Did you forget? 339 00:37:37,174 --> 00:37:38,759 Oh, yeah. Shit. 340 00:37:38,842 --> 00:37:39,843 That's okay. 341 00:37:40,844 --> 00:37:41,845 - Sorry. - That's fine. 342 00:37:41,929 --> 00:37:44,640 - Do you wanna put on pants, and I'll… - I'm wearing pants. 343 00:37:44,723 --> 00:37:46,517 …meet you in-- Those are not pants. 344 00:37:47,893 --> 00:37:51,730 So if there's no dinner, how is it dinner? 345 00:37:51,813 --> 00:37:52,940 - Okay. - Like-- 346 00:37:53,649 --> 00:37:55,317 You actually owe me this. 347 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,944 - Do I? - Yep. 348 00:37:57,027 --> 00:38:00,322 You remember that time when we were kids and I was a way better sibling than you? 349 00:38:00,822 --> 00:38:02,866 Must have slipped my mind. 350 00:38:04,326 --> 00:38:06,745 Also, I know we're nearing the anniversary, 351 00:38:06,828 --> 00:38:08,705 so I just thought maybe you'd wanna be around people. 352 00:38:10,123 --> 00:38:11,124 Nope. 353 00:38:13,168 --> 00:38:15,462 This is nice. When did you get it? 354 00:38:15,546 --> 00:38:17,756 Something from work, and they apologized. 355 00:38:18,382 --> 00:38:19,800 They apologized. Thank God. 356 00:38:20,843 --> 00:38:22,761 Did they tack an explanation onto that apology? 357 00:38:22,845 --> 00:38:25,180 It's fine. Got a gift card. 358 00:38:25,764 --> 00:38:28,475 You got a gift card. Where's he going to? 359 00:38:29,518 --> 00:38:30,644 I don't know. Pip's. 360 00:38:31,270 --> 00:38:34,147 Of course it's Pip's. Well, enjoy. 361 00:38:34,231 --> 00:38:36,024 I will, without you. 362 00:38:45,284 --> 00:38:46,743 There's our captive. 363 00:38:46,827 --> 00:38:49,246 - Hi, Rick. - Ricken. Come on, it's Ricken. 364 00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:52,416 - You, sir, look at peace. - You know. 365 00:38:53,125 --> 00:38:54,334 - Okay. - Hi, baby. 366 00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:55,419 Hi. 367 00:38:56,170 --> 00:39:00,757 No, what a lot of people overlook, I think, is that life is not food. 368 00:39:00,841 --> 00:39:02,551 - Right. - You've got life, 369 00:39:02,634 --> 00:39:06,054 this complex quality of sentience and activity. 370 00:39:06,138 --> 00:39:08,932 And then you've got food, which is what? 371 00:39:09,016 --> 00:39:10,392 - Yes, what is it? - Fuel. 372 00:39:11,018 --> 00:39:13,353 Calories. It's not the same thing. 373 00:39:13,437 --> 00:39:15,814 - Yes, that is spot on, Patton. - I definitely agree. 374 00:39:15,898 --> 00:39:17,566 Though, if I'm… 375 00:39:17,649 --> 00:39:22,863 Sorry, Mark and my dad used to have "whiskey is life" carved on a flask. 376 00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:26,325 - True. - It was low-hanging fruit. 377 00:39:26,408 --> 00:39:28,785 He did. He was a misdiagnosed alcoholic. 378 00:39:28,869 --> 00:39:32,247 Now, Mark, Ricken told Rebeck and me that you're a former history professor. 379 00:39:32,331 --> 00:39:33,332 Yeah. 380 00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:35,792 So I'm curious for your take on all of this. 381 00:39:37,211 --> 00:39:39,213 The food v life of it. 382 00:39:41,340 --> 00:39:44,885 Well, I'm not sure. I taught mostly about World War I. 383 00:39:44,968 --> 00:39:47,095 Okay. Well, I got one for you. 384 00:39:47,179 --> 00:39:48,931 I was just reading this think piece 385 00:39:49,014 --> 00:39:52,768 about the comparative levels of violence and warfare throughout history. 386 00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:54,394 Nerd alert. 387 00:39:54,478 --> 00:39:55,896 War porn, I know. 388 00:39:56,980 --> 00:40:02,444 But anyway, in it, he said that the people actually called it the Great War. 389 00:40:03,028 --> 00:40:05,697 Apparently, it would have been a faux pas to have called it World War I. 390 00:40:06,281 --> 00:40:07,616 Is that right? 391 00:40:11,411 --> 00:40:16,792 Well, you know, no one would've called it World War I 392 00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:20,212 'cause World War II hadn't happened yet. 393 00:40:21,463 --> 00:40:23,090 - Wow. - Of course. 394 00:40:23,173 --> 00:40:24,591 - That's absolutely right. - Duh. 395 00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:26,343 That's so true. 396 00:40:26,426 --> 00:40:27,970 This is why we bring this guy. 397 00:40:28,929 --> 00:40:32,516 Mark's late wife, Gemma, was an educator as well. Russian literature. 398 00:40:32,599 --> 00:40:34,518 - I love literature. - Right? 399 00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:37,688 But Mark is a Lumon man now. 400 00:40:37,771 --> 00:40:39,106 - Ricken. - Really? 401 00:40:39,189 --> 00:40:41,066 Yeah. About two years. 402 00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:43,110 - Do you design the medicines? - No. 403 00:40:43,193 --> 00:40:45,863 I thought Lumon was more on the tech side of things. 404 00:40:45,946 --> 00:40:47,739 - They began in the 1800s. - Really? 405 00:40:47,823 --> 00:40:49,616 Topical salves, right? 406 00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:50,784 What don't they make? 407 00:40:51,743 --> 00:40:54,454 Yeah, but I'm in the corporate archives division, so… 408 00:40:54,538 --> 00:40:56,790 So you know all the dirty secrets. 409 00:40:57,332 --> 00:40:59,126 - No, not really. - No. 410 00:40:59,209 --> 00:41:03,338 Mark's work is sensitive enough as to require the severance procedure. 411 00:41:07,843 --> 00:41:08,844 Well. 412 00:41:10,762 --> 00:41:12,264 That's something, isn't it? 413 00:41:14,016 --> 00:41:17,311 Yeah. It's also, I think, something that's his choice to tell people or not. 414 00:41:17,394 --> 00:41:18,854 - Right, Ricken? - Oh, my God. 415 00:41:18,937 --> 00:41:20,814 - No. No. - Oh, God, Mark. 416 00:41:20,898 --> 00:41:22,566 - Please forgive me. - No. It's okay. I don't care. 417 00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:25,694 - My apologies. - No, I think it's fascinating. 418 00:41:25,777 --> 00:41:27,446 I mean, I wish I could do it. 419 00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:31,909 I'd just always be thinking about, you know, the other one. 420 00:41:34,786 --> 00:41:37,748 Well, there is no other one. 421 00:41:38,624 --> 00:41:40,709 It's me. I do the job. 422 00:41:40,792 --> 00:41:44,922 I just don't grasp the visceral element. What does it feel like? 423 00:41:48,175 --> 00:41:51,553 Well, it's simple. One's memories are bifurcated, 424 00:41:51,637 --> 00:41:54,973 so when you're not at work, you have no recollection of what it is you do there. 425 00:41:55,057 --> 00:41:56,058 Did I get that right, Mark? 426 00:41:56,141 --> 00:41:58,936 - Well, it's-- - So you walk in at 9:00 a.m., 427 00:41:59,019 --> 00:42:01,605 and then suddenly it's 5:00, and you're leaving? 428 00:42:01,688 --> 00:42:04,233 - Well, they stagger us a little, so-- - They stagger you? 429 00:42:04,316 --> 00:42:07,569 And then, conversely, when you're at work, you can't access outside memories. 430 00:42:07,653 --> 00:42:11,323 So, in effect, that version of you is trapped there. 431 00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:13,575 Well… 432 00:42:13,659 --> 00:42:16,203 - Well, I mean, not trapped, but-- - But what? 433 00:42:20,290 --> 00:42:24,253 No, no. I'm curious. What were you gonna say? But not trapped, but what? 434 00:42:27,130 --> 00:42:28,131 What were you saying? 435 00:42:32,261 --> 00:42:35,055 So I suppose we know where you fall on the congressional goings-on. 436 00:42:35,138 --> 00:42:36,431 Okay, I think we may be 437 00:42:36,515 --> 00:42:37,641 - missing the point here. - Yeah. 438 00:42:39,309 --> 00:42:41,979 The point is that Mark made a decision. 439 00:42:42,062 --> 00:42:43,814 And that decision was controversial, 440 00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:47,150 ethically and socially. 441 00:42:47,734 --> 00:42:50,487 Morally. Scientifically. 442 00:42:51,530 --> 00:42:54,950 But, Mark, I stand behind you 443 00:42:55,576 --> 00:42:56,785 without reservation. 444 00:42:56,869 --> 00:42:58,495 - So well said. - Thank you. 445 00:42:58,579 --> 00:43:00,998 - Absolutely. - I definitely stand behind Mark. 446 00:43:02,124 --> 00:43:03,125 Wow. 447 00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:07,087 Thank you. That's very sweet. 448 00:43:07,963 --> 00:43:10,382 Well, we're at the point where, traditionally, 449 00:43:10,465 --> 00:43:12,509 I would say something like, "Dig in." 450 00:43:13,886 --> 00:43:16,471 But I must say, I do think that the lack of food 451 00:43:16,555 --> 00:43:21,101 has allowed us to already do so on a much deeper level. 452 00:43:21,185 --> 00:43:23,020 - Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. - Right? 453 00:43:23,103 --> 00:43:25,981 I was saying, my friend in Lima hasn't had a food-based dinner event in-- 454 00:43:27,608 --> 00:43:30,277 If I give you $3,000, will you forgive me? 455 00:43:31,570 --> 00:43:36,491 Well, because your child is innocent of tonight's atrocities, 456 00:43:36,575 --> 00:43:40,037 I'll wait until after it's born to murder you. 457 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,540 Oh, my God. Here you go, buddy. 458 00:43:46,585 --> 00:43:47,586 Thank you. 459 00:43:52,508 --> 00:43:56,595 Hey, how's the good doctor therapy man with that weird little mustache? 460 00:44:01,517 --> 00:44:02,518 You're not going? 461 00:44:04,353 --> 00:44:06,813 Well, the work thing's helped. 462 00:44:08,148 --> 00:44:09,149 Yeah. 463 00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:13,529 I'm proud of you for taking that job. I really am. 464 00:44:14,738 --> 00:44:17,032 And I think she would've been too. I know she would've been. 465 00:44:20,327 --> 00:44:23,872 I just feel like forgetting about her for eight hours a day 466 00:44:23,956 --> 00:44:26,792 isn't the same thing as healing. 467 00:44:34,842 --> 00:44:36,677 You wanna crash here, since you're already here? 468 00:44:38,178 --> 00:44:39,179 No. 469 00:44:40,347 --> 00:44:41,348 Why? 470 00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:43,267 Your house smells like pregnancy. 471 00:44:47,062 --> 00:44:49,273 Yeah, I'm just not grasping the visceral element of it. 472 00:44:51,108 --> 00:44:52,526 She is fun, wasn't she? 473 00:44:53,110 --> 00:44:55,904 - You're definitely staying here tonight. - No, I'm not. 474 00:44:55,988 --> 00:44:57,906 I'm making all the bedsheets myself, 475 00:44:57,990 --> 00:45:01,034 so I won't finish with the big one for some time. 476 00:45:01,785 --> 00:45:04,288 But the twin is comfortable, 477 00:45:04,371 --> 00:45:07,124 and the pajamas were made on a Baltic handloom, 478 00:45:07,207 --> 00:45:09,585 so you'll sleep well. 479 00:45:10,127 --> 00:45:14,256 Thanks. I still don't quite get the three beds. 480 00:45:14,339 --> 00:45:16,341 - Right. - Ricken's colleague told us 481 00:45:16,425 --> 00:45:20,262 that switching out the beds as the child grows can wound that child. 482 00:45:20,345 --> 00:45:21,722 Irreparably. 483 00:45:21,805 --> 00:45:26,018 But if you provide said child with all of its beds upon birth, 484 00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:29,146 you allow it to progress across the room at its own rate. 485 00:45:29,771 --> 00:45:31,356 Got it. Yeah. 486 00:45:36,486 --> 00:45:37,487 Yeah. 487 00:45:38,572 --> 00:45:40,574 I think people really enjoyed you tonight, Mark. 488 00:45:42,826 --> 00:45:43,827 Good. 489 00:45:44,328 --> 00:45:45,537 All right, baby. 490 00:45:46,663 --> 00:45:47,748 - You ready, baby? - Yeah. 491 00:45:47,831 --> 00:45:48,916 - Let's go. - Sweet dreams. 492 00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:50,000 Thanks. 493 00:45:51,543 --> 00:45:53,045 Good night, milord. 494 00:45:53,128 --> 00:45:54,546 Good night, milady. 495 00:47:51,955 --> 00:47:52,956 Hey. 496 00:47:53,457 --> 00:47:54,458 Hey. 497 00:47:54,958 --> 00:47:55,959 How long you been up? 498 00:47:56,543 --> 00:47:57,669 A while. 499 00:48:00,923 --> 00:48:04,468 There was a businessman in the yard last night. 500 00:48:04,551 --> 00:48:06,220 - A businessman? - Yeah. 501 00:48:06,303 --> 00:48:08,222 Entry-level or management? 502 00:48:08,305 --> 00:48:09,306 I'm serious. 503 00:48:09,890 --> 00:48:11,600 There was seriously a man in my yard last night? 504 00:48:11,683 --> 00:48:12,935 Yeah. 505 00:48:13,519 --> 00:48:14,520 Holy shit. 506 00:48:15,646 --> 00:48:18,482 He, you know, looked at me weird, like he knew me. 507 00:48:19,024 --> 00:48:21,610 Did the prowler invading my home make you feel seen? 508 00:48:21,693 --> 00:48:22,945 So seen. 509 00:48:24,488 --> 00:48:27,282 Well, there's a bar down the hill. It's probably just a stumbler. 510 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,911 Speaking of which, you still smell like a distillery. 511 00:48:31,870 --> 00:48:35,332 I'm sorry, I just had to drown out the memory 512 00:48:35,415 --> 00:48:38,627 of Mom and Dad switching out my beds when we were kids. 513 00:48:39,211 --> 00:48:41,004 You've been sitting on that one. 514 00:49:32,514 --> 00:49:33,515 Hello. 515 00:49:35,058 --> 00:49:40,022 Okay. So, recycling was last night, Mrs. Selvig. 516 00:49:40,105 --> 00:49:41,398 Tonight's garbage. 517 00:49:41,481 --> 00:49:45,152 And you keep putting your bin on my side. So-- 518 00:49:47,154 --> 00:49:48,655 Yeah. Okay. 519 00:49:49,907 --> 00:49:53,202 You know, I actually can't talk right now. I'm out at dinner. But-- 520 00:49:54,786 --> 00:49:56,288 No, by myself. 521 00:49:59,041 --> 00:50:01,502 Pip's Bar and Grille. 522 00:50:02,544 --> 00:50:03,629 Excuse me. 523 00:50:05,214 --> 00:50:07,424 Hang up. Quickly. 524 00:50:12,513 --> 00:50:15,724 I'm sorry, Mrs. Selvig. They've cooked the food, and it's here. 525 00:50:18,018 --> 00:50:20,938 Hi, kids. What's for dinner? 526 00:50:26,026 --> 00:50:28,820 I'm sorry. You don't get that reference. 527 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:33,700 Are you following me? 528 00:50:34,701 --> 00:50:36,245 Your voice is different here. 529 00:50:37,204 --> 00:50:38,288 Worse. 530 00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:42,918 - Okay, who the fuck are you? - Petey. 531 00:50:43,001 --> 00:50:45,337 My name is Petey. I'm from work. 532 00:50:47,631 --> 00:50:51,510 Well, that's not plausible. Everyone in my department is-- 533 00:50:51,593 --> 00:50:54,513 Severed. Severed. I was. 534 00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:58,559 Okay. Well, severance is pretty permanent. 535 00:50:58,642 --> 00:51:02,312 Yeah. Bypassing the implant wasn't easy. I had help. 536 00:51:15,450 --> 00:51:18,120 So, what, you were unhappy at work? 537 00:51:18,203 --> 00:51:20,789 - And instead of lodging a complaint, you-- - No. 538 00:51:21,498 --> 00:51:24,585 I tried that first. So did you. 539 00:51:26,420 --> 00:51:29,506 Right. Okay. So… 540 00:51:30,966 --> 00:51:32,426 You've unsevered. 541 00:51:32,509 --> 00:51:37,306 And now you, what, think they're after you or something? 542 00:51:41,101 --> 00:51:42,102 Yeah. 543 00:51:45,439 --> 00:51:49,610 "They" being Graner, who's probably out here right now. 544 00:51:49,693 --> 00:51:54,323 Graner. Okay. Is that, like, a person you know or… 545 00:51:54,406 --> 00:51:57,701 We both know him. We don't like him. 546 00:51:59,286 --> 00:52:00,287 I see. 547 00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:10,506 Nothing down there is what they say. 548 00:52:12,049 --> 00:52:13,759 If something happens to me, 549 00:52:14,718 --> 00:52:18,180 the things I know need to stay known. 550 00:52:20,682 --> 00:52:22,559 I'd prefer it be by a friend. 551 00:52:28,190 --> 00:52:30,692 So, we're friends? 552 00:52:32,194 --> 00:52:33,570 I'm your best friend. 553 00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:36,740 You're my very good friend. 554 00:53:12,109 --> 00:53:14,820 Mark, sorry about the card. 555 00:53:15,863 --> 00:53:18,198 I had to grab something, and I know it's not appropriate. 556 00:53:18,282 --> 00:53:21,493 Though I'm sure you'd be a really fucking awesome niece. 557 00:53:23,745 --> 00:53:27,291 We used to wonder what kind of men we were on the outside, 558 00:53:27,916 --> 00:53:30,627 what choices we had made and why. 559 00:53:37,384 --> 00:53:39,344 I used to think it would take a monster 560 00:53:39,428 --> 00:53:41,805 to put someone in a place like that office. 561 00:53:43,599 --> 00:53:46,143 Especially if the person was himself. 562 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:52,941 But we're not monsters, Mark. Not real ones. 563 00:53:55,694 --> 00:53:59,740 If you don't wanna know what's going on down there, I won't force it. 564 00:54:02,326 --> 00:54:06,330 But if you do, there's an address on the back of this card. 565 00:54:08,332 --> 00:54:13,128 Go alone, and you'll find the beginning of a very long answer. 566 00:54:34,733 --> 00:54:37,069 Mark, is that you? 567 00:54:37,152 --> 00:54:38,445 Hi, Mrs. Selvig. 568 00:54:39,905 --> 00:54:44,201 Will you color me embarrassed for the mix-up with the bins? 569 00:54:44,284 --> 00:54:45,577 No, it's no problem. 570 00:54:46,787 --> 00:54:47,788 How was dinner? 571 00:54:48,789 --> 00:54:51,750 Fine. I'm just, you know, tired. 572 00:54:53,460 --> 00:54:56,004 You know, my mother was a Catholic. 573 00:54:56,088 --> 00:55:01,802 She used to say it takes the saints eight hours to bless a sleeping child. 574 00:55:02,678 --> 00:55:05,055 I hope you aren't rushing the saints. 575 00:55:06,139 --> 00:55:09,560 Well, I'll give them ample time tonight. 576 00:55:11,144 --> 00:55:12,646 Good night, Mrs. Selvig. 577 00:55:12,729 --> 00:55:13,730 Mark. 578 00:55:16,900 --> 00:55:18,610 You're good people.