0 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,102 ##[ Chorus Singing ] 1 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,175 [ Tires Screeching ] 2 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,336 D'oh! [ Screams ] 3 00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:15,537 - [ All Grunting ] - [ Lisa Wails ] 4 00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:16,945 [ Homer Yells ] 5 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,026 Mail call.! Gather round, everyone.! 6 00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,462 All right, one for ''Resident.'' 7 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:34,999 - That's me! - Well, that's it. 8 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,831 One stinkin' letter? Why'd you make us gather round like that? 9 00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:40,132 I needed my power fix. [ Sighs ] 10 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,140 [ Marge ] Hey, listen to this. 11 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,142 ''Congratulations! 12 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,145 ''Your child, or children, have been selected to appear... 13 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:51,013 ''in Who's Who Among American Elementary School Students. 14 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,982 [ Gasps, Belches ] 15 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,986 ''Please submit their names... 16 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:58,717 along with $95 for each handsome volume you wish to order.'' 17 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,725 Oh, I've never been so proud! 18 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,658 [ Kissing ] 19 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:05,560 You both deserve a big, big reward! 20 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,566 Mom, they put every kid in America in that book... 21 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,568 just so gullible parents will buy it. 22 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:13,833 - It's all a big scam. - [ Muttering ] Shut up. 23 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:18,240 Are you sure? I can usually smell a scam from two towns over. 24 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:21,905 Yeah, Lise. She is a smart, sophisticated woman. 25 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,916 Now, let's hear more about that big, big reward. 26 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,282 Yeah, Quit stalling, Marge. We want our reward. 27 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,916 One reward coming up! 28 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,753 [ Marge ] Ta-da.! 29 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,384 - [ Lisa ] Yea! Way to go! - [ Bart ] All right! 30 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:42,131 [ Grunts ] Man, it feels good to get out of that car. 31 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,328 Ooh! Go Karts! Come on, everybody! Let's go! 32 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,837 [ Laughing ] Look at me, Bart! 33 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,539 - I'm driving! - We're all proud of you, Dad. 34 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,982 Move it, pokey. 35 00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:00,143 Slow and steady wins the race. 36 00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,650 ## [ Humming ] 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,854 Easy, easy. Stick with the plan. 38 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,697 - Whoa! - Uh, are you all right, man? 39 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,237 Uh, I think so. 40 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,239 - How about now? - [ Screams ] 41 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,241 Ha-ha! 42 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:26,244 That was no accident. Shame on you, Nelson. 43 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,314 Cram it, ma'am. 44 00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:33,049 Stand back and watch the pro. 45 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,611 - Shouldn't you put on a batting helmet? - Nah. They mess up my hair. 46 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:43,156 [ Grunts ] Ooh! Ball one. 47 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:45,788 [ Grunts ] Ball two! 48 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,958 [ Chuckles ] This bozo's gonna walk me. 49 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,900 Hey! You're goin' down, you- 50 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,406 [ Groaning ] 51 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,999 Why, you-Aah! Hey, you- [ Grunts ] 52 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,545 You better-Aah! I'm gonna-Aah! 53 00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,171 If you do- D'oh! 54 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,285 Hang in there, Dad! Just half a basket left! 55 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:05,546 Hang in there, Dad! Just half a basket left! 56 00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,756 Hmm. 57 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,094 - [ Bell Ringing ] - [ Lisa ] Yes.! A Maggie-oop.! 58 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,132 - [ Buzzing ] - Mm-hmm. 59 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,098 Hey, that's cheating! 60 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,035 ## [ Humming ] Hmm! 61 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:30,970 Okay, what can I get for 1 2- count 'em- 1 2 prize tickets? 62 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,671 Two thumbtacks and a mustache comb. 63 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,943 Or five rubber bands and an ice cube. 64 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,985 What can I get for 8,000 tickets? 65 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,213 A BB gun or an Easy-Bake oven. 66 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,688 Hmm. Hot food is tempting. 67 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,692 But I just can't say no to a weapon. 68 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,794 [ Gasps ] 69 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,730 Whoa! Can I try that sometime? 70 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,667 Yeah, sure. Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun. 71 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,671 Wow, thanks, Nelson. I'll come by your house later! 72 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:04,709 Oh, no, you won't. You stay away from Nelson Muntz. 73 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:08,542 - But, Mom- - Nelson's a troubled, lonely, sad little boy. 74 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:11,242 He needs to be isolated from everyone. 75 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,342 - But, Mom- - Yes? 76 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,284 That's all I got. 77 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:17,754 So, what prize did you end up getting? 78 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,417 - Mustache comb. What'd you get? - Fake mustache. 79 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:23,120 - Wanna comb it? - [ Groans ] This sucks. 80 00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:25,993 Time to punch out of this yawn factory. I'm going to Nelson's. 81 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,590 - But Mom said not to. - She doesn't scare me. 82 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,760 I do what I want when I want. 83 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,838 Oh, God! Inchworms! 84 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,038 Won't you get in trouble if your mom sees you doing that? 85 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,043 Nah. My mom's got bigger problems. 86 00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:42,239 - She doesn't give a crap what I do. - Wow, you are so lucky. 87 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,475 Come on. Let's lock and load. 88 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:48,076 - You're not going out without a scarf, are ya? - Nah, I don't need one. 89 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,883 Hmm. It's your health. 90 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,920 - Think I can hit that bottle? - Yeah, probably. 91 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,862 Shows what you know. 92 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,057 Hey, check this out. 93 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,937 That's my dad's shootin' car. 94 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,564 Just three more payments and it's ours. 95 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,838 - Oh, cool. Can I get a shot now? - Hang on! 96 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:15,573 - First, how about I try and peg you in the stomach? - Mmm, no, thanks. 97 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:19,140 Or what about you put on these nerd glasses and I shoot 'em off? 98 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,982 No way! Come on! Quit hoggin' the gun! 99 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,750 [ Chirping ] 100 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:29,521 - Bet you can't hit that bird. - Are you crazy? I don't want to shoot a stupid bird. 101 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,529 That's 'cause you know you can't. 102 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,758 You're not a superstud like me. 103 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:35,697 - Am too! - Are not! 104 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,667 You're an octo-wussy. 105 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:42,503 ''Whoa, look at me! I'm Bart Simpson! I'm scared to use a gun! 106 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:45,839 I want to marry Milhouse. I walk around like this-'' 107 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,845 # La la la-la la # 108 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,710 Hey, quit it! 109 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,911 Hmm. 110 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,049 [ Chirping ] 111 00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:59,852 [ Whimpering ] 112 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,534 - Oh, my God. - Whoa! 113 00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:13,036 Major shot! You even compensated for the crooked sight. 114 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,039 Crooked sight? 115 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,269 You are one cold-blooded killer, dude. 116 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,903 But- But I wasn't- I didn't- 117 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,173 Right through the neck! 118 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:26,183 [ Whistles ] 119 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,753 Doesn't get any sweeter than that, Simpson. 120 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:31,551 - Savor the moment. - [ Sighs ] 121 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,359 - ## [ Humming ] - I rolled up all the socks. 122 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,363 - [ Gasps ] - What's next? 123 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:43,196 - While I deal with this, why don't you start on that basket? - All right. 124 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,169 Ohh! I hate folding sheets. 125 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:47,796 That's your underwear. 126 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,808 Well, whatever it is, it's a two-man job. Where's Bart? 127 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,276 He's up in his room. Bart! 128 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:55,279 It's okay, Marge. I'll get him. 129 00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,611 Bart! 130 00:06:57,717 --> 00:07:01,813 - What the heck's going on? - We need Bart to help fold your father's underpants. 131 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,321 - Where is he anyway? - Bart? 132 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,619 Uh, he went to play with a friend. 133 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,819 He didn't go to Nelson's, did he? 134 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,386 No, no. I'm pretty sure he's with Milhouse. 135 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,400 Milhouse! 136 00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:18,367 [ Milhouse Shouting ] What? 137 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,531 Tell Bart to come home! 138 00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:25,008 I think he's at Nelson's.! 139 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,909 Who's Nelson? 140 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,914 Nelson? 141 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,850 I explicitly forbade Bart from playing with that little monster. 142 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,854 Oh, Bart is in deep, deep trouble. 143 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,226 Oh, yes, and punish Lisa for lying to us. 144 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,522 -[ Door Slams ] - All right, young lady. 145 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:48,293 March yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer. 146 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,369 Get a little somethin' for yourself, sweetheart. 147 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,099 Shall we bury it or chuck it into a car full of girls? 148 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,107 Hey, leave it alone! 149 00:07:56,209 --> 00:08:00,043 - Okay, okay! Don't kill me, killer. - Don't call me that! 150 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,944 Relax, Simpson. It was either him or you. 151 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,949 No court would convict you. 152 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,679 [ Gavel Banging ] 153 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:13,191 Bart Simpson, do you know why you have been summoned before this tribunal? 154 00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:16,125 Yes, sir. Because I killed an innocent bird. 155 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:20,666 Dear Lord! We just wanted you to put fresh newspaper on the tribunal floor! 156 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,666 We're knee-deep in our own droppings. 157 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,668 It's disgusting. 158 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:29,571 But since you've confessed to birdslaughter, we have no choice but to peck your face off. 159 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,166 - No! Not the face! - [ All Squawking ] 160 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:36,339 [ Screaming ] 161 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,350 [ Groans ] Oww! What are you doing? 162 00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,920 I got bored, so I started slapping you. 163 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,989 [ Gasps ] Uh-oh. 164 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:49,723 - [ Gasps ] - Young man, you're coming home with me this minute. 165 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,593 All right! Finally, a real home! 166 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,928 Not you. Bart. 167 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,628 Oh. See ya later, killer. 168 00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,035 ''Killer''? Why did he call you killer? 169 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:03,336 Mom, you were right. Nelson is bad news. Can we go home? 170 00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:05,603 - What are you hiding there? - [ Cats Yowling ] 171 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,612 - Nothing. - What are those cats doing behind you? 172 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,911 - [ Yowling Continues ] - Uh, cats like me? 173 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,986 [ Gasps ] Get- Get off. Get off. 174 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,384 [ Yowling Continues ] 175 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,389 [ Gasps ] Bart! 176 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,959 Did you kill that poor bird? 177 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,518 I didn't mean to, Mom. The gun pulled to the left- 178 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,498 You disobeyed me, snuck over here and murdered a helpless animal? 179 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:32,298 I know. I really screwed up. I deserve to be punished. 180 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,305 What's the point, Bart? 181 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:38,844 I punish and I punish and I punish, but it never sinks in. 182 00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,436 So you know what? Do what you want. 183 00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:45,540 You wanna play with little hoodlums? Fine. Have fun killing things. 184 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,414 Mom, wait! 185 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,358 [ Whimpers ] 186 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,917 - [ Sizzling ] - ## [ Humming ] 187 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:05,833 Oh, my God. 188 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,838 Hi, little eggs. 189 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:12,434 I'm not sure how to tell you this, but your mom was involved in an incident. 190 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,810 Mistakes were made... by me. 191 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:19,043 But don't worry. I'll take care of you. 192 00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:26,650 ##[ Theme ] 193 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:29,193 Hi, I'm Troy McClure. 194 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:33,493 You may remember me from such nature films as Earwigs- Eew.!.. 195 00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:37,330 and Man vs. Nature- The Road to Victory. 196 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:43,535 In all the animal kingdom, no mother is more devoted than the blue jay. 197 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,941 Valuing her eggs above even her own life... 198 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:50,607 the mother bird bravely fights off such fearsome predators as the badger and the mongoose. 199 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,616 - [ Shrieking ] - [ Chittering ] 200 00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,118 Of course, one thing mother blue jay can't defend against... 201 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,121 is a set of steel tongs. 202 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,054 [ Squawks ] 203 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,718 Eggs. Precious eggs. 204 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,285 If they're to survive, they require the gentle warmth and tender love... 205 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,298 that only a mother can provide. 206 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,062 Or better yet, a 7 5-watt bulb. 207 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:14,204 Oh, hello. 208 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:17,935 In a few days our eggs will hatch into nestlings, like these over here. 209 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,944 They look awfully hungry, Mr. McClure. 210 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,946 They sure are, Billy. 211 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:25,245 In nature, their mother would regurgitate food for them to eat. 212 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,444 - That's gross! - [ Laughs ] 213 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,453 It sure is, Billy. 214 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,523 It sure is. 215 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,585 ##[ Theme Ends ] 216 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,220 [ Murmuring ] 217 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:44,829 You've checked this Bible out every weekend for the last nine years. 218 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,531 Wouldn't it be easier to just buy one? 219 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,768 Perhaps on a librarian's salary. 220 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,313 Hey, fellas, good news. I found an extra 7 5-watt bulb lying around. 221 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,688 ## [ Whistling ] 222 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,762 - [ Clicks ] - D'oh! [ Screaming, Groaning ] 223 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:16,100 ##[ Whistling ] 224 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,501 Check it out, guys. I've been working on this regurgitation thing. 225 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,165 [ Retching ] 226 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,936 Oh, yeah! Hope you like Pop-Tarts. 227 00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,239 I think I'll call you Chirpy Boy. 228 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,246 And you, BartJunior. 229 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,248 And you can call me Mother. 230 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,285 No, wait, that sounds kinda fruity. Just call me Mom. 231 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,127 [ Gasps ] 232 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,200 [ Sighs ] 233 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,427 ## [ Whistling ] 234 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:53,505 - [ Clicks ] - D'oh! [ Screaming, Groaning ] 235 00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,705 [ Growling, Yowling ] 236 00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,142 [ Yowls ] 237 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,150 [ Whimpers ] 238 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,220 [ Blubbering ] 239 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:13,455 - [ Can Opens ] - What do you think he's doing up there? 240 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,959 - I don't know. Drug lab? - Drug lab? 241 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,656 Or reading comic books. What am I, Kreskin? You tell me what he's doing. 242 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:24,202 I don't know, and I don't want to know. And I'm going to find out. 243 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,203 Oh! 244 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,741 My good gray extension cord. [ Grumbles ] 245 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,708 Oh, no! 246 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,178 Gotta keep these warm. 247 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,917 Bart, stop whatever you're doing and come down here. 248 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,920 Can't right now. Come back later. 249 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,354 Oh, I'll come back later. 250 00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,421 How's this for later? 251 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:53,430 - Mom, listen- - Why are you sitting like that? What are you hiding this time? 252 00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,500 [ Whimpers ] 253 00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,397 - Eggs? - That bird I killed was their mother. 254 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,567 I don't want her babies to die too. 255 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,212 [ Groans ] 256 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,214 Ohh- Oh, honey. 257 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,807 Oh, come here. 258 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,853 [ Gasps ] Oh, my goodness! Look! 259 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,946 [ Gasps ] 260 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,824 Oh, man! 261 00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:25,989 This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's comet collided with the moon. 262 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,295 - That never happened, Dad. - Sure it didn't. 263 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,870 Is the nest still warm enough, Mom? 264 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:37,272 Hmm. It's starting to cool down. I'll bake another pie. 265 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,644 Ooh, how about cherry this time? 266 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:44,045 And would it kill you to make some coffee? 267 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,049 Why is this taking so long? 268 00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:48,676 Bart was born in about five minutes. 269 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:51,517 Actually, it took 53 hours. 270 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,991 - Really? Well, the time just flew by, didn't it? - [ Groans ] 271 00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:01,756 - Everybody come quick! They're hatching! - Hmm? 272 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:05,663 [ Lisa Gasps ] 273 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,041 - I see a foot. - I see an eye! 274 00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:11,769 - I see a neck! - I see a horn! 275 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,640 A horn? 276 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,643 [ All Sigh ] 277 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,515 - [ Both Hissing ] - [ All Gasping, Screaming ] 278 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,857 [ Bart ] Man, those are some funky lookin'birds.! 279 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,889 Oh! You look like a little tiny dinosaur. 280 00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,795 Oww! 281 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,800 That is one vicious baby bird! 282 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:38,802 Dad, they aren't birds. 283 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:42,032 Sure, they are. They came from eggs in a bird's nest, therefore they're birds. 284 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,836 ''Ickso fatso.'' 285 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,401 One- they don't have beaks. Two- they don't have feathers. 286 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,141 - And three- they're lizards! - You're a lizard! 287 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,683 Enough bickering. I know how to settle this. 288 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,685 - No kickboxing. - Ohh. 289 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,279 If anybody wants me, I'll be eating alone in the basement. 290 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:02,156 - [ Click ] - D'oh! [ Screaming, Groaning ] 291 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:09,498 Now, uh, people, there's been some confusion about our bird-sighting rules. 292 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:14,231 You cannot count birds that you've seen at the zoo, on stamps or in dreams. 293 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:17,002 Well, I'm back to square one. 294 00:16:18,043 --> 00:16:20,671 - [ Cooing ] - Mmm. 295 00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:23,339 My God! A pigeon! 296 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,883 That's the last bird on my list. 297 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,715 [ Chuckles ] So long, suckers. 298 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,657 Excuse me. Can you tell us what kind of birds these are? 299 00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,659 - They hatched from eggs I found in a nest. - [ Gasps ] 300 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:39,663 Good heavens! I'm very glad you brought those in, Bart. 301 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:42,666 I'll just get those killed and you can be on your way. 302 00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:46,829 - [ Gasps ] Wait! What the heck are you doing? - My civic duty, that's what. 303 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,839 ''Bolivian tree lizard''? 304 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,136 Mm-hmm. It's a vicious ovoraptor. 305 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,235 It feasts on bird eggs and lays its own eggs in the nest. 306 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,247 The unsuspecting mother bird cares for them until the babies hatch... 307 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,408 and... devour her too. 308 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,850 [ Laughs ] What a chump! 309 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:05,321 It's already wiped out the dodo, the cuckoo and the ne-ne... 310 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:09,588 and it has nasty plans for the booby, the titmouse, the woodcock and the titpecker. 311 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,219 How vile. 312 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,230 The one thing that mystifies me is... 313 00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:16,199 how a Bolivian lizard made it to Springfield. 314 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,734 [ Clears Throat ] That is a puzzlement. 315 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,766 [ Grunting ] 316 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,439 Ah. ## [ Humming ] 317 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,380 - [ Shrieks ] - Mmm? 318 00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,577 Mmm. 319 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:37,655 Look, Skinner, we haven't got all day. 320 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,656 Kill the horrid beasts. 321 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:42,454 - Then do away with their lizards. - No, don't hurt them! 322 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,462 - I'll just keep 'em as pets. - No, they might escape and breed. 323 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,464 The law is very clear on this. 324 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,694 They must be exterminated as quickly and gruesomely as possible. 325 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,966 - [ Whirring ] - No! They're mine! 326 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,337 I'm sure we can work this out. 327 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,775 He's just a child. Let me talk to him. 328 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:03,780 I'll give you a moment. That'll give us time to prepare for the splatter. 329 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:10,183 Bart, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. 330 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:13,190 Your lizards are banned by federal law. 331 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,192 Everyone thinks they're monsters. 332 00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,195 But I raised them and I love them. 333 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,322 I know that's hard to understand. 334 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,833 Mmm. Not as hard as you think. 335 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,538 - Run for it. - Really? 336 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:39,308 Okay, that's exactly one moment. 337 00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:42,046 And- Oh, my God! He's getting away! 338 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,418 - [ Gasping, Murmuring ] - Stop him! 339 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,583 - Out of the way, Midge. - Oh, am I in the way? 340 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:51,026 Yes, yes, you're in the way! Are you daft, woman? 341 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,690 Sorry. I didn't realize I was in the way. 342 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,700 You're still in the way. You don't seem to be moving at all. 343 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,270 Oh, for cryin' out loud, just knock her ass down. 344 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,464 - [ Moe ] Way to shove, Edna. - [ Apu ] Let us roll. 345 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,973 Guys, is it really true? 346 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,101 Are you cold-blooded egg murderers? 347 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:11,304 Don't use that look on me. I invented that look. 348 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,882 There he is, off in the distance! 349 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:19,048 - [ Whimpering, Panting ] - [ Smithers ] He's getting away.! 350 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,118 - [ Gasps ] - Okay, Bart. 351 00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:27,130 This is where it ends. Relinquish the lizards. 352 00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:30,360 - [ Gasping ] - I said relinquish. 353 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,994 - Aah! - [ Both Grunting ] 354 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,767 - [ Marge Gasps ] - [ Grunting Continues ] 355 00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,707 Oh! Oh, no! 356 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,412 You killed 'em! 357 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,381 - [ Groans ] - Good riddance to bad lizards. 358 00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:54,885 Hmm? Hey! Whoa! Look at 'em! 359 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,893 Go, Chirpy Boy! Go, BartJunior! 360 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,758 Oh, nuts! 361 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,890 Wow. Did you know they had those webbed flaps for gliding? 362 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,628 Yes. But I was hoping they didn't know that. 363 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,169 Well, I hope you're happy, Bart. 364 00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:17,840 You have no idea what kind of plague you've unleashed upon this town. 365 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,251 Our top story: 366 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:24,584 The population of parasitic tree lizards has exploded... 367 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:27,158 and local citizens couldn't be happier. 368 00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:31,093 It seems the rapacious reptiles have developed a taste for the common pigeon... 369 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:34,290 also known as the feathered rat, or gutterbird. 370 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,300 For the first time, citizens need not fear harassment... 371 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,962 by flocks of chattering disease-bags. 372 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,143 For decimating our pigeon population... 373 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,840 and making Springfield a less oppressive place... 374 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,348 to while away our worthless lives... 375 00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:56,217 I present you with this scented candle. 376 00:20:56,321 --> 00:21:00,018 - [ All Cheering ] - Yeah! All right! 377 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,958 Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend. 378 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,188 But isn't that a bit shortsighted? 379 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,664 - What happens when we're overrun by lizards? - No problem. 380 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:12,225 We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. 381 00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:15,500 - They'll wipe out the lizards. - But aren't the snakes even worse? 382 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,507 Yes, but we're prepared for that. 383 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,578 We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. 384 00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:23,580 - Then we're stuck with gorillas! - No, that's the beautiful part. 385 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,879 When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death. 386 00:21:26,985 --> 00:21:28,885 Hmm. 387 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:32,081 I'm proud of you, boy. 388 00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,648 [ Sniffs ] Mmm. Loganberry. 389 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:38,286 I don't get it, Bart. 390 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:41,298 You got all upset when you killed one bird... 391 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,665 but now you've killed tens of thousands and it doesn't bother you at all. 392 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,704 Hey, you're right. 393 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,706 - I call the front seat! - You had it on the way over! 394 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,708 - Hey! - [ Both Grunting ] 395 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,937 [ Bart ] Out of my way.! Oww.! 396 00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,393 - [ Murmuring ] - Shh! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net