0 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,236 ##[ Chorus Singing ] 1 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,918 [ Bell Ringing ] 2 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,851 [ Whistle Blowing ] 3 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,230 [ Beeping ] 4 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,871 ## [Jazzy Solo ] 5 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,859 [ Beeping ] 6 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:05,124 [ Tires Screeching ] 7 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,165 D'oh! [ Screams ] 8 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:12,827 ## [ Humming ] 9 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,583 [ Homer's Voice ] Hey, Bart-Bart... 10 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:30,384 looks like a beautiful day to swipe some ''pic-i-nic'' baskets. 11 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:33,015 [ Bart's Voice ] But, ''Homi,'' Ranger Ned's not gonna like that. 12 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,185 I'll handle Ranger Ned. 13 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,787 After all, I'm smarter than the average bear. 14 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:41,298 Well, hello there, Ho-didilly-omi. 15 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,995 Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to hand over that- 16 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,004 [ Shouting ] 17 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,269 Gee, Homi, it's not very nice to maul Ranger Ned. 18 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,605 - You want some of this? - Uh-uh. 19 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,339 - [ Shouting ] - [ Groaning ] 20 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,347 [ Growling ] 21 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,508 - Dad, wake up! Wake up! - Dad, wake up! 22 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,781 [ Moans ] I was having the most wonderful dream. 23 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:04,322 I had a hat and a tie, with no pants on. 24 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,120 Yeah, yeah. Anyway, you promised to take us to the lake. 25 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:10,628 I promise you lots of things. That's what makes me such a good father. 26 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,925 Actually keeping promises would make you a good father. 27 00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:15,967 - No, that would make me a great father. - So Are we going to the lake? 28 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,731 Yes, we'll go to the darn lake. 29 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,432 Now go back to bed. It's 4:00 a.m. 30 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:26,336 Aw, 4:00 a.m.? Now I'll never get back to- [ Snoring ] 31 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,244 ## [ Singing Cartoon Theme Song ] 32 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,251 Hey, you shouldn't have oughta taken my banana, Mr. Peebles. 33 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,548 [ Roars, Hoots ] 34 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,393 - [ Horns Honking ] - [ Marge ] Wow.! 35 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,088 It looks like the lake is the place to be, huh? 36 00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:47,100 Well, if we'd left at 4:00 a.m like I wanted to- 37 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:47,725 Well, if we'd left at 4:00 a.m like I wanted to- 38 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,859 Dad, you really should be watching the road. 39 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,267 - Hey, Homer. Enough traffic for you? - [ Neck Cracks ] 40 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,602 - Homer, your spine. - [ Cracks ] 41 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:57,005 Hey, pfft. Screw this. 42 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,943 Hang on, everyone. We're taking the old Simpson shortcut. 43 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,173 - [ Tires Squeal ] - [ Homer] So long, suckers. 44 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,944 [ Bart ] Whoa! 45 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:08,214 [ Chuckles ] Eat my dust, suckers. 46 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,619 [ Marge ] Stop calling everyone suckers. 47 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,317 ## [ Homer Scatting ] 48 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,553 Hmm. [ Chomps ] 49 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,392 Ugh! Pesticides. [ Chomps ] 50 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,523 Carbamate, if I'm not mistaken. 51 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,533 Yep. Carbamate. 52 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,762 - [ Marge ] Tree! - I see it. 53 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,864 Hmm. This is such a secluded area. 54 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,569 I wonder who lives in that house. 55 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,908 [ Homer ] Way out in the sticks like this? 56 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,913 It could only be hillbillies. 57 00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:38,074 So I suppose that's a hillbillyJacuzzi. 58 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,812 Yep. That's where they cook up their vittles. 59 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,285 [ Chattering ] 60 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,358 [ Laughs ] 61 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,795 - [ Rod And Todd Giggling ] - Hey, here come the Simpsons. 62 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,856 Now be careful, Homer. There's a fella in the sand right in front of you. 63 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,868 [ Shouts ] 64 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,201 Okay, remember where we parked. 65 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:02,240 [ Ned ] Homer, is that my muffler? 66 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,709 There you go. And I assume you've read the boat safety manual. 67 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:09,179 Oh, yeah. Couldn't put it down. Come on, boy. Let's get me a six-pack. 68 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:12,479 Uh, sir, you can't operate a boat under the influence of alcohol. 69 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,712 Oh, that sounds like a wager to me. 70 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,289 - Life jackets? - Check. 71 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,357 - Tow rope? - Secure. 72 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,255 - Skier? - Ready. 73 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,294 Here we go. 74 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,829 She's down. 75 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,832 - Oh, look at it go. - Stay there, honey. 76 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,902 We'll come back for you. 77 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,264 [ Screams ] 78 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,542 - How's he doing? - I don't know. 79 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,774 I think Dad might be a little heavy for parasailing. 80 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:46,511 Faster, Marge! Faster. The snapping turtles are massing. 81 00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,587 - Heads up! Coming through. - [ Clamoring ] 82 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,554 Hey, volleyball. Can I play later? 83 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,626 Hi, Apu. 84 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:57,628 Oh, dear. You have ruined my work, you flying fat man. 85 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,630 - [ Screeching ] - [ Clamoring ] 86 00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:01,199 Hey! 87 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,360 [ Sighs ] 88 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,839 Step on it, Mom. Dad's signaling that he wants to go higher. 89 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,341 [ Gurgling ] Higher. 90 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,639 [ Spits ] Bye-bye, ''fishies.'' 91 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,340 Higher. Higher! 92 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,280 I'm soaring- 93 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:21,717 Soaring majestically, like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft. 94 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,880 Higher, Marge. Higher! 95 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,083 - It won't go any. - Higher, I say. 96 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:29,218 I wanna soar higher than any man has ever soared. 97 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,230 I wanna look down on the clouds with contempt. 98 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,562 I wanna sneer at God's creation... 99 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,635 and spit on his- Uh-oh. 100 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:41,563 [ Whimpering ] Lower! Lower! 101 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,542 - There goes my turn. - [ Whimpering ] 102 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,772 This is not good. 103 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,475 [ Whimpers, Gasps ] Aw, nuts. 104 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,677 [ Shouting ] 105 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,957 [ Buzzing ] 106 00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,754 Huh? What? Oh, already? 107 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,126 - [ Woman Gasps ] What the hell- - Sorry, lady. 108 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,495 [ Gasps ] I know you. You're Kim ''Basin-jer.'' 109 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,864 - It's Basinger. - Oh, my God. 110 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,267 I'm such a huge, huge fan of yours, Miss ''Basin-jer.'' 111 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,272 Thanks. Um, listen. 112 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:18,174 - You think you could slide over a little? - Well, I am a married man. 113 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:21,405 - You're crushing my husband. - [ Man Groans ] 114 00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:23,448 [ Gasps ] Billy Baldwin! 115 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,779 I'm Alec Baldwin. Could you get off me? 116 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,513 So what are you two kids doing in my neck of the woods? 117 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,851 - Well- - Wait! Tell me over breakfast. 118 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,255 Who's for pancakes? 119 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,423 Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital, Mr. Simpson? 120 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,557 You had an awful lot of glass in you. 121 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,567 Oh, I don't want to be a bother. 122 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:46,797 Anyway, what are you two big Hollywood stars doing in good old Springfield? 123 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,999 Sometimes we need to get away from Hollywood. 124 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,008 L.A. is just so phony. 125 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,704 Well, why don't you just move to, say, Bethesda? 126 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,839 - Not phony enough. - What we really like here is the privacy. 127 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:59,440 Most people don't even know where Springfield is. 128 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,578 Yeah. Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure. 129 00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:04,656 We're trying to keep a low profile. 130 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,657 We don't even go to the supermarket. 131 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,250 Yeah, we've been living off congratulatory muffin baskets. 132 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,627 Blech! Zucchini. 133 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:16,361 - Don't just put that back in the basket. - I'm gonna eat it later. 134 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,937 You shouldn't have to survive on dry, crumbly muffins from... 135 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,233 ''the Gersh Agency.'' 136 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,831 You should let me do your shopping. 137 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,537 I know where I can get you some great muffins. 138 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:29,274 - No more muffins. - Okay, fine. 139 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,316 But I could do all kinds of stuff for you. 140 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,351 I notice that skylight in your bedroom's broken. 141 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,445 Yeah, I'm not sure we need an assistant, Mr. Simpson. 142 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,547 Please. Homer. Come on. 143 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:42,094 If you let me hang around a while, I can do all kinds of stuff for ya. 144 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,493 Well, we are down to our last roll of toilet paper. 145 00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,157 And I have been brushing my teeth with hair gel for a week. 146 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,166 I suppose we could give it a try. 147 00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:51,964 - Yeah, you owe me that much. - Okay, you're on. 148 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,699 But look- Nobody knows we're in Springfield, and we wanna keep it that way. 149 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,707 Will you promise to keep our secret? 150 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,902 Absolutely, if you promise to keep mine. 151 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,775 - Okay. What is it? - I can't read. 152 00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,406 But you just read that card from the Gersh Agency. 153 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,485 I recognized the logo. 154 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,419 ## [ Whistling ] 155 00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,456 Homie, are you okay? 156 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:14,424 We've been lookin' all over for you, Dad. Where did you land? 157 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:17,928 - Nowhere famous. - Where'd you get that muffin? 158 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,930 Gersh Agency. 159 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:29,436 Apu, I'm about to purchase some weird and fruity items, and I don't want any guff. 160 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,533 First of all, I'll need the following mushrooms: 161 00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:32,611 - Portobello. - Yes. 162 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:33,474 - Porcini. - Right. 163 00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:34,944 - Chanterelle. - Uh-huh. 164 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:38,983 - And Shiitake. - Okay. We have none of those. What is next? 165 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:43,044 A gallon of wheatgrass juice, a five-pound wad of tofu, some jellied zinc... 166 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:46,181 and a couple of pairs of $600 sunglasses. 167 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,557 Mr. Simpson, these exotic items are suspiciously different... 168 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,755 from your usual order of beer and pork. 169 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,389 - What gives? - Uh, nothing, nothing. 170 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,559 I'm just broadening my horizons. 171 00:08:56,669 --> 00:09:00,196 By the way, do you have extra-wide bumper stickers for a Humvee? 172 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,711 Wow. You got everything, Homer- Even the Oscar polish. 173 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,613 - [ Squeaking ] - Honey, why don't you give that thing a rest? 174 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,617 You're taking the finish off. 175 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:17,052 When you win one, you can take care of it however you want. 176 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,420 Whoo-hoo. Meow. 177 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,119 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - I'll get it. I'll get it. 178 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,063 - Yes? - Hi. I'm Ron Howard. 179 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,759 - Ron Howard? - Yeah. I'm looking... 180 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,836 for Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. 181 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,405 Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger? 182 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,373 Oh, hey, Ron. We heard you were looking for a place in Springfield. 183 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,740 Yeah, well, it's the only town in America that'll let me fish with dynamite. 184 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,938 Uh-What's with him? 185 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,573 Oh, that's just Homer. He's a new friend of ours. 186 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,881 Really? You giant stars consider me a friend? 187 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:52,549 Well, for the first time in my life I feel like I'm somebody. 188 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:55,422 Ronny, are you also my close friend? 189 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,759 [ Sniffs ] Do I smell vodka? And wheatgrass? 190 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,764 It's called a lawn mower. I invented it. 191 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:02,766 - You want one? - Yeah, okay. 192 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:05,701 - And I'll have a rum and zinc. - Ooh, I'll have one of those too. 193 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:10,401 - Hey, can I crash here tonight? - Sure. We'll all stay. 194 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:15,606 A cell phone? 195 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,649 Last Thursday's Variety? 196 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,843 - [ Door Closes ] - ##[ Whistling ] 197 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,477 [ Gasps ] I'll do that. You go upstairs and have a beer. 198 00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:25,216 Homer, when did you become a member of PETA? 199 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,122 Well, you know me. I love animals- 200 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,127 Beef, chicken, veal. 201 00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:33,596 If you're not part of the solution, Marge, you're part of the problem. 202 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,133 - That's not what PETA stand- - [ Ringing ] 203 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:38,601 - Imagine Films. - Hmm? 204 00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:41,639 A, uh, division of, um, Homer Co. 205 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,936 - ##[ Disco Beat ] - And lift. And strain. 206 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,943 And hyperextend. 207 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:49,344 Keep those knees rigid. Jerk that lower back. 208 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,542 Homer, I'm- I'm feeling some sharp pains in my neck. 209 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,620 That' right, force it. Whip that neck. 210 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,382 Um, does anybody know where this came from? 211 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,893 Oh, there's that movie script I wrote. 212 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,895 - Where did you find it? - On my pillow. 213 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,795 The important thing is, it's got the perfect part for you. 214 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,800 Either one of you. 215 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,870 It's about a killer-robot driving instructor... 216 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,735 who travels back in time for some reason. 217 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,774 Ron Howard's attached to direct. 218 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,810 - I am not. - Well, he expressed an interest. 219 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,811 - No, I didn't. - Did too. 220 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,006 - I did not. - You lie! 221 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:25,913 Yeah, Homer, um, most movie scripts are 1 20 pages. 222 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,986 This is only 1 7... 223 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,988 and several of the pages are just drawings of the time machine. 224 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,821 - So you're saying you don't want to star in my movie? - I'm sorry, Homer. 225 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:38,795 Well, if Alec is out, I'm out too. You're on your own, Potsie. 226 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:41,765 ''The Terminizer:An Erotic Thriller. '' 227 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,801 [ Chattering, Laughter ] 228 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,997 So I'm in the grocery store the other day, buying some cotton balls. 229 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,075 - The absorbent kind? - You got that right, my friend. 230 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,737 - [ Laughing ] - I round the corner and I head down the ointment aisle... 231 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,746 when who should I spot- 232 00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:57,907 None other than Kent Brockman. 233 00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,815 The local news guy? ''Mr. Channel 6''? 234 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,684 - [ Chattering ] - My God! What I'd give to meet him. 235 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,950 - Oh, they don't come much bigger than that. - [ Blows Raspberries ] 236 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,652 Kent Brockman? Please. 237 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,286 Oh, what? I suppose you've seen a bigger star. 238 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,889 - I might have. - Come on, make with a name. 239 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,367 [ Groans ] I can't. I promised I wouldn't. 240 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,572 You've got to keep our secret, Homer. 241 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,671 Homer, we're out of vodka. 242 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:32,307 Tell the people, Homer. They have a right to know... 243 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,352 about the celebrity summer house. 244 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,421 - Who the hell are you? - What do you care? 245 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,956 I'm telling you what you want to hear. 246 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,618 All right, I'm gonna let you guys in on something. 247 00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:45,788 But you've got to keep it much more secret than I did. 248 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,525 [ Grunts ] 249 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,124 - [ Grunts ] - [ Grunts ] 250 00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:54,070 Yes! In your freckled face, Howard. 251 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,199 - Unbelievable. - What? 252 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:59,209 Nothing, nothing. Good hustle. 253 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,644 - [ Rhythmic Rumbling ] - My God-The lemonade. Look at the lemonade. 254 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:10,085 - [ Rumbling Continues ] - Uh-oh. 255 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,282 [ Chattering ] 256 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:15,792 Hey, look at that. Isn't that something? 257 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,455 Quick- Everybody inside. 258 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,966 The shuttlecock- Where's the shuttlecock? 259 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:26,970 - [ Chattering ] - [ Panting ] 260 00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:29,666 [ Chattering Continues ] 261 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:34,338 Arr. I loved Splash, Mr. Howard. 262 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:39,145 - It was totally, uh, uh, arr. [ Chuckles ] - Uh, Miss Basinger? 263 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,015 Those red pumps you wore in L.A. Confidential were fabulous. 264 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:45,522 Where can I get a pair for my, uh, mother? She wears a 1 2 double-E. 265 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,787 Alec, Alec- Regarding that so-called silent propulsion system... 266 00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:50,794 in The Hunt for Red October- 267 00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,160 I printed out a list of technical errors... 268 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,199 which I think you'd enjoy discussing. 269 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:59,499 Somebody must have told them we live here. 270 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,470 I'm looking at you, Horshack. 271 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,804 Homer, how could you? 272 00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:06,400 Okay, okay, it was me. I'm sorry I blew your secret. 273 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,707 But you don't know what it's like to be a nobody. 274 00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,874 I just wanted to bask in your reflected glory. 275 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,452 Reflected glory! 276 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,283 Homer, you betrayed our confidence. 277 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:20,290 I just don't think we can be friends anymore. 278 00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:24,385 - But where will I bask? - Anywhere but here. 279 00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:27,226 Come on, Ron. We're not wanted here. 280 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,935 All right, I'll go. 281 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,971 But the next time you want someone to remind you which brother is which... 282 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,769 - or smell your hair while you're sleeping- - [ Gasps ] 283 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,744 just remember, old Homer won't be here anymore. 284 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,746 - [ Clamoring ] - [ Moe ] Hey, come on.! 285 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:44,873 [ Sideshow Mel ] Wait a minute. Somebody's coming out. 286 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:48,511 - Who is it? Is it anybody? - No, no. It's nobody. 287 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,680 Throw your stones. It's nobody. 288 00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:52,950 [ Clamoring ] 289 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:03,359 Oh, how could Alec and Kim just cut me out of their lives? 290 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,960 Homer, you haven't touched your food. 291 00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:11,401 When Kim makes a Manwich, she uses focaccia bread. 292 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,842 And would it kill you to put some fennel in it? 293 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:18,508 Alec Baldwin? Wow! That is the coolest person you've ever been fired by. 294 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,552 - What was it like at their house? - Oh, it was so great. 295 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,645 I didn't have to fake it with them. 296 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,224 I was actually excited to hear about their day. 297 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,419 - I washed the dog today. - Was it the dog from the Beethoven movies? 298 00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:32,986 - Of course not. - [ Groans ] Our dog isn't famous. 299 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,931 And you kids aren't exactly John and Joan Cusack. 300 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,902 And you-You couldn't open a movie if your life depended on it. 301 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,404 I'm about ready to ankle this family. 302 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:45,238 Ankle? Focaccia? What are you talking about? 303 00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:48,905 See? It's like we don't even speak the same language anymore. 304 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,711 The only one who understands me is that guy who married Martha Raye. 305 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:55,685 Don't blame us, Dad. The celebrities are the ones who canned you. 306 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,757 Hmm. She may not be famous, but she's right. 307 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,690 Those big-shot stars used me up and spit me out. 308 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,285 I did their laundry. Got their pictures developed. 309 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,296 Took their garbage to the dump. 310 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,526 And I still got a carful of their crap. 311 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,035 Crap, eh? 312 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,538 [ Chattering ] 313 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,269 Hey, is it too late to see the movie stars? 314 00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,573 No, no.Just, uh, hop that fence... 315 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,807 sneak up and, uh, peek in the window there. 316 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,816 All right. 317 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,818 - [ Crackling ] - [ Groans ] 318 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,286 [ Chuckles ] I never get tired of that. 319 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,289 [ Horn Honks ] 320 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,621 [ Homer On Loudspeaker ] Attention, starstruck fools. 321 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,821 Step right up and see the world's greatest mobile collection... 322 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,831 of Alec and Ron and ''Kim-o-rabilia.'' 323 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:44,164 - [ Chattering ] - Only five- No wait. Ten dollars. 324 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,898 - You heard right. Twenty dollars. - [ Lenny ] Homer, me first. Come on, man. 325 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,907 [ Chattering ] 326 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,603 [ Barney ] Oh! Hundred-year-old stuff. 327 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:55,407 Hey, it's Alec Baldwin's Medic Alert bracelet. 328 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:58,950 That's right, ''Mr. Tough Guy'' can't handle a little penicillin. 329 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,951 Oh, and look at this. 330 00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:06,286 We can't even pay our bills, and they're drinking Royal Crown Cola. 331 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:10,192 - Hey, hey. Go easy on the celebrities, huh? - Yeah. What gives you the right? 332 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,195 - Leave 'em alone. - We love celebrities. 333 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,857 Oh, yeah? What have they ever done for you? 334 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:18,926 When was the last time Barbra Streisand cleaned out your garage? 335 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:22,940 And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger? 336 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,942 I'll tell ya. 337 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,343 Ray Bolger is lookin' out for Ray Bolger! 338 00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,877 Oh, look. Wasn't that a fun weekend? 339 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,921 Yeah. Homer was a pretty good guy. 340 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,616 And we just tossed him out like a Golden Globe award. 341 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,523 I've got to admit, I miss the way he used to tuck us in... 342 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,528 and kiss us on the forehead. 343 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,565 - Forehead? - Oh, maybe I should have made his movie. 344 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,657 Yeah. It wasn't that bad. 345 00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,668 I mean, the script might even work... 346 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,704 if you got rid of the talking pie. 347 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,797 What, are you crazy? It's a buddy picture. 348 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,502 Without the pie, it would just be me on screen for two hours. 349 00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,510 Oh, yeah, and you'd hate that. 350 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:03,911 No, no, no. You can't lose the pie. The pie is your heart. 351 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,314 Okay, okay. Keep the damn pie. 352 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,909 The point is, we weren't fair to Homer. 353 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,922 He screwed up, but he deserves another chance. 354 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,992 Yeah. Everyone makes mistakes. 355 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,620 I mean, we'd want another chance if one of us ever made a bad film, right? 356 00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:20,323 [ Birds Singing ] 357 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,868 [ Ducks Quacking ] 358 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,575 I'm really looking forward to seeing Homer again. 359 00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,145 He always has the most interesting odors. 360 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,614 [ High-Pitched Voice ] Ooh, look at me. 361 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:40,583 I'm Kim Basinger, the big movie star. 362 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:44,247 I'm so beautiful. I think I'm so great. 363 00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:47,120 I'm too important to take Homer to the Oscars. 364 00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,693 - What the- - [ Screams ] 365 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,490 Got to go. Thank you for supporting the Museum of Hollywood Jerks. 366 00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:56,395 - Let's get him. - And this time it's personal. 367 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:58,732 What? It is personal. 368 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,964 He's got our underpants. 369 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:05,066 [ Tires Screeching ] 370 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:09,409 - [ Horn Honking ] - I'll never outrun them in a museum. 371 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,040 - Pull over, you maniac. - No! 372 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,143 Just jump over there, Alec. It's not that far. 373 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:17,313 Yeah, you're a big screen tough guy. 374 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:20,357 Uh, gee, I'd love to, but I'm not really wearing the right shoes. 375 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,689 [ Imitates Chicken ] 376 00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:24,694 Fine. 377 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:30,091 - [ Grunts ] - [ Screams ] 378 00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:33,569 [ Laughing ] Hey, I made it. All by myself. 379 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,140 Hey, were you watching, sweetheart? I made it! 380 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:39,301 Ow! Aaah! My watch is caught. 381 00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:42,209 Oh, for the love of- Hold on. 382 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:46,273 - Can you drive? - Not well, but I'll give it a shot. 383 00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,122 - [ Grunts ] - [ Thump ] 384 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,020 - Oh, God! - [ Tire Screeching ] 385 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,990 [ Kim Screaming ] 386 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:57,118 [ Both Screaming ] 387 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,727 I guess it's up to me. 388 00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:06,460 - [ Groaning ] - [ Both ] Ron! 389 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:11,100 - You killed Ron Howard. - Okay, I'll stop. 390 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,735 [ Gavel Banging ] 391 00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:21,448 - Mr. Simpson, do you have anything to say for yourself? - Yes, I do. 392 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,420 I believe that famous people have a debt to everyone. 393 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:27,583 If celebrities didn't want people pawing through their garbage... 394 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,993 and saying they're gay, they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively. 395 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,799 In closing, you people must realize... 396 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,599 that the public owns you for life, and when you're dead... 397 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:44,608 you'll all be in commercials, dancing with vacuum cleaners. 398 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,974 Thank you, Your Honor. 399 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,480 Mr. Simpson, you are forbidden to come within 500 miles... 400 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,380 of any celebrity, living or dead. 401 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,749 [ All ] Whoo-hoo! 402 00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:58,813 Well, I'll always have my crank calls. 403 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,824 [ Beeping ] 404 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,121 Hello? Old lady from Titanic? 405 00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:06,220 You stink! [ Giggles ] 406 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:12,736 And it grows to a powerful, emotional climax... 407 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,102 when the father has to choose... 408 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,506 which one of his children will live... 409 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:22,011 and which one will die. 410 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,309 - Pass. - [ Groans ] 411 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,748 - What else you got? - Uh- 412 00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:29,082 Well, there is this one thing. 413 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:31,781 It's about a killer-robot driving instructor... 414 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,290 that travels back in time for some reason. 415 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,361 - I'm listening. - Okay, okay. 416 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,725 Well, you see, this robot- 417 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,798 He's got a heartbreaking decision to make... 418 00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:44,733 about whether his best friend lives or dies. 419 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,796 - Eh. - His best friend's a talking pie. 420 00:21:48,907 --> 00:21:51,603 Sold! Howard, you've done it again. 421 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:52,244 ##[ Man Singing ] 422 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,371 ##[ Man Singing ] 423 00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:40,088 - [ Murmuring ] - Shh! 424 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,592 [ Ron Howard ] Homer, we're out of vodka. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net