0 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,303 ##[ Chorus Singing ] 1 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,984 [ Bell Ringing ] 2 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,918 [ Whistle Blowing ] 3 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,297 [ Beeping ] 4 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,938 ## [Jazzy Solo ] 5 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,927 [ Beeping ] 6 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,928 [ Tires Screeching ] 7 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232 D'oh! [ Screams ] 8 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,847 [ Man Announcing ] And now, the conclusion of our Thousand Dollar Movie... 9 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,352 Roger Corman's Titanic. 10 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,923 - [ Screeching ] - [ Loud Crash ] 11 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,549 [ Man Screaming ] 12 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,255 We're safe now, Clarice. We made it away from that cursed ship. 13 00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:40,059 Now I can relax and take off this stifling bikini. 14 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,031 - [ Struggling ] - Mmm. 15 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,468 Look out! Behind you! 16 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:52,238 [ Announcer] We'll return for the remainder of the conclusion after these messages. 17 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:56,247 Well, I'd rather get a message than see another lousy commercial. 18 00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:59,318 People of Earth, we have traveled all the way from space... 19 00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:03,048 to attend the most ''astrotastic'' event in the entire universe. 20 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:04,783 [ Chuckles ] You said it, Phil. 21 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:08,054 It's the bimonthly Springfield sci-fi convention. 22 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:11,460 [ Phil ] That's right. It's Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con. 23 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:14,032 Come meet all your favorite stars: 24 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,570 Mark Hamill, Alf... 25 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,570 and many more. 26 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,970 [ Alien #2 ] Plus tag team robot wrestling. 27 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:26,512 It's the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica versus the gay robots of Star Wars. 28 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,241 [ Grunts, Moans ] 29 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,011 Stop! Please, save me, R2. 30 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:35,485 - [ Chirping ] - Oh,you stupid little tramp. 31 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:38,352 You're so boring. I hate you! Ow, ow, ow! 32 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,518 Remember, it's Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con. 33 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,859 Be there and be square. 34 00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:47,125 - Well, beats work. - Yeah, beats school. 35 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,628 [ Chattering ] 36 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:56,004 - Sorry, we're all full. - [ Roaring ] 37 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:59,772 Are you sure this is a sci-fi convention? It's full of nerds. 38 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:03,337 - Hi, Lisa. - Hey, Lisa. - Guten Tag. 39 00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,917 [ Weakly ] Hi. 40 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:18,628 People! People! This man has actually been in outer space. 41 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:23,725 - Ha! Nobody cares. - This is one small step towards firing your ass! 42 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:28,136 Hey, wait. I saw that Lost In Space movie. You are not Dr. Smith. 43 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:31,039 Oh, the pain, the pain. The pain of it all. 44 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:35,410 [ Chortling ] You have still got it, Dr. Smith. 45 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,813 Silence, you nickel-plated nitwit! 46 00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,545 My dear boy, I'd be happy to show you my resume... 47 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,053 if you'd care to meet me later in the food court. 48 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,386 Danger, danger, Bart Simpson. 49 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:48,016 Someone has mixed an Amazing Spider-Man in with... 50 00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:50,755 the Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man series. 51 00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:54,993 - This will not stand. - Pardon me, but I wish to tender a serious cash offer... 52 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,830 for this stack of water-damaged Little Lulus. 53 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,905 [ Sighs ] ''A,'' that is not water. It is diet Mr. Pibb. 54 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,566 And ''B,'' I- ooh. 55 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,546 [ Moans ] 56 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:13,108 Tell me, how do you feel about 45-year-old virgins who still live with their parents? 57 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:16,586 - Comb the Sweet Tarts out of your beard and you're on. - Don't try to change me, baby. 58 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:22,719 Welcome, futurists, cyberphiles and the rest of you dateless wonders. 59 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,956 [ Cheering ] 60 00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:27,089 And now to push this convention into hyperspace... 61 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,660 the man who put the ''star'' in Star Wars, a real burr under Darth Vader's saddle... 62 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,899 Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill! 63 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,272 [ Cheering ] 64 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,480 - [ Cheering ] - Hey, thanks, everybody. 65 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,054 You know, I'm here today as Luke Skywalker... 66 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,124 but I'm also here to talk about Sprint. 67 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:57,026 As you can see, you stand to save up to 1 7 cents a month over the more dependable providers. 68 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:01,260 - Aw, talk about Star Wars. - [ Shouting In Agreement ] 69 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:05,098 You stupid nerds! He's trying to save you money on long distance. 70 00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:08,173 Star Wars, huh? Well, let me ask you this. 71 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,674 How many of you have ever dreamed of being in that movie? 72 00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,301 [ Scattered Shouts ] Me! Me! Me! 73 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,040 Well, you're in luck 'cause we're gonna act out a scene... 74 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,742 and I'll need a volunteer to play Obi-Wan. 75 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,978 - Kenobi? - [ Crowd ] Over here! Here! 76 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:24,716 Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Pick me! My whole life has been leading to this moment. 77 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,622 Like hell it has. If anybody's gonna play Obi, it's me. 78 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,753 Step away, foolish amateurs.Just keep back. Keep out of it. The role is mine. 79 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,263 With the acting and the groupies and the ''Luke, Luke, save me''... 80 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:37,325 with the light saber and the ''vwing, vwing, vwing.'' 81 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:41,669 That's not how you ''vwing.'' [ Shouts ] 82 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:47,807 - We're doomed. Doomed. - [ Clamoring ] 83 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,712 Oh, God. Can't this town go one day without a riot? 84 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:54,617 Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards? 85 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,286 Is there anything fluffier than a cloud? 86 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:02,487 - If there is, I don't wanna know about it. - [ C-3PO ] Oh, dear. Oh, my! 87 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,722 Let's cruise. Use your light saber. 88 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,823 What, and break it? You know, George Lucas makes me pay for these. 89 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:11,329 Take him. He's the one you want. 90 00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,235 Not the hair! Back off, you freakin' dweebs. 91 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:18,640 - Oh, poor Mark Hamill. - [ Gasps ] That swarm of nerds is gonna kill him. 92 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:22,374 [ Shouts ] Nerds! 93 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:27,144 Get out of there! [ Grunting ] 94 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:29,721 - Mr. Hamill. Mr. Mayor. Come on. - Who are you? 95 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,916 Homer Simpson, nerd-buster, and I'm gettin' you out of here. 96 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,823 [ Groans ] I can't, Homer. 97 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:39,557 I twisted my ankle. You guys go on without me. 98 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:43,465 Never! [ Grunts ] Follow me. 99 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,640 How was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship? 100 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,872 [ Bart ] Dad, over here.! 101 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,108 [ Panting ] 102 00:06:57,216 --> 00:07:00,185 Oh, my God! Someone has to go back in for Maggie. 103 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,754 - Forget Maggie. She's gone. - I've got Maggie. 104 00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:06,814 Wow, that was close. Well, thanks a lot, Homer. 105 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,384 Well, it's all- Hey! I thought you twisted your ankle. 106 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:15,524 Oh, yeah. Well, see the thing about that is- [ Shouts ] 107 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:19,230 [ Alarm Ringing ] 108 00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:22,307 - [ Groans ] - Hey, boss, we were just talking about you. 109 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:25,104 You call yourselves bodyguards? You're fired! 110 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,111 Fired, huh? [ Chuckles ] 111 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,340 Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for you? 112 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,576 Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery? 113 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,551 - I'll tell you who. Him! - Whoo-hoo! 114 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,884 Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just- 115 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,924 I said, ''Whoo-hoo.'' 116 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,426 [ Groans ] 117 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:51,167 As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee. 118 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:55,536 Not to your family. Not to your country. Not to ''Moo-hammad.'' 119 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,405 - Even during Ramadan? - Shut your sass-hole, boy. 120 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:02,208 These melons represent your protectees. 121 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,614 Throughout this course,you will protect your personal melon as if it was paying your salary. 122 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,583 [ Slurping ] What? 123 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:13,114 Okay. Listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon. 124 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,354 - Your job is to take the bullet. Go! - [ Gasps ] 125 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,360 - [ Panting ] - Go, go, go.! 126 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:21,194 - Pow! - No! 127 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,964 Well, your dive wasn't bad, but I just didn't believe your ''No!'' 128 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:30,771 I mean, you gotta sell it. Remember, your ''No!'' is what gets you your next job. 129 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:34,142 - Now drop and give me 20. - No! 130 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,111 Better. 131 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:42,519 You ladies are without a doubt the most sorrowful clique at the dance. 132 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:46,752 - Not one of you fit to guard a Russian rock band. - [ All Sigh ] 133 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,659 However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations. 134 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,628 [ Cheering ] 135 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,030 And, now, in honor of your achievement... 136 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:58,592 here is the theme song from the hit motion picture, The Bodyguard. 137 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,401 ## [ Singing Ballad ] 138 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,381 Whee-ha! 139 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,275 - Clear. - Oh, for Pete's sake. 140 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,322 The pig is in the poke. 141 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,790 - You know, I really don't care for that code name. - [ Meow ] 142 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,453 - Look out, Marge! Cat! - [ Screeching ] 143 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:28,830 I know you're excited about starting a new job, but could you just relax for now? 144 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,301 Hold it. What's your clearance? 145 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,532 - We just wanna get a snack. - Access denied. 146 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,801 - But, Dad- - [ Both Groan ] 147 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:41,039 Homer, I don't want you using your new sleeper hold on the children. 148 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,081 They'll be fine in half an hour. 149 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:46,151 [ Scoffs ] That's not the point. And another thing- 150 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:51,918 I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't- 151 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,492 Hmm. Still half an hour till dinner. 152 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,722 Oh, well. [ Groans ] Ow! 153 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:02,566 It's a real honor to be guarding your body, sir. 154 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:06,126 Just remember, you represent the office of the mayor. 155 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:10,368 So always comport yourself in a manner befitting- Quick, honk at that broad. 156 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,774 - [ Honks ] - [ Wolf Whistle ] 157 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:16,211 Good work, Simpson. I couldn't be happier with the way that went. 158 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,351 Hey, Homer, I told you not to come round here no more... 159 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,514 till you paid your tab, or at least cleaned up that mess you made in the bathroom... 160 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,524 that you- Mayor Quimby? [ Clears Throat ] 161 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,959 Homer, why didn't you say you was with the mayor? Shove off, pukeholes! 162 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:33,520 Get out ofhere. These stools are reserved for the mayor and his cronies. 163 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,160 Ha. Here's a couple of''Duffenbraus,'' on the house of course. 164 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:40,864 Mmm, semi-imported. [ Gulping ] 165 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:44,431 - Keep 'em coming. - [ Sighs ] 166 00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,842 Your generosity is greatly appreciated... 167 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:51,610 especially during this health inspection season. 168 00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:55,915 Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Health inspection. That reminds me. Ha! 169 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,047 Your change, sir. 170 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,893 We're working on that roach situation. I swear to God. 171 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,623 Yeah, you should see the hospital. 172 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:07,858 [ Clinking ] 173 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:15,567 And after Moe's, we went to Krusty Burger, and the mayor got some more change. 174 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,543 And I ordered a double-double, but they gave me the double-double-double-double. 175 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,273 And then Apu gave the mayor lots of change for- 176 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:26,010 - Dad, don't you see what's going on? - That ''change'' was a bribe. 177 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:29,383 Oh, honey, don't be so naive. That's how the world works. 178 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:34,425 Sure the mayor takes a few bribes, but he also makes the trains run on time. 179 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:39,157 No, he doesn't. Trains are regulated by the federal Department ofTransportation. 180 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,165 And recent studies have shown that- 181 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,462 - [ Groans ] - Homer! 182 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:52,733 Thank you, Mayor Quimby, for honoring us with the school milk concession. 183 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:57,646 Well, the good children of Springfield need their milk, and I need my- [ Coughs ] 184 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:01,413 Please accept this kickback as a token of our esteem. 185 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,648 Thank you, Fat Tony. However, in the future... 186 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:09,217 I would prefer a nondescript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it. 187 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,888 So, how'd you get the nickname ''Legs''? 188 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:15,194 Well, that's an interesting story. [ Chuckles ] 189 00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:19,601 - It seems President Kennedy's father was- - Whoo! Mini cannoli. 190 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,105 Hey, I called that. 191 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:26,235 I saw it first. Come back here. [ Growls ] Hmm, milking room. 192 00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,643 - I hope you cows are decent. - [ Loud Squeaking ] 193 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,206 [ Gasps ] Crap on a crust! 194 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,878 - [ Groans ] - [ Squeaking ] 195 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,687 [ Yelps ] They're milking rats. 196 00:12:39,792 --> 00:12:44,752 - Milking rats! - Rats? I'm outraged. You promised me dog or higher. 197 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,561 [ Gasps ] 198 00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:49,600 [ Loud Gulping ] 199 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:53,103 - [ Disgusted Sound ] - [ Gulping, Slurping ] 200 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:57,135 [ Groans ] 201 00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,504 Bart! No! 202 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,981 Hey! My milk. I traded my math book for that. 203 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,644 Dad, what a nice surprise. 204 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:10,221 - [ Kissing Sounds ] - [ Disgusted Sounds ] 205 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:14,281 Get that away from me. Kids, I don't want you drinking any more milk... ever. 206 00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:17,260 - Can I still drink it? - Go nuts. 207 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,093 All right! [ Loud Gulping ] 208 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,394 [ Gagging ] 209 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,896 You monster! How could you do that to the children? 210 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,738 Those wacky gangsters. What are you gonna do? 211 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:35,974 And to think I respected you... and defended you. 212 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:39,312 You wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me! 213 00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,943 [ Gasping, Shouting ] 214 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:45,217 [ Gasps ] Okay. We'll call it even. 215 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:50,154 Oh, my God! I killed the mayor. All right, stay calm. 216 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:54,028 I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend at Bernie's and- 217 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,761 - Help. Help. - [ Gasps ] 218 00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,805 - His corpse is climbing the building. - I'm alive, you idiot. 219 00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:05,036 - Pull me in. - Okay. Wait a second. 220 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:10,013 I'm not saving you unless you promise to get that rats' milk out of the schools. 221 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:11,878 But the gangsters will kill me. 222 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:15,442 You're forgetting. You've got the best bodyguard in the business. 223 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,385 Now, promise or I'll let you fall to your death. 224 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:20,117 - All right, all right. I promise. - Shake on it. 225 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,490 - [ Shouts ] - [ Horn Honks ] 226 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:26,463 Relax, you're in good hands. Now, come on. I'll pull you up. 227 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:31,195 Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Not so fast. I can see into the interns' restroom from here. 228 00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:35,103 [ Grunts ] Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor? 229 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,765 [ Grunts ] All right, pull me up. 230 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,669 Six queens. Read 'em and weep. 231 00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:46,217 Not so fast. Seven queens. 232 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,218 Freeze, goombahs. 233 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:52,453 We're shutting you down, you filthy I-talians. 234 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,755 - It's Italian-Americans. - Right, right. Filthy I-talian-Americans. 235 00:14:55,861 --> 00:15:01,163 Gentlemen, if you would simply consult my dear friend Mayor Quimby... 236 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,896 - I am confident this can be- - Not this time, Fat Tony. 237 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,564 The mayor's office is not for sale. 238 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,368 [ All Laughing ] 239 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,205 Can you, uh, edit out the laughs? 240 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:17,442 I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage. 241 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,177 Ooh, the Mafia guy's all mad. 242 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:23,084 Oh, what are you gonna do, call your godfather, huh? 243 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,986 ''Oh, Godfather''- [ Whimpering ] 244 00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,118 - Break it down. - [ Grunting ] 245 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:32,288 [ Rats Squeaking ] 246 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:36,835 It's pure. Pull the plug, boys. 247 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,302 Run free, little vermin. The city is yours. 248 00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:51,008 - And so, as the rats' milk is returned to the sewers- - [ Meowing ] 249 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,243 the circle of life is complete. 250 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,480 - Fat Tony, do you have any comment? - I don't get it. 251 00:15:56,588 --> 00:16:00,046 Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk? 252 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,059 Hmm. Any words for the mayor? 253 00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:07,121 Hello, Mayor Quimby. I would like to remind you that accidents will happen... 254 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:10,827 like the killing of you by us. 255 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:15,896 Aren't you scared, Dad? I mean, if I were Fat Tony and, God willing, some day I will be... 256 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,806 I'd just be stewing in my jail cell, getting madder and madder. 257 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:22,711 Oh, don't worry about that, boy. He's already out on bail. 258 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,375 - Well, I'm off to work. - You're guarding the mayor tonight? 259 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,509 After Fat Tony swore revenge? 260 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:31,214 It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me. 261 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,951 - Bart, would you go start Daddy's car? - Homer! 262 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,493 What? There's nothing to worry about. 263 00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:40,087 - Well, then you start it. - All right. Fine. I'll take a cab. 264 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,635 [ Doorbell Chiming ''Hail to the Chief''] 265 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:47,365 Homer, I'm not sure it's wise to go out right now. 266 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:52,274 I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [ Sighs ] wife. 267 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:55,677 Oh, I get it. You're worried about those mobsters, aren't ya? 268 00:16:55,781 --> 00:17:00,718 No, no. I truly do want to stay home with the- [ Sighs ] wife. 269 00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,946 You've gotta snap out of this funk, Mayor. 270 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:07,458 I'm gonna take you someplace where you can relax and forget all about gangsters. 271 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:12,860 - Excuse me. - [ Drawn-out ] Yes? 272 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:16,423 - Do you have a table for the mayor? - Yes! 273 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:20,494 - Why do you talk that way? - I had a stroke. 274 00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:33,307 Dear Lord, please make tonight's production better than Othello with Peter Marshall. 275 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:38,447 [ Homer ] Okay, Mr. Burns, Fat Tony, what's-his-name- Fat Tony.! 276 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,994 [ Gasps ] All right, Fat Tony. If it's trouble with Quimby you're after- 277 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:47,896 Please. I am only here as a devotee of the lively arts. 278 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,800 But I do have something for the mayor that perhaps you could deliver. 279 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,533 Mayor, Fat Tony asked me to give you this. 280 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,768 - [ Loud Kiss ] - [ Spits ] 281 00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:00,106 You moron! That's the kiss of death. 282 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,181 Oh, no! Wait. Maybe I didn't do it right. 283 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,910 Never mind that. Just go patrol the perimeter. 284 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:11,815 Ah, au gratin potatoes. That's a quality side. 285 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,427 No! 286 00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,440 Potatoes are clean. The poison must be in the steak. 287 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,008 [ Eating Loudly ] 288 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,945 [ Chorus ] ##[ Singing Show Tune ] 289 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,505 ## [ Continues ] 290 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:46,518 This is a conceptual nightmare. I mean, Nathan Detroit would never wear this. 291 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,616 And this song isn't even in the show. 292 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:53,357 I don't have time for this. I got 7 5 shortcakes to strawberry. 293 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,263 - Now get out there, Luke. - [ Sighs ] 294 00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,767 ## [ Singing Show Tune ] 295 00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:08,409 - ##[ Continues ] - I want the mayor dead. I want his wife dead. 296 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,642 I want his cat and his dog dead. 297 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,945 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is before the cat? 298 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:17,681 [ Sighs ] Just kill the mayor. 299 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:20,825 Y-You're not mad at me, are you? 300 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:24,726 ## [ Singing Show Tune ] 301 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:47,478 Hey, you're in this number! Get out there and shake that moneymaker. 302 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,349 But I'm just here to kill- 303 00:19:57,296 --> 00:20:01,198 - That guy with the knife sure can dance, huh? - He looks awfully familiar. 304 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:06,101 I think I saw him in Rent or Stomp or Clomp or some piece of crap. 305 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,365 [ Audience Cheering ] 306 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,877 Hey, pal, that's my head shot up there next to the pepper steak... 307 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,949 - and don't you forget it. - You're all talk, Hamill. 308 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,177 You never even finished Jedi school. 309 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,588 - Show's over, Mayor. - Look out! [ Grunts ] 310 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,825 - [ Straining ] Give me that knife. - No, it's mine. 311 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:32,396 [ Whimpering ] 312 00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:36,126 - Homer. Use the for- - The Force? 313 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,671 - The forks. Use the forks. - Oh. 314 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,202 Yes! 315 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:53,512 Nobody messes with the mayor when Homer Simpson's on- Oh, crap. 316 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:59,348 - Oh, Fat Tony. - What? 317 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:02,791 - What did I do? - [ Bat Clatters On Ground ] 318 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,469 I checked with the doctor. He said Mayor Quimby's gonna be fine... 319 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,300 and I was electric as Nathan Detroit. 320 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:18,206 - What did you think of me? - I'd say you were luminous, magnetic. 321 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,609 [ Loud Sigh ] Incandescent. 322 00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:25,171 Oh, cheer up, Homer. I think you made a great bodyguard. 323 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,412 Really? Would you say I was magnetic? 324 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,613 - Absolutely. - Aw. 325 00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:33,748 - [ Cheering, Applause ] - [ Man ] Mr. Skywalker. 326 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:38,159 [ Groans ] Homer, I think you know what to do. 327 00:21:38,263 --> 00:21:41,790 ##[ Woman Singing Ballad ] 328 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:46,462 Shoot. I forgot my light saber. 329 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:51,668 Oh, wait. Here it is. 330 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:55,269 [ Homer Groans ] Get out of the way. 331 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:55,847 ##[ Continues ] 332 00:21:55,847 --> 00:22:02,184 ##[ Continues ] 333 00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:22,439 ##[ Continues ] 334 00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,124 ##[ Ends ] 335 00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,194 - [ People Chattering ] - Shh! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net