0 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,303 ##[ Chorus Singing ] 1 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,984 [ Bell Ringing ] 2 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,918 [ Whistle Blowing ] 3 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,297 [ Beeping ] 4 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,938 ## [Jazzy Solo ] 5 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,926 [ Beeping ] 6 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,928 [ Tires Screeching ] 7 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232 D'oh! [ Screams ] 8 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,937 [ All ] Whoa! 9 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,911 ## [ Singing ] 10 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,081 ## [ Continues ] 11 00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:41,093 ## [ Singing Rock Song ] 12 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:48,172 I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows. 13 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,241 ## [ Singing Ends ] 14 00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,613 [ Chuckles ] Whew. Mercy. 15 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,554 Good evening. Our old friend Noah Webster defines ''laughter''... 16 00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:07,717 as ''the act or sound of laughing.'' 17 00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,294 [ Nelson ] Ha-ha.! 18 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,625 [ Chuckles ] Well illustrated, Nelson. 19 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,223 And now, fasten your funny bones for Groundskeeper- 20 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:18,065 Oh. Or should I say ''Grinskeeper''? 21 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:21,038 No, I'm sorry. Groundskeeper was correct. Willie! 22 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,235 - ## [ Bagpipes ] - [ Applause ] 23 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:27,108 How many of you hail from the fair city of Edinburgh? 24 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,082 So, have you noticed... 25 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:34,585 how North Edinburgh golfers putt like this... 26 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:38,623 and South Edinburgh golfers putt like this? 27 00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:42,217 - [ Man Coughs ] - Eh? 28 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,262 - ## [ Bagpipes ] - Eh? 29 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,595 - [ Crickets Chirping ] - Oh, I see. 30 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,260 Willie's not funny unless he's down on his knees... 31 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,930 scooping up your little brats' puke! 32 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,200 [ Laughing, Applauding ] 33 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,208 Thank you! You've been great! 34 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,107 ##[Jazz ] 35 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,112 ## [ Singing ] 36 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,349 ## [ Continues ] 37 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,750 - [ Groaning ] - ## [ Continues ] 38 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,050 - [ Balloons Popping ] - Kill me. 39 00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:14,217 Well, Seymour, it seems we put together... 40 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,522 a baseball team, and I was wondering- 41 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,529 Who's on first? 42 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,395 Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a player... 43 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,061 with the unlikely name of Who is on first. 44 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,070 Yes. Well, that's just great, Seymour. 45 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:29,471 We've been out here six seconds. You've already managed to blow the routine. 46 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,567 Sexless freak. 47 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:35,409 - ##[ Rim Shot ] - [ Laughs ] 48 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,245 Well, seems as though we're just about at the halfway point... 49 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,979 - so why don't we call it intermission? - [ Chattering ] 50 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,987 Whoa! Don't go too far. 51 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,820 If you like cafeteria workers in Beatle wigs with tennis racket guitars... 52 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,860 you won't want to miss the second half. 53 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,055 - Oh, no! No! - [ All Shouting ] 54 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,190 You drive. I eat. 55 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,099 Dad, you were supposed to pay for those snacks. 56 00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,604 I saw Krabappel's butt. I paid. 57 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,803 [ Horns Honking ] 58 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,538 Whoopsie. Mm, this could take a minute. 59 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,876 - There's an opening, Mom. - I don't know. 60 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:12,110 I- I hate to change lanes once I get going. 61 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:15,187 - That's really for race car drivers. - Mom, to your left. 62 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,812 He's letting you in. Go! 63 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,448 - [ Lisa ] Come on, Mom.! - [ Homer ] Gun it, woman.! 64 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,858 No. No. As soon as I get over, that lane will stop moving. 65 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,931 Erma Bombeck said so, and Dave Barry agrees. 66 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,129 - [ Horns Honking ] - Aw! You suck, Marge. 67 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,806 - Come on! Move it, you clowns! - [ Honking ] 68 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:37,102 What in blazes? 69 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,743 So long, schlubs! 70 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,251 Wow. Did you see that thing, Marge? 71 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,287 So powerful. So commanding. 72 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,256 - So forceful and raw. - [ Horse Neighs ] 73 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:55,054 It didn't ask. It just took. 74 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,595 - ##[ Man Singing Country Music ] - [ Man #2 Shouts ] 75 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:05,034 - ##[ Ends ] - [ Groaning ] 76 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,538 Oh, Canyonero. 77 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,574 [ Laughs ] Go ahead. Drool all you want. 78 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:13,806 You can't hurt that finish. Now, rainwater- that'll strip it right off. 79 00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,848 Ah, I shouldn't have said that. I'm Gil. 80 00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,849 Hey, a red one! 81 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:21,112 [ Laughing ] 82 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,347 Can I buy that? Please? 83 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,050 Well, you- If you- [ Babbles ] Really? 84 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,754 Wha- Ha! Hot dog! A sale! 85 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,057 [ Laughing ] 86 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,395 - [ Laughing Continues ] Huh? - I'll take it from here, Gil. 87 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,128 No! Wait! Ah, no! You can't take my sale! 88 00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:40,069 My wife's gonna leave me if I don't start bringing in the green. 89 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,074 Come on. Let me have this one, Stan. I'm begging you. 90 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,043 Look at me. I'm begging you, Stan. 91 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,012 Mm-hmm. Let's go write this up, shall we? 92 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,816 Honey, you should've seen me with my last customer. I- 93 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:58,857 No, but I came so close. This guy was- 94 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,018 Whose voice is that? Is that Fred? 95 00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,495 Ah, you said it was over! No, don't put him on! 96 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,896 Hello, Fred. H-Hi. 97 00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,168 Okay. You've got the undercoating... 98 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,568 clear coating, rustproofing, under guard spray... 99 00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,301 Gravel Guard XJ, Vita-Seal, Repels-It... 100 00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:20,607 but if you want to protect the paint, you better keep it in this tent. 101 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,375 - Will do. - Okay. Here's how your lease breaks down: 102 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:28,511 This is your down payment, then here's your monthly, and there's your weekly. 103 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,816 - And that's it, right? - Yup. 104 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,551 Oh, then after your final monthly payment, there's the routine C.B.P.... 105 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:36,423 - or crippling balloon payment. - But that's not for a while, right? 106 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,726 - Right. - Sweet. 107 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:41,356 [ Bird Caws ] 108 00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,991 - Whoo! Hello! - Whoo! 109 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,569 Hey, baby! 110 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,906 Oh. Sorry, Homer. We thought you were one of those hot-to-trot soccer moms. 111 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,672 Yeah. You don't see many men driving the ''F'' Series. 112 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,680 Huh? 113 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:59,445 See? Instead of a cigarette lighter, it's got a lipstick holder. 114 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,315 [ Gasps ] 115 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,414 Ah, crap! It's a girl's car! I can't drive this! 116 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,790 Oh, sure, you can, doll face. [ Kisses ] 117 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,194 [ Chuckles ] Pretty thing like you can do whatever she wants. 118 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,266 [ Both Laughing ] 119 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,631 Shut up! Screw you guys! 120 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,931 [ Both Laughing ] 121 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:22,735 Lousy ''F''Series frilly, girlie, fruity car. [ Mutters ] 122 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,333 Where's your keys? I'm taking your car to work. 123 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:29,609 You cashed in your 401 (k) to buy that stupid Canyonero. 124 00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,843 - Why can't you drive it? - Are you saying I'm gay? 125 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,978 Because if that's what you think, then just come right out and say it. 126 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,455 I don't think you're gay. I just have to do my grocery shopping. 127 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,459 Now, please, give me my keys. 128 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,461 Fine. 129 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,623 ## [ Humming ] 130 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,893 - [ Engine Starts ] - [ Laughs ] 131 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,367 - Ha-ha! Sucker! - Oh! 132 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,309 Good Lord! [ Groans ] 133 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,935 How am I supposed to get in this beast? 134 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,975 Hmm. Well, that's a nice feature. 135 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:10,487 Not much headroom though. Ooh! 136 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:14,185 Oh, I guess I can drive it for a little while. 137 00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,523 But, Mom, I read that sport utility vehicles... 138 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,189 are more likely to be involved in fatal accidents. 139 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,596 Fatal to the people in the other car. Let's roll. 140 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:25,467 Hang on. The manual says I need to log on to the onboard computer. 141 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,369 M-A-R-G-E. 142 00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:31,568 [ Electronic Female Voice ] Hello, Marge. Where would you like to go today? 143 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,841 [ Gasps ] No one has ever asked me that before in my life. 144 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,947 Well, that's a first. I've never been able... 145 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:44,386 to fit 3 2 grocery bags into one car before. 146 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:48,153 Ew! Why is Courtney Love on the Wheaties box? 147 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:52,061 - Hmm. I thought it was Sandy Duncan. - Uh-oh. Gridlock at 1 2:00. 148 00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,792 - [ Horns Honking ] - [ People Shouting ] 149 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:02,207 Oh, crud. And we're so close to the house. 150 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:06,335 Um, I don't want to alarm you, but the ice cream's starting to go south. 151 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:11,674 Hmm. Mm-hmm. [ Gags ] 152 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,184 Hey, give me some of that! [ Screams ] 153 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,120 Mom! Bart sprayed whipped cream in my eye! 154 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,350 - I did not. - [ Screams ] 155 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:23,292 - [ Both Grunting ] - Kids, cut it out! 156 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,923 - [ Sighs ] All right. - Hey! 157 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,524 Come on, Mom. Just cut across the field. 158 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,365 Oh, I don't know. It doesn't seem right. 159 00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,996 [ Scoffs ] Do you want to spend your whole life doing what's right? 160 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,007 Of course not. 161 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,873 - Let's do it! - ##[ Man Singing Country Music ] 162 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,212 [ Man #2 Shouts ] 163 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,752 - ##[ Continues ] - Whoa! You the man, Mom! 164 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:49,753 Out of my way, nature! 165 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:52,221 [ Chittering ] 166 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,816 ##[ Ends ] 167 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,563 [ Gasps ] 168 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,398 Look at me, Lise. I'm Baron Von Chicken Pants. 169 00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,972 [ Clucking ] 170 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,099 Bart, that's tomorrow night's dinner. 171 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,734 - You're tomorrow night's dinner. - Mom! 172 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,905 Bart took what I said and turned it into an insult! 173 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,676 That's nice, dear! 174 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,616 Okay, Mr. Peanut, you think you can keep- 175 00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:24,581 [ Sputtering ] 176 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,920 A three-chambered peanut! 177 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,587 Marge, look what I did! Come quick! Hurry! 178 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,891 Marge? 179 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,263 Marge? 180 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,269 - Marge, you've been out there all morning. - So? 181 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:42,569 So, lying on the couch and eating stuff isn't the same if you aren't around to see it. 182 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,269 Oh, I'll come watch you do nothing after I try out... 183 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,142 my new high-intensity halogen headlights. 184 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:55,652 [ Laughs ] Nobody will ever cut me off again. 185 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,689 Ah, please come in! 186 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:02,955 Maggie smells bad, and the cat wants something, but I don't know what. 187 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:07,021 I'm almost done. And tell Bart to get out of my purse. 188 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,629 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 189 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,343 - [ Marge ] S.U. V. coming through. - [ Horn Honking ] 190 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,311 - Open up for Marge. Thank you. - [ Honking Continues ] 191 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,405 Thank- Whoa.! 192 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,280 And daylight.! Come on.! Come on.! 193 00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:29,752 - [ Honking Continues ] - Geez. Try the gas pedal, Grandma. 194 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,016 It's right there next to the brake. 195 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:35,992 - Oh, for God's s- Go back to New Jersey. - [ Horn Honks ] 196 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,290 [ Tires Squeal, Screech ] 197 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,926 [ Muttering ] 198 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,502 - [ Muffled Shout ] - [ Honks ] 199 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,731 Come on, come on! Get that corpse off the road! 200 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,001 The streets are for the living! 201 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:53,442 - [ Both ] Whoa! - Slow down, you maniac! 202 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,946 Show some respect for this coffin full of bricks... 203 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,846 representing a young man lost at sea. 204 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:03,021 - Hey! - [ Siren Wailing ] 205 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:06,655 Oh, great. What did I do? 206 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,992 - This better be important. - Can the sweet talk, Thelma & Louise. 207 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:15,158 You have a serious mental illness. 208 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:18,065 The technical term is ''road rage.'' 209 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,071 I'll see you tomorrow morning at traffic school, speedy. 210 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,903 And you got exactly five seconds to get out of my sight. 211 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,739 - [ Grumbles ] - [ Tires Squeal ] 212 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,974 [ Sighs ] Why are the pretty ones always insane? 213 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,749 [ Marge Groaning ] 214 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:38,748 Okay. I assume you all know why you're here. 215 00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,883 That's right. You're all angry... 216 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,858 - sick people. - [ Snoring ] 217 00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:48,093 But over these next eight hours, you will be broken down to the level of infants... 218 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,328 then rebuilt as functional members of society... 219 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,429 then broken down again, then lunch... 220 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,770 then, if there's time, rebuilt once more. 221 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,776 All right, roll it, Lou. 222 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,739 ## [ Instrumental ] 223 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,873 Hello. I'm Sergeant Crew... 224 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,384 and I'm here to talk to you about... 225 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,944 road... rage. 226 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,355 - Duh! - Quiet, fatso! The sergeant's talking! 227 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,927 Go on, dear. 228 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,895 In these modern, hectic days of fast food... 229 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:23,560 answering machines and one-night stands, people are getting angrier. 230 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,297 Now, what you're about to see is not pretty. 231 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:33,278 Cut me off, will you? [ Grunting ] 232 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,473 - [ Horn Honking ] - Learn to drive, dimwit! 233 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,380 I sentence you to kiss my ass. 234 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,681 [ Screaming ] 235 00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,188 Look familiar? It should. 236 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,486 Anger is what makes America great. 237 00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,255 But you must find the proper outlet for your rage. 238 00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,728 Fire a weapon at your television screen... 239 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,959 pick a fight with someone weaker than you... 240 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,934 or write a threatening letter to a celebrity. 241 00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,597 So when you go out for a drive... 242 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:05,234 remember to leave your murderous anger where it belongs- at home. 243 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,008 [ Applause ] 244 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:12,174 And as if that film wasn't enough, we have a special guest. 245 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,744 Why, it's Curtis E. Bear, the courtesy bear. 246 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,756 ## [ Hums ] 247 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:23,056 For the next three hours, this bear will take your verbal and physical abuse... 248 00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,062 with good nature and aplomb. 249 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,600 So, if you'll all just grab one of these two-by-fours- 250 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,670 Um, Chief, can I at least shield my crotch? 251 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,261 Bears can't talk, Eddie. 252 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,068 - [ Shouting ] - [ Eddie Gasps ] 253 00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,144 - [ Blows Landing ] - [ Chattering ] 254 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,877 Well, Simpson, did you learn something today? 255 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,075 Oh, did I ever. 256 00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:49,177 And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me. 257 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,588 And remember, Midge, you feel the need to rage, you call me, right? 258 00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:57,423 I won't even get sexual or nothin'- unless that's what you want. 259 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,759 - [ Door Opens, Closes ] - But that's not what you want, right? 260 00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,765 No, thanks. 261 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,698 But thanks. 262 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:07,067 [ Chattering ] 263 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,538 After you, sweetheart. 264 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,610 Oh, no. You first, ma'am. 265 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,701 Well, somebody go first. 266 00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:16,906 - Well, not me. - I'm not goin' until she goes. 267 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,916 Oh, for crying out loud! 268 00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:23,045 Oh. Oh. Okay. Calm down.Just think. 269 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,316 What would Curtis E. Bear do? 270 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,383 - [ Honking ] - Move it! I gotta return this suit! 271 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,656 [ Tires Screeching ] 272 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,459 Hmm. 273 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,668 Get out of the way! 274 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,739 -[ Tires Screeching ] - Oh, no! No! 275 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,739 [ Horn Honking ] 276 00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:45,901 [ Screams ] 277 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,740 - Ya! - [ Alarm Wailing ] 278 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,746 We're free! We're free! 279 00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,511 Whoa! Thanks, chick-dude. 280 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,519 Well, I hope you're happy, Simpson. 281 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,057 Those prisoners were one day away from being completely rehabilitated. 282 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,218 I'm tearing up your license. 283 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,530 Ah, geez. Darned laminated- 284 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,192 Would you mind? I got stubby fingers. [ Chuckles ] 285 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,202 [ Groans ] 286 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,839 [ Groans ] How could they take away my license? 287 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,310 - It feels like I lost a limb. - Well, that's a turnoff. 288 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,041 Hey, why don't you come to the wild animal park with us? 289 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,674 No. Your father drives like an old lady. 290 00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,685 At least I've got a license. 291 00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:31,915 - [ Groans ] - Come on, kids. I went too far. 292 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,726 - [ Door Slams ] - [ Sighs ] 293 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,820 [ Elephant Trumpets ] 294 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,161 - [ Growling ] - [ Trumpeting Continues ] 295 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,064 Ah, what a gyp. They're all just lyin' around. 296 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,727 Do something! 297 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,272 Bart, they're not here to entertain us. 298 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,571 I've seen plays that were more exciting than this. 299 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,907 Honest to God. Plays! 300 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,640 [ Animal Calling ] 301 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,911 I don't wanna pay four bucks to watch some monkey wannabe laying in the sun! 302 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,145 But, Dad, lemurs are nocturnal. 303 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,188 Don't worry, honey. Daddy will fix that broken animal. 304 00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,554 - No! - I'm not gonna hurt him. I'm just gonna wake him up. 305 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,287 [ Shrieking ] 306 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:12,623 [ Shrieks ] 307 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,926 [ Roars ] 308 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,195 - [ Snarling ] - [ All Growl ] 309 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,770 [ All Snarling, Grunting ] 310 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,774 Uh-oh. Here's a slingshot, Lisa. 311 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,714 [ Australian Accent ] I told 'em a chain link fence wouldn't hold rhinos. 312 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:33,512 Oh, wait. No, I didn't. I meant to tell 'em. 313 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,219 [ Shrieks, Muffled Grunting ] 314 00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:48,390 [ Muffled Laughing ] 315 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,834 [ Screaming ] 316 00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,530 - [ Screaming ] - [ Snarling ] 317 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:58,142 Don't worry, kids. I know just what to do. 318 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,643 -Jumanji! - [ All Snarling ] 319 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,412 Does anything from the movies actually work? 320 00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,246 [ Both Whimpering ] 321 00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,378 - [ Both Grunt ] - Ah, nuts! 322 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,219 Isn't there anybody who can round up these thunder lizards? 323 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,691 Uh, they'd need a pretty rugged vehicle. 324 00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:18,763 - And a heart to match. - Hmm. 325 00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:22,061 I'd like to help you, Chief, but my license was revoked. 326 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,658 Seems I'm full of rage. 327 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,171 Then do it for this adorable little puppy. 328 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,173 Look at the puppy, Marge. 329 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,711 - That's your hat. - She's good, Chief. 330 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:36,975 Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some dust that needs busting. 331 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,051 - [ People Screaming ] - This is Kent Brockman... 332 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:43,053 at the scene of a level three rhino alert. 333 00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:46,215 - [ Screaming ] - Authorities say there's no immediate danger to anyone- 334 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:49,055 except those three luckless people whom we'll identify... 335 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,789 once the rhinos spit out their wallets. 336 00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,627 - [ Gasps ] - Back! Back, I say! 337 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,258 [ Snarling ] 338 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,303 Oh, no! I'm out of popcorn! 339 00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:02,168 - Throw your peanuts! - You throw your peanuts! 340 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,208 [ All Screaming ] 341 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,436 - [ Tires Screeching ] - [ Horn Honking ] 342 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,537 - [ Bart ] Look! It's Mom! - Out of the way! 343 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,242 - [ Honks ] - Move it or lose it! Get going, you! 344 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,911 [ Horn Honking ] 345 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,057 This ought to hold 'em. 346 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,561 There's one missing, mate. If we don't find him, it'll be my ass on the barbie! 347 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,130 - [ Snarling ] - [ All Whimpering ] 348 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,722 [ Horn Honking ] 349 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,235 - Get in! Get in! - [ Both Grunt ] 350 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,204 - Come on, Homer!Jump! - [ Grunts ] 351 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:39,676 Oh! When will Detroit build a sunroof for the husky gentleman? 352 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:41,336 - [ Shrieks ] - [ Snarling ] 353 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,074 [ Screaming, Whimpering ] 354 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:48,210 [ Screaming ] Ah, no! 355 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,345 [ People Gasping ] 356 00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,548 [ Whimpering, Sobbing ] 357 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,558 Hey, anybody seen Homer today? 358 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,525 - Here. [ Babbling ] - There he goes. 359 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,994 [ Screaming ] Ow! 360 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,533 - It's not my rhino! - [ All Gasp ] 361 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,000 [ Screaming ] 362 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,833 [ Screams ] 363 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,568 Oh, thank you, God. 364 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,804 And thank you, Port-a-John. You really saved my- 365 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,506 [ Screams ] Who's out there? 366 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,081 [ Shrieks ] Oh, I'm gonna die! 367 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:23,654 Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all! 368 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,752 - [ Groans ] - [ Homer ] Nice rhino. 369 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:37,827 [ Gasps ] Oh, no! She's not gonna make it. 370 00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:40,871 Hmm. Looks like it's time for plan ''B.'' 371 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,339 One, two... 372 00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:45,467 three, ''B''! 373 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,044 [ Grunts ] 374 00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:53,582 [ Shrieks, Snarling ] 375 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:57,280 It's okay, Homie. You can come out now. 376 00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,687 Uh, give me a minute. 377 00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:05,558 [ Grunting, Yelps ] 378 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,859 Oh, Marge! You saved me! 379 00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:11,561 Wow! You are so much cooler than Milhouse's mom. 380 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,661 Yeah. Way to channel that rage, Simpson. 381 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,967 How did you know your plan would work, Mom? 382 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:19,407 Thanks for asking. Well, I was watching Dateline... 383 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:23,572 and Stone Phillips said S.U.V.'s always roll over when you turn sharply... 384 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,276 and the gas tanks explode at the drop of a hat. 385 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:29,252 And she also knew if a rhino sees a flame... 386 00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,584 he'll instinctively try to put it out. 387 00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,590 Stone Phillips again. 388 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,887 Is there anything that guy doesn't know? 389 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,690 Why, this Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. 390 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,958 What television network is he on? 391 00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:42,966 Why, NBC, of course. 392 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:47,266 NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat. 393 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,000 Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now? 394 00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:52,042 Oh, I'm sure of it. 395 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,011 But there's only one way to find out. 396 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,604 [ Homer ] I'd like to read the following statement... 397 00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,445 - but I do so under- - [ Gun Cocks ] 398 00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,109 my own free will. 399 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:03,983 ''It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. 400 00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,286 ''I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. 401 00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:11,988 So, in summary, NBC bad, Fox good. '' CBS great. 402 00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:14,190 - [ Gunshot ] - [ Body Hits Ground ] 403 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,392 [ Gunshots Continue ] 404 00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,255 - [ Gunshot ] - [ Body Hits Ground ] 405 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,829 [ Gunshots Continue ] 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net