0 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,303 ##[ Chorus Singing ] 1 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,984 [ Bell Ringing ] 2 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,918 [ Whistle Blowing ] 3 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,297 [ Beeping ] 4 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,938 ## [Jazzy Solo ] 5 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,926 [ Beeping ] 6 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,928 [ Tires Screeching ] 7 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232 D'oh! [ Screams ] 8 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,971 [ All Grunting ] 9 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,815 [ Bird Cawing ] 10 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,351 [ Man On Radio ] Okay, F.D.R. is in the White House... 11 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,683 an ice-cream cone costs a nickel... 12 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:32,349 and a hot new tune by Benny Goodman is hitting the charts. 13 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:35,622 - The year is 1 939. - [ Snoring ] 14 00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:38,128 - ## [ Swing ] - 1 9- 1 939? 15 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,358 Oh, my God! I've gone back in time! 16 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,526 I've got to warn everybody about Hitler! 17 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,728 And get to the ice-cream store! 18 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,806 Hey, Homer, what's all the hubbub? 19 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:49,067 Let me guess. You travel back in time again? 20 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:51,473 Shut up! You haven't even been born yet! 21 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,876 Easy, Homer. I'll bring you back. 22 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,948 [ Stations Changing ] 23 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,017 - ## [ New Wave Rock ] - Ohh! 24 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,746 Oh, boy, am I glad to see you guys. 25 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,617 [ Man ] That was Men Without Hats. 26 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,782 Or as they're known today, Men WithoutJobs. 27 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,860 [ Men Laughing ] 28 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,929 - [ Man #2 ] Don't go there, Marty! - I'm not goin' anywhere. 29 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:12,827 - I'm staying right here at P.J. O'Harrigan's. - [ Crowd Whooping ] 30 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:15,264 We're broadcasting live from P.J. O'H.'s... 31 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:18,360 and this place makes Animal House look like Terms of Endearment. 32 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,929 We're kicking off our 3 5th consecutive happy hour with no end in sight. 33 00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,271 - So come on down. - [ Cheering ] 34 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,572 Yeah, that sounds like a swingin' shindig. 35 00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:29,170 Yeah, too bad we gotta work, huh, Homer? 36 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:32,342 - Homer? - [ Homer On Radio ] Whoo-hoo! Let's party! 37 00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,444 - Wake up, Homer. - [ Groans ] 38 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:38,649 Come on! Move your butt. You're blocking traffic. 39 00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:42,319 - [ Horn Honking ] - That's no way to address Sir Drinks-a-Lot. 40 00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:44,328 [ Groans ] Come on. 41 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:47,866 - [ Horns Honking ] - Let's get you inside and scrape the gum out of your hair. 42 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,458 Okay. Hey, Marge. 43 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,801 What's your favorite radio station? 44 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,975 - Well, Marge? - What? 45 00:02:58,077 --> 00:03:00,045 What's your favorite radio station? 46 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,147 Okay, Dad, we're ready! 47 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,114 Okay, Dad, we're ready! 48 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:05,446 Hey, that's super. See you later. 49 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,248 Dad, don't you remember? It's our special Saturday. 50 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:12,256 You agreed to spend one Saturday a month doing something with the kids. 51 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,825 Ohh! 52 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,124 Oh, quit complaining. It's half the work of a divorced dad. 53 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,529 Yeah, but it's twice as much as a deadbeat dad. 54 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,659 - Homer! - They know I'm kidding. 55 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,169 [ Both Groan ] 56 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,535 Okay, Bart, it's your turn to pick. 57 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:31,770 Where are we headed? Bowling? Demolition derby? P.J. O'Harrigan's? 58 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,142 Isn't that a funny name? Huh? Huh? 59 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:37,182 Hysterical. But I traded my turn to Lisa for her dessert. 60 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,946 - Oh! We did a Lisa thing last month! - [ Groans ] 61 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,022 [ Chuckles ] And I'm glad we did. 62 00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:46,091 But now I think we should do something normal people would like. 63 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,660 Why do you assume that I won't pick something fun? 64 00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:50,729 Let's see. 65 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,957 - Oh, this looks very educational. - Oh! 66 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,263 - Well, this could be quite enlightening. - Ohh! 67 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,337 - Fine, how about- - Ohh! 68 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:01,236 - She didn't say it yet! - Go ahead, sweetie. 69 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:05,038 - The book fair. - Oh, no! I'm not falling for that again! 70 00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:08,705 If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair. 71 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,784 Oh! This is perfect! 72 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,875 We're gonna go see Marmaduke? 73 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,615 No. The Smithsonian traveling exhibit. 74 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:20,022 It encapsulates America and makes history come alive! 75 00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:23,789 - What? And Marmaduke doesn't? - Sorry, Dad. My mind is made up. 76 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:27,229 This is all your fault for trading away your turn! Just for that, no dessert tonight! 77 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,925 Trade you my next turn for your dessert. 78 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,332 - Deal. - D'oh! 79 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,373 Hey, how come the Smithsonian... 80 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,102 needs to be sponsored by a cell phone company? 81 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,146 I can answer that. Uncle Sam needs to spend our tax dollars on the essentials: 82 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:44,410 antitobacco programs, pro-tobacco programs... 83 00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,953 - killing wild donkeys and Israel. - Good old government. 84 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:52,252 Yeah, but corporate sponsorship cheapens our nation's treasures. 85 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,417 Actually, they're Omnitouch's treasures now. 86 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,552 We bought 'em during the last budget crisis. 87 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:05,231 [ Gasps ] Look, they have Lincoln's hat. 88 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,341 Thank God for grave robbers. 89 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,808 Oh, America's greatest citizen... 90 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,311 summed up in one piece of clothing. 91 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,644 [ Homer Gasps ] Fonzie's jacket.! 92 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:20,051 - Who's Fonzie? - Who's Fonzie? 93 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,919 Don't they teach you anything in school? He freed the squares. 94 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:28,483 How can they put a prop from a TV show next to the Bill of Rights? 95 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,721 So what's so great about the Bill of Rights? 96 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,594 It guarantees all of the basic freedoms- 97 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,964 speech, religion, the right to a speedy trial. 98 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,037 [ Homer ] Where? I don't see that. 99 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,765 - [ Alarm Buzzing ] - [ Gasps ] Dad, don't do that! 100 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,966 - [ Rips ] - Hmm, hmm. 101 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,943 - Get out of Archie Bunker's chair now! - [ Gasping ] Relax. 102 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,070 - I'm just boning up on the old Constitution. - [ Rips ] 103 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,378 - Oh, you're gonna regret that, pinko! - [ Yelps ] 104 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,453 Oh, I am so sick of people hiding behind the Bill of Rights! 105 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:57,546 - Look! He got chocolate on it! - I didn't mean to. 106 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,750 Look! 107 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,693 Mm-hmm. You just licked off the part that forbids cruel and unusual punishment. 108 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,162 [ Chuckles ] Beautiful. 109 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,130 Really? That much? 110 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:12,227 - It's gonna cost $1 0,000 to repair that document. - Wha- 111 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:16,866 Of course, Omnitouch understands that real money doesn't grow on trees- not these days. 112 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:20,070 Finally a company that understands my needs. 113 00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:22,579 We sure do. It's called caring. 114 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,242 - So we're even then? - Not by a long shot. 115 00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:28,787 But I have a solution that'll work out for both of us, especially you. 116 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,254 [ Man Shouts, Indistinct ] 117 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:35,157 I don't want a cellular transmitter sticking out of my roof. 118 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,991 We prefer to think of them as ''keep in touch'' towers. 119 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:40,065 It's called caring, Marge. 120 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,693 Plus you've increased Springfield's roaming capabilities 64%. 121 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,998 You gotta admit, Marge, that's a lot more roaming. 122 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,073 [ Groans ] I guess. 123 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,768 [ Grunting ] 124 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,368 Hey, this is pretty comfortable. 125 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,970 That Andy Capp was onto something. 126 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,414 Uh! That antenna is an eyesore. 127 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:03,888 Just pretend it's a tree, honey. Or as we say at Omnitouch, a progress tree. 128 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,585 Yeah? Well, I hope it doesn't hum too loud. I have a ton of homework to do. 129 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,888 And if I don't finish it by- [ Screams ] 130 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,692 - My room.! - [ Electronic Beeping ] 131 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,359 What? I heard a yell! Did you touch a wire? 132 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,936 What happened to my room? 133 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:21,666 Nothing. They just needed a place to put all the electronic gizmos... 134 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,607 and I know how much you like that science-y stuff. 135 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:28,146 - So I de- - You gave away my room? 136 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:32,684 Come on, Lisa. Try and see this from the Omnitouch Corporation's point of view. 137 00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:37,051 Your father's right, Lisa. Cellular service is about communication and unity- 138 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,522 community. 139 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,890 - Hmm? - [ Groans ] 140 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,105 I can't believe you did this, Dad. 141 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,504 Why didn't you put that thing in your room? 142 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,803 Hmm. That thought never occurred to me. 143 00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,878 Funny how your mind works in a crisis. 144 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,471 It's just until we pay off Daddy's desecration of a priceless artifact. 145 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:06,313 I thought I'd never have to say that again. 146 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,354 But where am I supposed to live? 147 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,652 Lisa, what's your favorite movie? 148 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,953 Until you taped over it, The Little Mermaid. 149 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,461 That's right, The Odd Couple.! 150 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:21,431 So meet your comically mismatched roommate, Bart Simpson! 151 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:26,028 ## [ Scatting TVTheme ] 152 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,606 I'm gonna make your life a living hell. 153 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,676 - [ Groans ] - ## [ Continues ] 154 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,180 But, Dad! 155 00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,116 Whoa! 156 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,118 ##[ Fades, Ends ] 157 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:44,849 Okay, if you're gonna live in my room, you're gonna obey my rules. 158 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,357 One: I am Bart, thy god. 159 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,826 If I am out, the Krusty doll is thy god. 160 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:52,489 If the doll's with me, you will worship the night-light. 161 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:55,362 - Should the night-light be unable to fulfill its duties- - Shut up. 162 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,562 - You shut up! - [ Sighs ] This is not gonna work. 163 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:01,606 - No, you shut up! - Ohh! 164 00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,078 [ Sucking ] 165 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,308 - [ Skinner] Hello, Mother? - [ Gasps ] Maggie? 166 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:16,149 - Seymour, you were supposed to call me three minutes ago. - Ooh! 167 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,418 Sorry, Mother. I was driving through a tunnel, and my cell phone wouldn't work. 168 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:23,120 I don't want you driving through tunnels! You know what that symbolizes! 169 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:27,461 - But, Mother, it cuts 90 minutes off my drive. - No tunnels! 170 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,331 Homer, we're picking up cell-phone calls over the baby monitor. 171 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:33,530 - Ooh! Anything spicy? - Oh, that's not the point. 172 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:38,133 We should report this to an Omnitouch care rep. People's privacy is at stake. 173 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:43,477 - Great. I'm gonna eat mayonnaise. - [ Groans ] 174 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,151 [ Squeaking ] 175 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,244 - Bart, stop it! - Stop what? 176 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:54,224 - Squeaking that chair. - Hey, that's what I do in my room, Lise. I squeak my chair. 177 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:58,627 [ Grunts ] Oh, quit it, quit it, quit it, quit it! 178 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:03,964 Well, well, if it isn't Frick and Frack, Jack and Jill, Fred and Ethel, the Three- 179 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,766 Dad, will you please tell Bart to stop squeaking his chair? 180 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:10,774 - I'm trying to do my homework! - Bart, stop squeaking your chair. 181 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,811 If you've got to do something, click this pen. 182 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:16,347 - [ Clicking ] - No-o-o! 183 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,440 - Hey, that looks like fun. - Race ya. 184 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,746 You're on! Lisa, you play winner! 185 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,312 [ Laughing ] Come on, come on! 186 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,254 I'm gaining on ya! [ Laughing ] 187 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,850 Oh, honey, you missed a great race. 188 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,419 Bart was winning. Then he said, ''This is stupid.'' And he stopped, and I won! 189 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,830 Dad, I am trying to do my homework. 190 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:40,133 Hmm. Hey, you're mad at me. That wasn't your mayonnaise, was it? 191 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:43,140 Dad, why did you have to take away my room? 192 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:46,268 Maybe you'd feel better if we watched some TV together. 193 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,576 - [ Groans ] I just want to study! - That's no fun. 194 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,912 - It is to me. - No, it's not. 195 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,714 Dad! 196 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:58,517 Ooh, here's something you'll like: When Animals Attack Magicians. 197 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:02,253 - [ Man ] Pick a card. Any- [ Screaming ] - [ Chimpanzee Screeching ] 198 00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,329 - No, no.! Pick another card.! - [ Laughing ] 199 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,694 - That's awful. - Awful entertaining. 200 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,734 - [ Stomach Rumbles ] - Oh, my stomach hurts. 201 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,532 [ On Monitor] Hey, it's Krusty. I need you to get me out of another jam. 202 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,869 I picked up this chick last night. At least I thought she was a chick. 203 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,776 Showbiz is so fascinating. 204 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,749 [ Groans ] Mom, I don't feel so good. 205 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,820 - [ Stomach Rumbling ] - [ Groaning ] 206 00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:31,685 - What is it, honey? - My tummy really hurts. 207 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:35,750 Somebody wants Mommy to change baby's diaper! 208 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,988 Is that somebody you, Homer? 209 00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,792 - Yes, it is! - [ Sucking ] 210 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,266 - Okay, then you can take Lisa to Dr. Hibbert's. - Great. 211 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:48,102 Maybe on the way back, we can swing by the demolition derby and have a nice talk. 212 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,175 [ Chuckles ] Sounds great. 213 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:54,576 - [ Rumbling ] - Lisa, I'm afraid your tummy ache may be caused by stress. 214 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,513 - Well, that's a relief. - [ Chuckles ] Yes. 215 00:11:57,616 --> 00:12:01,347 Anyway, when it comes to stress, I believe laughter is the best medicine. 216 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:05,390 You know, before I learned to chuckle mindlessly, I was headed for an early grave myself. 217 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,982 [ Chuckling ] 218 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:12,053 - Give it a try, honey. - [ Chuckles Weakly ] 219 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:15,600 Oh, now, you call that chuckling? Come on, child! Force it! 220 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,602 - I'm really not the chuckling type. - It's true. 221 00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:22,435 I'm always making clever noises, and she never chuckles at 'em. 222 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,374 Well, I could prescribe some harsh antacids... 223 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:30,313 but I think Lisa would benefit more from some herbal teas or aromatherapy. 224 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,783 Yeah. You know, some of that all-natural stuff is really very well- 225 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,855 Oh, no, you don't! Screw that touchy, queer-y crap! 226 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,924 We'll take the harsh antacids. 227 00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:41,891 Nothing's too good for my little girl. 228 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:43,894 I sure settled his hash. 229 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:47,727 Imagine that quack thinking he'd try one of those crazy new age cures. 230 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,858 They're not all crazy, Dad. 231 00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:52,062 Sure they are, honey. 232 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:55,572 You know,just because you say something is crazy, doesn't make it so. 233 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,871 And just because you think museums are boring and demolition derbies are fun... 234 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,276 doesn't make that true either! 235 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:03,974 I'm sorry, Lisa. 236 00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,142 Oh, it's not your fault. 237 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:09,881 I know we love each other, Dad, but we're two very different people. 238 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,447 And much as I hate to say it, as time goes on... 239 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,494 we'll probably just drift further and further apart. 240 00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:20,292 Oh, Lisa, honey, I won't ever let that happen. 241 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,026 Oh. 242 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:27,872 Dad, you don't have to go to a new age store just for me. 243 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,941 I know you think this stuff is stupid. 244 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,010 Nah, you must be thinking of your mother. 245 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:34,170 I'm always exploring alternatives... 246 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:38,808 and expanding my horizons into realms of- 247 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,909 - Can't we just go in? - [ Bell Jingles ] 248 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,488 Oh, good! I've been meaning to buy a- 249 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,854 ''Dream catcher''? Give me a break! 250 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:51,293 - I just wish you could keep an open mind about other cultures. - Other cultures are fine. 251 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:55,333 I'm just saying I can get along in life without a ''toothbrush.'' 252 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:58,835 - Namaste. - And a-ooga-booga to you too. 253 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,065 May I tell you about our white-light specials? 254 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,937 Absolutely not. My little girl's tummy hurts. 255 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,637 - Do you have anything to stop her complaining? - Dad! 256 00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:09,941 Here. Try this wheat grass juice. 257 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,411 - [ Gags ] - Well, your tongue works. 258 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,353 Mm-hmm. Hmm. Let's try some Oil of Lorenzo. 259 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:19,549 And what's keeping Joan Rivers alive? 260 00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,786 Fetal grindings. But I have a better idea. 261 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,063 - Oh, no. No freezing. - No, Mr. Simpson. 262 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,828 This is a sensory-deprivation tank. 263 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:34,065 It blocks out all the external distractions that bombard our souls. 264 00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:35,970 - Can you pee in it? - I'll take two hours. 265 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,906 Me too. 266 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:40,410 You're about to take a journey into the mind. 267 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:44,004 You may see and experience things that are strange and frightening. 268 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,983 But remember, they can't physically harm you... 269 00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:50,715 - though they may destroy you mentally. - So what? 270 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,656 [ Thinking ] Ah, this is kind of relaxing. 271 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,960 But it's so hard to turn off my brain. 272 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:06,060 I have to stop thinking, starting now. 273 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,469 Hey, it worked! Oh, no. That's thinking. 274 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,800 [ Thinking ] Boring. 275 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,547 - [ Lenny ] Well, dish! - Groundskeeper Willie- You know, the guy in the skirt? 276 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:25,590 He bought himself a mail-order bride. But he's too cheap to pay the C.O.D., right? 277 00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,387 So she's still in a crate down at the post office. 278 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:31,486 - You wanna go have a look-see? - Ooh, this sounds juicy. 279 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,431 Hmm. 280 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,797 Hey, Milhouse, want to have some fun? 281 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,302 Uh, okay! 282 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:46,602 How am I supposed to hallucinate with all these swirling colors distracting me? 283 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,138 Hey. 284 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,740 Ah, it's a ball of yarn. 285 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:55,820 That's funny. I feel like batting it around. 286 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:58,549 Whoa! I have a paw! 287 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:00,557 [ Scampering ] 288 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,821 Oh, my gosh. I've entered the body of our cat. 289 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,830 [ Sucking ] 290 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:10,959 Aah.! Maggie.! Hey, hey.! Get your sticky hands off me.! 291 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:13,538 Ow.! [ Hisses ] 292 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,267 Oh, bad cat! Leave her alone! [ Groans ] 293 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,343 - [ Thuds ] - [ Screams ] 294 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:23,011 Wow. My mind just created that out of nothing. 295 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:26,482 This tank is releasing the full potential of my brain. 296 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:30,146 ## [ Singing Novelty Song ] 297 00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,827 Come on, come on! I need some gossip here! 298 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,161 - [ Static ] - Where is everybody? Does this town shut down at 5:00? 299 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:43,325 - [ Bart, Disguised Voice ] Frankie, it's me, Killer. - Huh? 300 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,370 I just busted out of prison and the cops are after me. 301 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,736 - [ Siren Wailing ] - Oh, talk to me, baby. 302 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,901 - Okay, I think I lost 'em. - [ Siren Stops ] 303 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,241 - [ Mooing ] - Uh-oh. A cow. 304 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,314 - [ Caps Popping ] - Eat lead, Bossy. 305 00:16:56,415 --> 00:17:01,375 Listen, Tony. I need someplace to hide. Oh, this place looks good. 306 00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:05,583 - 7 42 Evergreen Terrace. - [ Gasps ] 307 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:10,754 Now, to open the door and kill whoever's inside. 308 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,764 - I'll start by turning the knob. - [ Gasping ] 309 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,097 [ Chuckles ] Gotcha, Mrs.- Ow! 310 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:20,035 - [ Groans ] - Oh, my God. 311 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,471 [ Laughing ] Oh, Mom. 312 00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:25,008 You are a prankster's dream. 313 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,078 Wow, you really clobbered him. 314 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:29,704 That was a horrible trick to play on your mother. 315 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,840 Yeah? Well, it serves you right for eavesdropping. 316 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:37,081 [ Groans ] Well, I guess we both learned a lesson. 317 00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,248 But if anybody asks, you hit him. 318 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,326 [ Milhouse Groaning ] 319 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:46,421 But you can'tjust repossess our merchandise. The I Ching said I had six months till bankruptcy. 320 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:49,968 Hey, channel somebody who gives a damn. 321 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,697 Can't we discuss this over some sympathy tea? 322 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,206 Sorry. The teas are already on the truck. 323 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,300 There's only enough room on the truck for this one. 324 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,676 - We'll get the other one later. [ Straining ] - [ Straining ] 325 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,717 Hey! This piece of junk is finally doing something. 326 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,719 [ Chuckles ] 327 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:12,154 - Oh, man, this is heavy! - You should lift with your legs. 328 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:15,124 Yeah, aw, screw it. I got health insurance. Oh! 329 00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,732 Abracadabra. 330 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:27,602 - The crystal says your baby shall be a girl! - Shut up! 331 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,546 Whoo! Sensory deprivation kicks ass! 332 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:43,210 - [ All Gasp ] - Oh, Neddie, you almost hit that coffin! 333 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:47,486 [ Gulps ] Leapin' Lazarus! Is this what passes for eternal rest these days? 334 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,994 - Rod, go get Daddy his buryin' shovel. - Yea! 335 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:54,329 You sure buried him deep, Daddy. 336 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:59,234 [ Chuckles ] Not so deep the Lord can't find him... and judge him. 337 00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:02,501 This is the best birthday I ever had. 338 00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:07,241 Okay, I'm ready to get out now. 339 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,644 Yoo-hoo, hippie lady! 340 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,876 Hippie lady? Hey, hippie lady! 341 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,783 [ Screaming ] What's going on? 342 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,686 [ Screaming Continues ] 343 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:25,288 Oh! Ow! Oh! This inner peace stuff is tough on the old coconut! 344 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:29,561 [ Yelping ] Hippie lady, I want to get out.! Hey.! 345 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:34,265 ## [ Humming ] Hmm! 346 00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,341 Look, Daddy, a whale egg! 347 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:41,071 Oh, geez. I am so sick of companies dumping their crud in our ocean without a permit. 348 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,273 It's not like those permits are hard to get. 349 00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,907 You're going right back where you came from. 350 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,179 But, Daddy, you're on vacation. 351 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,551 Crime doesn't take a vacation. 352 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,516 Hey, hey, hey, careful! You'll pop it! 353 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,689 [ Gasps ] It's happening again. I wonder where I'm going this time. 354 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,768 What's that? 355 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,235 Oh,yuck. That sandwich is full of meat.! 356 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,431 There's bacon. 357 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,440 Canadian bacon. 358 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,511 Mexican bacon.! [ Guttural Sigh ] 359 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,311 And a mouthwatering veal chop. 360 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,185 [ Munching ] Oh, no. Now I'm Dad! 361 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:27,088 - ##[ Orchestral ] - Oh, and I'm at a stupid, boring ballet.! 362 00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:29,092 [ Yawns ] 363 00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,685 - [ Snoring ] - ##[ Stops ] 364 00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:35,961 Dad, wake up.! Your snoring is disturbing the dancers. 365 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,968 Hmm! 366 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,163 How can you embarrass me like this? [ Groans ] 367 00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,900 You won't sit through anything that doesn't have car crashes! 368 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,976 [ Homer, Lisa's Voice ] I'm sorry, honey. 369 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,068 [ Thinking ] Geez, why is Lisa so mad at me? 370 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,841 I only came to this dump so I could be with her. 371 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,109 - ##[ Resumes ] - And what happened to my big sandwich? 372 00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,117 [ Snoring ] 373 00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:58,012 [ Snorts, Yawns ] 374 00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:03,390 Uh! Boy, I can really be a pain in the butt. 375 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,793 Gee, I should cut Dad some slack. 376 00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:10,596 After all, he did take me to the ballet and the Smithsonian exhibit. 377 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:14,331 In fact, he takes me lots of places he hates. 378 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,465 ##[ Homer Singing Novelty Song ] 379 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,412 ## [ Stops ] 380 00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:25,312 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, Dad! How was it? 381 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:29,148 I went on a wild ride without ever leaving the building. 382 00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,222 - How was yours? - Pretty cool. 383 00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,655 But now, what do you say we go do something we'll both enjoy? 384 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:34,657 Oh, like what? 385 00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:42,496 Whoa! Look at that car burn! 386 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,296 Does it get any better than this? 387 00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,928 Not to me, Dad. 388 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,939 [ Crashing ] 389 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:52,169 - Oy! - [ Siren Wailing ] 390 00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:55,681 [ Man On P.A.] And here comes the ambulance.! 391 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:57,239 [ Man On P.A.] And here comes the ambulance.! 392 00:22:41,059 --> 00:22:43,027 - [ Murmuring ] - Shh! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net