1 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,438 Skinner! 2 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,044 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,118 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:22,021 (barney belches) 5 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,023 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:26,125 (yells) 7 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:31,764 (beeping) 8 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,102 (playing harp) 9 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:44,977 (tires screech) 10 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:47,913 D'oh! 11 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:48,914 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,482 (grunts) 13 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,988 (bart chuckles) 14 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,560 (grunts, groans) 15 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,335 ¶ 16 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,241 America faces an ominous new threat-- 17 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,077 Terrorism. 18 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,678 We must be vigilant, 19 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,781 Secure every home, every church, 20 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,684 Every kwik-e-mart and presidential library. 21 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,086 President clinton: I grew up 22 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,220 In a little town in arkansas, 23 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,221 Whose name, ironically, 24 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,689 Was terrorism. 25 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:36,528 (loud explosion) 26 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:40,299 (explosion, television static) 27 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:46,305 Ooh, there's new marshmallows in the belfast charms! 28 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,941 No! No, that's bart's cereal. 29 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:52,644 It's the only way I can get him to take 30 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,047 His "vitamins." 31 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:57,049 (sighs) 32 00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:59,051 Eat up. 33 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,386 The sum of the square roots of any two sides 34 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,122 Of an isosceles triangle is equal 35 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,923 To the square root of the remaining side. 36 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,658 That's not right. Yes, it is. 37 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,094 They're my lines as the scarecrow in the wizard of oz. 38 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,897 Okay, I'm ready for the nuclear workers convention. 39 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:15,400 It's a little sad-- the guys who did the funny skit last year, 40 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,935 Well, they're all very sick. 41 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,637 Did you pack everything you need? 42 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,972 Even better. 43 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,041 I never unpacked from the time we went to hawaii. 44 00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,147 Whoo! 45 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,749 My lava's almost cooled! 46 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,851 (sizzling) 47 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:33,952 (thump) 48 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,255 I'm sticold. 49 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:40,492 Oh, a whole weekend away from my family. 50 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,961 I can't believe I have to miss taking the kids 51 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,330 To buy gym uniforms. 52 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,399 Send me a picture? 53 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:50,969 Poor guy. 54 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,571 Salt of the earth. 55 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,945 All (chanting): Convention! Convention! 56 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,814 Convention! Convention! 57 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,283 Convention! 58 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,051 Stewardess: Oxygen masks on. 59 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,653 (muffled chanting): Convention! 60 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,421 (unmuffled): Convention! 61 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,227 (motors chugging) 62 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,666 (klaxon and siren blaring) 63 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,700 Man, I love conventions. 64 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,402 Yeah, they're the perfect combination 65 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,903 Of work and binge drinking. 66 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,806 Now, look, guys, we are here for one important reason-- 67 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,641 To get free swag! 68 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:33,045 (to "fame"): ¶ swag! I'm gonna grab forever 69 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:36,381 ¶ stuff that I really don't need, swag! ¶ 70 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,151 ¶ I'm gonna have 40 key chains 71 00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:42,387 ¶ and I don't even have 40 keys, swag! ¶ 72 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,722 Interested in learning a procedure 73 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,023 That could save your life? 74 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,325 (quietly): ¶ more free stuff, more free stuff ¶ 75 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,026 ¶ more free stuff, more free stuff ¶ 76 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,995 ¶ more free stuff uh, all I have are these spec sheets. 77 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,029 ¶ more free stuff, more free stuff ¶ 78 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,265 All: ¶ swag! 79 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,134 (grunt, thud) 80 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,940 (gasps) there's that woman I always have 81 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,309 A "same time next year" affair with. 82 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,879 And she's with her frumpy friend 83 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,748 I always have dinner with when you two disappear. 84 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,916 Mm-hmm-hmm. 85 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:11,917 (slurps) 86 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,886 Put up your nukes! (chuckles) 87 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,021 Halpern! 88 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,023 Hey-hey! The wild man of wichita! 89 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,524 I still haven't forgiven you 90 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,627 For putting that dead goat in my bed. 91 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:24,029 He wasn't dead till you rolled over on him! Ha! 92 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:24,930 (laughing): Oh, yeah. Take that. 93 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,565 In your face, boy. 94 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:27,933 Ow! Ow! Hey! 95 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,768 (angry grunting) 96 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,903 I'll kill you! You son of a...! 97 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,905 (deep panting) oh, come here, you. 98 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,574 Oh... Ah, yeah. 99 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,242 Some party, huh? 100 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,211 It could be, if we introduce 101 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,046 Sherman from I.T.... 102 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,748 To my good friend spike. 103 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,916 Halpern, what will you think of next? 104 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,752 Nothing. This is it. 105 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,121 (slurring): Hey, here's a brainstorm for you. 106 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:52,758 Check if it's plugged in before you call I.T.! 107 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,926 You think I like talking you monkeys 108 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,129 Through a password change?! 109 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,130 (grunts) 110 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,165 (laughter) 111 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,838 (slurring): To texting! 112 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,744 Hello. 113 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,513 Where's homer? 114 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:17,349 Homer, homer-- when did I see him last? 115 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,350 Geez, I don't know. 116 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,818 (vomits) 117 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,187 Yeah, homer's a great guy, but that doesn't mean 118 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:25,057 I constantly think about whether he's still alive or not. 119 00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,698 You're taking a picture of 'em in their moment of grief? 120 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:33,999 It's okay. 121 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,234 This camera has an "auto cheer" feature. 122 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,171 Aw... Aw... 123 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,173 Well, he's not in the boise morgue. 124 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,442 Maybe he was mistaken for a dead elephant 125 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,610 And flown back to kenya. 126 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,612 You're talking about my husband. 127 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,649 To spare your feelings, we'll just call him the blob. 128 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:55,187 Two to one says the blob is stuck in the water-intake pipe at the reservoir. 129 00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:59,391 Please, I need people here who are helpful and sensitive. 130 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,893 Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had some trouble 131 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,229 Getting the voice mails off the 9-1-1 line. 132 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,865 Why does everyone have to talk so fast and panicky? 133 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,001 Man (slowly and clearly): A man with a gun is in my house. 134 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,203 Gibberish. 135 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,771 (barking) 136 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,144 Hello, everyone. 137 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,246 Homie! What happened to you? 138 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,982 I overslept, lost my cell phone, missed my flight. 139 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,151 Why didn't you call us? 140 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,153 Well, all the pay phones at the airport 141 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,088 Were replaced by self-serve yogurt. 142 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,258 I ate all the cookie dough toppings a man could want. 143 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:36,261 So many cookies will never be born. 144 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,363 Well, I guess all that matters is, 145 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:41,400 Everything's back to normal. 146 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,468 ¶ 147 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:53,078 (explosion) 148 00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,685 Yes. Back to normal. 149 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,095 Dear christian god... 150 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,464 Hey! Sorry. Dear god-- 151 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,065 You know which one I mean-- 152 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,568 Thank you for returning our homie. 153 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,871 He's still got a lot of unfinished business down here. 154 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,941 Amen. 155 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,143 I'm glad you're back, dad. 156 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,079 It's hard to sleep with one unkissed cheek. 157 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,081 Yeah, it's tough being man of the house. 158 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,950 You left some big underpants to fill. 159 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,586 I didn't know they made underoos in size 52. 160 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,488 They're called superoos, son. 161 00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:39,124 With pictures of the cast of the expendables. 162 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,194 More like the expandables. (chuckles) 163 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,063 Why didn't you strangle me? 164 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,333 That kind of small-scale violence solves nothing. 165 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,968 Couldn't agree more. 166 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,470 Now to celebrate. 167 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:55,540 Ta-da! Pork chops crusted with cheeto dust. 168 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:02,113 Uh, I'll pass on the pork. 169 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,815 (spits) 170 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:10,088 I'll just enjoy these green beans with slivered almonds. 171 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,624 Mmm, so slivered. 172 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,693 Mmm. 173 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:21,600 (quietly): Bart, why is the dad I always wished for creeping me out? 174 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:25,103 I don't know. 'cause you're incapable of experiencing joy? 175 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,805 Yay. (groans) 176 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,039 Point taken. 177 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,375 Dad, what's that on your lap? 178 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:31,610 A napkin. 179 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,011 (others gasp) 180 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,781 Glad you're back, buddy. 181 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,017 You got a lot of catching up to do. 182 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,859 (grunting, panting) 183 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,328 Can I just get a glass of water? 184 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,964 Water? That stuff killed my grandmother. 185 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,600 So sad. 186 00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,541 I've been having 187 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,876 Snuggle dreams. 188 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,879 Marge, I changed in boise. 189 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,882 I'm not sure a man who eats right and doesn't drink 190 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,150 Can be good in bed. 191 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,686 Well, what made you...? You're so beautiful 192 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,889 When I cut you off in the middle of a question. 193 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,991 (both moaning) 194 00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,595 (gasps) oh. Oh, my. 195 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,363 What's that thing you're doing? 196 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,899 Homer (sultrily): Moving my body. 197 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,235 Marge (chuckling): Oh. 198 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,939 (humming happily) 199 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,508 Don't you think it's weird that dad stopped eating pork 200 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,043 And drinking beer? 201 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,411 Who cares what happened? 202 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,079 Daddy's back. 203 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,814 (grunts) 204 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,617 (humming happily) 205 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:57,095 Something happened to dad on that trip. 206 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,097 This is worse than when he went to new orleans 207 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,266 And came back with a southern accent. 208 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,902 (deep southern accent): Uh, how y'all doin'? 209 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,171 (crunch) 210 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,474 (dog barking in distance) 211 00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,977 Chief wiggum, how come every time there's a terrorist chatter 212 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,245 In this town, you come to me? Lay off, apu. 213 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,247 When I look at people, I don't see colors. 214 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,117 I just see crackpot religions. Chief, is there 215 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,653 Really a terrorist threat to springfield? 216 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,923 Yeah. I got a very important phone call. 217 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,925 (phone rings) yello? 218 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,727 Man: Is this line secure? 219 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,296 Uh, it's a little jiggly but it'll hold. 220 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:35,100 We got intel-- uh, that's short for a word I don't know... 221 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,302 Intelligence? I don't believe so, no. 222 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:41,439 Anyway, this intel says that someone in town has been turned 223 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,942 And they're working for terrorists. (gasps) 224 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,078 Now, I got to go check my other suspects. 225 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,847 Uh-huh. 226 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:51,049 But I may be back. 227 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,655 Huh? 228 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,658 (gasps) dad's kneeling on a prayer mat. 229 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,327 He doesn't believe in kneeling. 230 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,930 (chanting indistinctly) 231 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,034 Huh? It looks like he's praying. 232 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,771 To the east. The middle east. 233 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,372 Mecca. 234 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:23,515 (quietly): He's targeting the nuclear plant. 235 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,188 Meow? 236 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,524 If you are a cat, prove it. 237 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,527 Do you hate mondays, like garfield? (screeches) 238 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,363 And do you love lasagna, like me? 239 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,898 Meow. 240 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,000 Okay then. 241 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,234 (humming happily) 242 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:49,407 Mom, I have to tell you something about dad, 243 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,709 Something big! 244 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,912 I know. He's changed. 245 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,013 Exactly. 246 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,314 For the better. 247 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,016 And men don't change that way. 248 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,318 But-but... Do you know what we're doing on Sunday? 249 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,088 Brunch with the hibberts. Then the tile store. 250 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:07,358 He's like a husband in a widow's memory-- perfect. 251 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,161 (grunting) 252 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,163 Perfect. 253 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,265 Perfect. 254 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:22,073 (beeping) 255 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,509 (phone rings) fbi. 256 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,778 I think someone I love is a terrorist. 257 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,279 Does that make me crazy? 258 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,281 No, no. Not at all. 259 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:33,284 It took me two hours to get home. Traffic was crazy. 260 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,086 Are you people talking about me? 261 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,322 No. We're not even here right now. 262 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,301 742 evergreen terrace. I'll be right there. 263 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,237 And don't believe what you've heard about me. 264 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,306 I haven't heard anything about you except from you. 265 00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,078 Hanging up the receiver, eh? 266 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,046 (gasps) how much did you hear? 267 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:03,448 How much did you say? 268 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,549 Nothing, really. 269 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,751 So I heard half of nothing. 270 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:09,788 Dad, you're scary when you're calm and focused. 271 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,457 Lisa, I'll miss you when this is all over. 272 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:13,925 When what's all over? 273 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,927 This conversation. (chuckles nervously) 274 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,929 See you on the other side. 275 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,330 What other side? 276 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,266 Of the house. Where the fireplace is. 277 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,934 We're toasting marshmallows. 278 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,903 Marsh... 279 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,205 Mallows. 280 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,284 I'm bart simpson. Who the hell are you? 281 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:41,085 Agent crawford, fbi. 282 00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:43,321 You guys know I don't talk to field agents. 283 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,123 Get your boss on the phone. 284 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,926 I'm not here for you. I'm here for your dad. 285 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,928 What do you want with his dad? 286 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,462 Go back to sleep, milhouse. 287 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,964 How do you know my name? 288 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,400 I didn't. But I do now. 289 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,603 Don't talk. Okay. 290 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,171 I want you to know I'm the best there is 291 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,273 At finding out what you're up to. Ooh. 292 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,475 I can torture you. I can give you incredible sex. 293 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,778 Or you can just tell me what I want to know. 294 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,780 What was the first one again? I see. 295 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,548 You're stupid. Hey. 296 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,550 I'm the one in bed with two beautiful women. 297 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,551 (gasps) 298 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,487 You think I'm beautiful? Oh! 299 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,456 In a breaking-and-entering kind of way. 300 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,458 Well, give me something, or I'm not leaving. 301 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,160 (snoring) 302 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:25,663 Let's just say I've got to get to work on time. 303 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,900 And if you knew me, you'd know just how odd that sounds. 304 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,002 Who are you talking to? 305 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,470 No one. 306 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,640 You're in too deep, annie. Get out. 307 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,642 Are you real, or my imagination? 308 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,144 Either way, my advice is sound. 309 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,182 I love my job. 310 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:48,686 Homer (à la islamic call to prayer): ¶ it is the climax 311 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,588 ¶ what everything's been 312 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:54,926 ¶ buil... 313 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,661 ¶ di-ing to 314 00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:01,766 ¶ hope it pays off for you 315 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,067 ¶ ooh-ooh-ooh. 316 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,702 (beeping) 317 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,104 What you got there, homer? 318 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,538 Weird thing under a tarp. 319 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,108 That's what I thought. Have a good one. (laughs) 320 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,944 You laugh now, but you won't be laughing soon. 321 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,913 He's right, because now I go back 322 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,248 To remembering that my cat just died. 323 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,918 He's in. (knocking) 324 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,720 One sunrise burrito, please. 325 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:22,720 Fine! 326 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,760 Female voice: Facial recognition required. 327 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,061 (high-pitched whirring) 328 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,030 Welcome, mr. Burns. 329 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,044 (grunts) dad? 330 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,812 Huh? How'd you get in here? 331 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,081 Girl scout cookies get you in anywhere. 332 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,616 Please don't do this, dad. 333 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,885 I don't know what horrors you saw in boise, 334 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,120 But it's not worth blowing up everyone you love. 335 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,755 I'm not blowing up the plant. 336 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,990 (chuckling): Oh. 337 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,558 Just harmlessly stopping it 338 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,961 From doing more damage to mother earth. 339 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,495 Is that something 340 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,431 Your terrorist masters told you to tell me? 341 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,999 (sighs) yes. 342 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:11,302 My terrorist masters are always talking about you, lisa. 343 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:15,707 I missed my flight, so I got in a van... 344 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,581 ...With some eco-friendly activists. 345 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,750 They wanted gas, grass or ass, 346 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,152 And, brother, I had the ass. 347 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,588 They taught me something I found shocking. 348 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,758 Pigs aren't happy to be made into pork chops. 349 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,927 This t-shirt lied to me. 350 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:39,764 And they also gave me an alcohol detox. 351 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,899 ¶ nothing's shakin' on shakedown street ¶ 352 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,170 ¶ used to be the heart of town 353 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:51,109 ¶ don't tell me this town ain't got no heart... ¶ 354 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,011 Oh! Oh! 355 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:56,714 Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, 356 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,018 And it's only the end of the first verse! 357 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,186 Lisa: But I saw you praying to mecca. 358 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:05,056 Lisa, I've never prayed to a city in my life, 359 00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:07,992 And if I did, it would be hershey, pennsylvania. 360 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:11,129 I was kneeling on the affirmation rug they gave me. 361 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,032 See? 362 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,500 (rhythmically): Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 363 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,035 Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 364 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,236 Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 365 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,838 But wait, wait, wait. What is this? 366 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,974 Lisa, the most horrible truth of all is, 367 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,844 The plant where I work poisons our water and our air. 368 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,980 I've told you that a million times. 369 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:32,850 Aw, sweetie, you told me a thousand things a million times. 370 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,520 Even with a brain the size of a dinosaur's, 371 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,221 I couldn't take that in. 372 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,990 Anyhoo, this canister 373 00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:42,060 Is full of spoiled milk and utility-grade chicken, 374 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,862 Both sold to me by apu this morning. 375 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,064 When I release it 376 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,032 Into the ac system, 377 00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,201 It'll stink up the plant forever. 378 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:53,371 No one can use it, but no one gets hurt. 379 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,040 Just like when I smell up the toilet. 380 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,041 (knocking) (gasps) huh? 381 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,043 (grunting) 382 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,044 (door opens) 383 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,112 There he is. 384 00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,947 Use your fattest handcuffs. 385 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,949 Hey. Uh, it's not what you think, lou. 386 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,117 Lou, lou, lou. 387 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,118 (ululating): Lou-lou-lou-lou-lou...! 388 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,352 (groans) 389 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,455 I can complete my dad's mission 390 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,957 Just like george w. Bush. 391 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,960 I can't shoot a little girl. 392 00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,462 (gunshot) ah, damn it! 393 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,930 There's some things they just don't teach you 394 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,667 In the police academy... Movies. 395 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:26,137 (distorted grunting) 396 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:30,942 (electronic trilling) 397 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,543 (rhythmic chugging) 398 00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,913 We did it, dad. We did it. 399 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,115 We sure did. 400 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,116 (grunts) 401 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,485 You weren't shot. 402 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,154 No, I was just up late watching a movie. 403 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,923 Something with william holden and... 404 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,358 (snoring) 405 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,132 Your plan failed. 406 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,566 Thank god this plant has never had 407 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,101 A functioning air conditioner. 408 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,736 Wait a minute, burns. 409 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,471 You don't have a functioning ac system at a nuclear plant? 410 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,073 That's against the law. 411 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:03,608 That's impossible. 412 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,343 Smithers, didn't we move this plant to china? 413 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,844 Sir, that's two years from now, 414 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,246 And you're not supposed to tell anyone. 415 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,347 Oopsie. 416 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,484 There isn't a prison made that can hold me. 417 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,686 Prisons are still made of mud and wattles, right? 418 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:19,190 No. Concrete. (gasps loudly) 419 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,626 You know, dad, just because your mission's complete, 420 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:24,662 It doesn't mean you have to go back to pork eating 421 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,964 And beer... Drinking. 422 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,133 A beer from the sky! 423 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,636 It's a sign! 424 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,204 (laughing) 425 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,340 Yeah, this equipment will pay for itself 426 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,176 In one night of binging. 427 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,049 I wish a mission could bring me closer to someone, but it can't. 428 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:48,019 Okay, it's time for me to walk alone into the sunset. 429 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,788 (gulps loudly) 430 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,290 That's better. 431 00:19:57,462 --> 00:20:00,064 (groans) 432 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:16,781 Amazingly, the hamster's older than I am. 433 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:21,986 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 434 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,629 Shh!