1 00:00:03,895 --> 00:00:05,295 (squeals) 2 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,834 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:15,907 --> 00:00:17,975 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:19,911 --> 00:00:20,978 (Barney belches) 5 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,913 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:22,915 --> 00:00:24,982 (yells) 7 00:00:29,087 --> 00:00:30,387 (beeping) 8 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,694 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:42,399 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:45,603 --> 00:00:46,636 D'oh! 11 00:00:46,638 --> 00:00:47,637 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:49,373 (grunts) 13 00:00:50,608 --> 00:00:52,109 (electrical buzzing) 14 00:00:52,111 --> 00:00:53,276 (Homer grunts) 15 00:00:53,278 --> 00:00:54,511 MARGE: D'oh! Stupid fuse. 16 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,346 (kids groaning) 17 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:58,949 (violin music plays) 18 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:00,517 (groans) 19 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,085 Mmm! 20 00:01:05,189 --> 00:01:06,289 Maggie? 21 00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:07,791 Maggie! 22 00:01:07,793 --> 00:01:09,292 Maggie? 23 00:01:09,294 --> 00:01:10,527 Maggie! 24 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,928 Mmm! 25 00:01:14,332 --> 00:01:16,533 (honking) 26 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,537 Mmm! 27 00:01:21,639 --> 00:01:23,340 (groans, growls) 28 00:01:23,342 --> 00:01:24,674 (grunts) 29 00:01:24,676 --> 00:01:26,576 (honking) 30 00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:29,379 (growling) 31 00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:33,183 Hmm... 32 00:01:33,185 --> 00:01:34,818 Maggie? 33 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:35,819 Maggie! 34 00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:38,555 Hmm. Hey! 35 00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:45,462 Maggie! 36 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:03,213 And it's for all these reasons and more 37 00:02:03,215 --> 00:02:05,549 that the Kingdom of Moab 38 00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:08,518 is the least interesting in the Bible. 39 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:09,920 Amen. 40 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,421 Amen! We're done! 41 00:02:13,191 --> 00:02:15,692 Allow me to introduce our guest speaker (Homer groans) 42 00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:18,195 from the ill-advised mission in Indonesia, 43 00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:21,364 the Reverend Kartawijaya. 44 00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:22,532 (Bart groans) 45 00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:25,202 I know how you feel, young man. Huh? 46 00:02:25,204 --> 00:02:28,405 The children in my village are just like you. 47 00:02:28,407 --> 00:02:31,441 One boy, named Sumadi, never comes to church. 48 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:32,742 He is always tying 49 00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,544 the monkeys' tails together 50 00:02:34,546 --> 00:02:36,446 and yelling, "Tiger is gone," 51 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,582 when, in fact, tiger is there. 52 00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:42,219 Hmm! Unfortunately, Sumadi is sick now. 53 00:02:42,221 --> 00:02:44,421 What?! Su-Sumadi has a problem? 54 00:02:44,423 --> 00:02:46,957 Sumadi and others equally doe-eyed... 55 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,059 need urgent medical treatment. 56 00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:52,062 After all, we are all just children of Allah. 57 00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:55,398 I mean God. Sorry. Recent convert. 58 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,399 Poor Sumadi. 59 00:02:56,401 --> 00:02:58,635 Born in such a terrible country. 60 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,137 Now, wait a minute. 61 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,438 But good news. 62 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,741 To help him, we will now have a second collection. 63 00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:06,409 (congregation groans) 64 00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:08,411 Wasn't our sympathetic nodding enough? 65 00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:09,746 Mom, can I have some money? 66 00:03:09,748 --> 00:03:11,915 I'm sorry, honey. I'm all out. 67 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:15,152 I spent all I had lighting that candle for Great Aunt Betty. 68 00:03:16,621 --> 00:03:19,756 I hope that wasn't somebody's Aunt Betty or something. 69 00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:22,993 Dad, please? For Sumadi? 70 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:24,928 Sorry, son, I only have 20s. 71 00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:26,129 And if God needs money, 72 00:03:26,131 --> 00:03:27,664 why doesn't he just write another Bible? 73 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,499 The first one sold pretty well. 74 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,934 Does anyone remember 75 00:03:30,936 --> 00:03:33,503 when it was considered rude to talk in church? 76 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,238 Pipe down, Ned. 77 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,408 Please? 78 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:42,779 All right, son, 79 00:03:42,781 --> 00:03:44,581 but you have to pay me back. 80 00:03:47,285 --> 00:03:48,685 (sighs) Life is good. 81 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,187 Do you have my money? What? 82 00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:51,521 Do you have my money? 83 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:52,822 How could I? 84 00:03:52,824 --> 00:03:54,191 Right, right, too soon. 85 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,659 Do you have my money? 86 00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:56,860 (groans) 87 00:03:59,163 --> 00:04:00,797 Seriously, do you have my money? 88 00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:02,566 Where's my money? 89 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:04,234 Huh? 90 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:08,605 (slurping) 91 00:04:10,808 --> 00:04:11,942 Where's my money? 92 00:04:13,311 --> 00:04:15,512 Where's... my... 93 00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:18,348 mon... ey? 94 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,983 It's been a rough patch, man. 95 00:04:19,985 --> 00:04:21,718 Hope you got something to cheer me up. 96 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,187 Well, there is one fun fact 97 00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:27,190 I've been saving for an emergency situation. 98 00:04:27,192 --> 00:04:30,060 Did you know there really was a Duncan Hines? 99 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,329 Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? 100 00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:34,364 You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. 101 00:04:34,366 --> 00:04:35,532 Do you have the money? 102 00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:36,866 Money-money-money-money-mon... 103 00:04:36,868 --> 00:04:40,503 Homer, quit badgering the boy. 104 00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:43,740 Pressure's how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge. 105 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,675 I don't have any diamonds. 106 00:04:45,677 --> 00:04:47,577 Quit pressuring me! 107 00:04:49,513 --> 00:04:52,082 Money, money. I need money! 108 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,517 Would you eat anything for money? 109 00:04:54,519 --> 00:04:56,052 I guess. Who are you? 110 00:04:56,054 --> 00:04:59,022 School play. Damn Yankees. 111 00:04:59,024 --> 00:05:01,258 Children of the playground! 112 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,861 I will eat anything for money! 113 00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:06,062 Except money! 114 00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:09,332 I'll give you a quarter if you eat my gum. 115 00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:12,936 I'll give you another if you eat mine. 116 00:05:14,205 --> 00:05:16,039 Here's some orthodontic wax! 117 00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,540 (lisps): And some cinnamon! 118 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,109 Saint-John's-wort! 119 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,879 And here's something that'll make you 120 00:05:22,881 --> 00:05:25,081 forget about the other stuff. 121 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,883 Ay caramba. 122 00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:28,551 (blubbers) 123 00:05:28,553 --> 00:05:29,886 So, what else you got? 124 00:05:29,888 --> 00:05:31,388 All right, Simpson. 125 00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:36,226 20 big ones says you're not messed-up enough to eat... this. 126 00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:38,228 (laughs) 127 00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,396 (whimpers) 128 00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:41,264 (gasps) No, Bart, no! 129 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:43,233 Do it, and you'll always be known 130 00:05:43,235 --> 00:05:45,468 as the kid who ate the dead frog. 131 00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:47,737 (Homer's voice): Where's my money? 132 00:05:47,739 --> 00:05:48,905 Get my money! 133 00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:50,640 Money-money-money-money-money! 134 00:05:55,246 --> 00:05:57,180 (disgusted exclaiming) 135 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,984 (slurps, kids exclaim) 136 00:06:02,086 --> 00:06:03,920 Easiest money I ever... 137 00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:05,288 (beeping) 138 00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:08,425 Son, by rights, I should be playing banjo at your funeral. 139 00:06:08,427 --> 00:06:10,460 That frog was filled to the gills with formaldehyde, 140 00:06:10,462 --> 00:06:13,663 a highly toxic poison. (chuckles) 141 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:14,831 Here's your money, Dad. 142 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,099 What? 143 00:06:16,101 --> 00:06:17,600 Did you owe me some money? 144 00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:20,270 And, Homer, here's your bill for $4,000. 145 00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:21,338 D'oh! 146 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,139 Where's my money? You got my money? 147 00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,008 Where's my money? (chuckles) 148 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,910 Seriously, where's my money? 149 00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:36,419 Ew! It's the kid who ate the dead frog! 150 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,026 Herbivore! 151 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,627 That's someone who eats plants. 152 00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:47,497 I named the frog Herb. 153 00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:49,632 Even you won't sit with me? 154 00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:52,001 Bart, if you sit here, I'll be the boy 155 00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,804 who sat next to the boy who ate the frog. 156 00:06:54,806 --> 00:06:57,507 And I'm already the boy who shared a comb with a boy 157 00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:58,975 who threw up on the boy 158 00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:01,344 who wet his pants at the winter carnival. 159 00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:03,980 P.S. I would've given you the money. 160 00:07:03,982 --> 00:07:05,181 (groans) 161 00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,916 (tires screech) 162 00:07:08,853 --> 00:07:10,920 (school bell rings) 163 00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,227 (tires squeal) 164 00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:21,164 What's the matter, frog in your throat? 165 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,199 You're the ones that paid me to eat it. 166 00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:25,568 All we hear is: ribbit, ribbit! 167 00:07:26,337 --> 00:07:27,570 (bird shrieks) 168 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,572 (exclaiming) 169 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,742 You said this was a simple bullying job! 170 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,014 Diggs and Freedom at your service. 171 00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:39,582 Diggs is short for Digby. 172 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,185 Thanks. I'm the kid that ate the frog. 173 00:07:42,187 --> 00:07:43,520 Oh, so you're the reason 174 00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:45,622 I had to dissect a Muppet in biology today. 175 00:07:50,027 --> 00:07:52,429 Thanks for the help, man. Oh, you're welcome. At least, from me. 176 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,364 There's no way to say what the bird thinks. 177 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:56,199 Or even if he thinks, really. 178 00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:57,267 Wait, wait, wait! 179 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:58,701 Who the hell are you? 180 00:07:58,703 --> 00:08:00,537 I transferred here a few months ago. 181 00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:02,739 To this school? On purpose? 182 00:08:02,741 --> 00:08:04,541 Even after Springfield Montessori opened 183 00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:06,209 across the street? 184 00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:09,112 (gentle classical music plays) 185 00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:13,216 That place is really in your face. 186 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:15,051 I like the lack of attention. 187 00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,519 (quietly): Especially in here. 188 00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:22,459 (door creaks softly) 189 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,963 This school has a falconry club? 190 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,231 No way. 191 00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:29,732 I resuscitated it. 192 00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:31,634 I'm president, secretary treasurer 193 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,069 and faculty advisor. 194 00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:35,238 That took a lot of fancy paperwork. 195 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,408 But it was worth it to be left alone. 196 00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:39,909 Can I join? 197 00:08:39,911 --> 00:08:42,111 Hmm. I'll have to check with Freedom. 198 00:08:42,113 --> 00:08:43,246 (loud clink) 199 00:08:43,248 --> 00:08:44,914 Habemus Papam! 200 00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:46,416 We have a poop! 201 00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:48,017 It's white. You're in. 202 00:08:49,253 --> 00:08:53,289 Looks like the falconry club's back from the dead. 203 00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,124 Can the Esperanto Society be far behind? 204 00:08:55,126 --> 00:08:56,426 (chuckles): I mean... 205 00:08:56,428 --> 00:09:00,296 Cu la Esperanto-Societo esti multe malantau? 206 00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:02,098 (sighs) Two languages, 207 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,267 and somehow no one will talk to you. 208 00:09:04,269 --> 00:09:05,835 Gi estas vera. 209 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,837 Mi tre soleca. Loser. 210 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,606 The first thing to learn about falcons 211 00:09:09,608 --> 00:09:11,608 is how beautiful they are in flight. 212 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:12,775 (screeches) 213 00:09:12,777 --> 00:09:15,778 ♪ 214 00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,481 Don't fret. He'll be back. 215 00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:20,850 There's my Sky Gramma! 216 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:24,521 (mumbles) Bart's usually first in line for Taco Night, 217 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,789 but now he's muy tarde. 218 00:09:26,791 --> 00:09:28,858 (quiet gasp) Oh, is it all right to say "tarde"? 219 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,660 Mmm, hey, you've said it twice, Marge-- 220 00:09:30,662 --> 00:09:32,829 you're in pretty deep. 221 00:09:32,831 --> 00:09:33,830 Homer! 222 00:09:33,832 --> 00:09:35,798 Ten-minute rule! 223 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:36,966 Lisa! 224 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,935 (muffled): What? A rule's a rule. 225 00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,971 There he is! (gasps) 226 00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:44,541 Ah, he is just riding that thermal! 227 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:46,643 You were right about watching him fly. 228 00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,011 I thought you'd get it. 229 00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:49,546 Seat backs and tray tables, Bart. 230 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,147 We're coming in for a landing. 231 00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:52,382 (screeches) 232 00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:55,652 Wow, you don't know how impressive that is 233 00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:58,721 to a boy whose dad can't even get the dog to sit. 234 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,723 Sit. Sit. 235 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,892 Sit... 236 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,494 Sit! 237 00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:05,995 (yells): Sit! 238 00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:08,197 I don't know what that is, 239 00:10:08,199 --> 00:10:10,166 but it's not sitting! 240 00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,669 Where could Bart be? 241 00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:14,837 I saw him heading across the field after school 242 00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:18,007 with a kid a little bit older and undoubtedly wiser. 243 00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:21,210 Oh, I know what that means! 244 00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:25,515 There comes a time when a boy sneaks his first beer. 245 00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:28,518 Finally! I was beginning to think that kid was a... 246 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,253 (quietly): teetotaler. 247 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,522 Bart Simpson, at your service. 248 00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,857 More like "at your six-pack," am I right? 249 00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:36,092 (laughs) 250 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,695 It's okay if you need to take a little nap. 251 00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,063 Why would I want a nap? 252 00:10:40,065 --> 00:10:43,533 Because you're so drunk you can barely keep it together. 253 00:10:43,535 --> 00:10:44,534 I wasn't drinking. 254 00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:45,735 I was learning that nature 255 00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:47,437 isn't a complete waste of space. 256 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,038 That doesn't sound like you. 257 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,074 But it does sound like the kind of lie 258 00:10:51,076 --> 00:10:54,210 you'd make up after the first time you got blitzed. 259 00:10:54,212 --> 00:10:55,211 I met this kid. 260 00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:56,713 A little older, kind of strange. 261 00:10:56,715 --> 00:10:58,214 I don't think other people get him. 262 00:10:58,216 --> 00:11:00,550 But I just want to hang out with him all the time. 263 00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:02,785 (gasps) It's even better than I thought. 264 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:06,089 You've found your Moe Szyslak! 265 00:11:06,091 --> 00:11:08,057 In just a few short years, 266 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,226 you'll be getting your version of baked 267 00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:12,095 on your version of pot 268 00:11:12,097 --> 00:11:14,564 listening to your version of Journey. 269 00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:15,898 (laughs) 270 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:16,899 Wha...? 271 00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:18,468 What's he doing? 272 00:11:21,572 --> 00:11:22,605 (Freedom cries) 273 00:11:22,607 --> 00:11:24,307 Now, when he lands, you'll feed him 274 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:27,310 so he has positive associations with you. 275 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,112 (squawks) 276 00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:31,614 Don't worry, he's only bitten off one of my fingers. 277 00:11:31,616 --> 00:11:33,282 (gasps) (laughs) 278 00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:34,317 Just goofing on you. 279 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,219 This is the finger he bit off. 280 00:11:39,823 --> 00:11:42,592 If he starts to carry you off, slip out of the glove. 281 00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:44,160 Now tell him to fly. 282 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,662 Fly! Fly! 283 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:48,498 Come on, man! Do the wing thing! 284 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,499 (Freedom squawking) 285 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,600 I did it! He did it! 286 00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:51,934 We did it! 287 00:11:51,936 --> 00:11:52,935 Yes, Bart, that is 288 00:11:52,937 --> 00:11:54,303 how you conjugate the verb "to do." 289 00:11:54,305 --> 00:11:56,005 Well done. 290 00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:01,010 ♪ Come Saturday morning 291 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,612 D'oh! 292 00:12:02,614 --> 00:12:07,183 ♪ I'm going away with my friend ♪ 293 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,819 ♪ We'll Saturday spend 294 00:12:09,821 --> 00:12:14,424 ♪ Till the end of the day... 295 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,460 Hey! 296 00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:19,028 Bring back my bling. 297 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,497 ♪ Just I and my friend 298 00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,499 ♪ We'll travel for miles 299 00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:26,536 ♪ In our Saturday smiles 300 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:27,637 Give that back! 301 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:30,306 All I got is a hole in my face! 302 00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:32,775 (nasally): Uncle Krusty's back. 303 00:12:36,814 --> 00:12:38,514 (Freedom cries) 304 00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:40,983 Whoa! Did you teach him to do that? 305 00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:43,820 (laughs) Nobody could communicate that. 306 00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:45,888 Except maybe Gerard Manley Hopkins. 307 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,057 "I caught this morning morning's minion 308 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:49,692 "Kingdom of daylight's dauphin, 309 00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:51,994 "Dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding 310 00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:55,498 "Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding 311 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:59,202 High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing." 312 00:12:59,204 --> 00:13:01,170 Wow! 313 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,371 (frog croaks) 314 00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:04,173 I've already eaten. 315 00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:07,043 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 316 00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:09,579 Is a falcon's training leash called a creance? 317 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,646 Yes! 318 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:20,857 (grunts) 319 00:13:20,859 --> 00:13:23,693 Say something so I'll know you're not hurt. 320 00:13:23,695 --> 00:13:25,595 I'm really hurt. Phew! 321 00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:32,535 Bartholomew! 322 00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:33,736 Good to see you, old sport. 323 00:13:33,738 --> 00:13:35,104 Where's Freedom? 324 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,874 Well, my dad said don't bring home any more dogs, cats, 325 00:13:37,876 --> 00:13:39,909 turtles or snakes, but he never 326 00:13:39,911 --> 00:13:43,045 said anything about predatory birds. 327 00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,380 (muffled squawk) 328 00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:45,615 (fans cheering) 329 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:49,051 Okay, in your terms, points are like mice... 330 00:13:49,053 --> 00:13:50,219 (screeches) 331 00:13:50,221 --> 00:13:51,621 Don't interrupt. I just thought 332 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,556 it would be nice if we shared an interest. 333 00:13:53,558 --> 00:13:55,024 (Freedom screeches) 334 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,727 Ooh... 335 00:13:57,729 --> 00:14:00,596 You Korean girls know what a soldier likes. 336 00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:02,565 (squawks) 337 00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,767 Fine! But the game is much more enjoyable 338 00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:06,068 if you understand it. 339 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:08,070 Look, the Eagles and the Falcons. 340 00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:09,972 Tell me you're not interested in that. 341 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:10,973 (Freedom screeches) 342 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,074 (groans) 343 00:14:12,076 --> 00:14:13,910 I could fly, too, if I didn't have 344 00:14:13,912 --> 00:14:15,411 a wife and three kids! 345 00:14:15,413 --> 00:14:17,947 Hey, you've had a lot of visitors. 346 00:14:17,949 --> 00:14:19,949 No, I signed them myself. 347 00:14:19,951 --> 00:14:22,251 They're people I would've liked to come visit. 348 00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:24,420 Ay, caramba! 349 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:27,490 Listen, what happened in that tree? 350 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,325 Um, you want the truth? 351 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,593 Of course you do. 352 00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:31,961 You're like Diogenes. 353 00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:33,863 But with slingshot in place of lamp. 354 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,335 I wanted to fly. 355 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,337 I know it sounds a little crazy now, 356 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,639 but I suddenly thought maybe we can all fly, 357 00:14:43,641 --> 00:14:45,942 but somehow we've forgotten that we can. 358 00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:48,277 You don't still think that, do you? 359 00:14:48,279 --> 00:14:50,913 Hey, I'm not flying anywhere with this broken wing. 360 00:14:52,449 --> 00:14:54,617 Bart, here's another doctor that would like 361 00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,686 a few words with this young man. 362 00:14:56,688 --> 00:15:00,089 This hospital has another doctor? 363 00:15:04,161 --> 00:15:06,662 So they're transferring him to another hospital. 364 00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:09,532 Well, I hope he gets out soon and takes his bird back. 365 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,535 I don't care for how it circles the cat. 366 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:15,137 (cat meowing) 367 00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:17,473 He's just riding the thermals from Dad's butt. 368 00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:20,376 At least someone in this family is using them. 369 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,878 I never heard of this new hospital, 370 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,880 so I looked it up and printed it out. 371 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,548 Ooh! 372 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,049 Can I visit him tomorrow? 373 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,318 (sighs) I don't know, Bart. 374 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,987 This is one of those 375 00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:33,823 Arkham Asylum-type hospitals. 376 00:15:33,825 --> 00:15:35,224 Diggs isn't cuckoo! 377 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,726 Uh, listen, boy. 378 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,361 Maybe you should spend more time 379 00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:40,396 with your old best friend. 380 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,998 You know, Dweebler. 381 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,667 Milhouse abandoned me. 382 00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:46,502 So, why can't I go there? 383 00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:48,838 Bart, if this is what I think it is, 384 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,341 it's not a place we should ever, ever take a little boy. 385 00:15:52,343 --> 00:15:54,010 Then why is Diggs there? 386 00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:57,246 Because it's his home forever. 387 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,751 You know, Bart, 388 00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,686 just because Diggs is a little different 389 00:16:03,688 --> 00:16:06,355 doesn't mean he's not a good person. 390 00:16:06,357 --> 00:16:08,257 What would you know about friends like Diggs? 391 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,759 I have about eight of them. 392 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,527 So, how do we fix him? 393 00:16:11,529 --> 00:16:13,062 Oh, Bart. 394 00:16:13,064 --> 00:16:15,865 Diggs's problems don't have easy fixes. 395 00:16:15,867 --> 00:16:18,367 What kind of cheer-up talk is this? 396 00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:21,704 Well, sometimes it helps to know people feel for you. 397 00:16:21,706 --> 00:16:23,806 (chuckles) Want a hug? 398 00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:28,077 You hug the bedpost. 399 00:16:28,079 --> 00:16:29,378 Then I hug the bedpost. 400 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,447 That way we never hug each other. 401 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:39,889 ♪ Come Saturday morning 402 00:16:39,891 --> 00:16:43,059 ♪ I'm going away... 403 00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:44,060 Hey, Simpson. 404 00:16:44,062 --> 00:16:46,062 I heard bird boy got a new cage. 405 00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:48,564 One with rubber bars. 406 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,566 Yeah, and a rubber perch! 407 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,101 Yeah, yeah, and a... 408 00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:53,970 I get it. It sucks. 409 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,237 Really sucks. 410 00:16:55,239 --> 00:16:57,239 Rubber birdfeeder. 411 00:16:57,241 --> 00:16:59,475 Making fun of the mentally ill-- 412 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,410 real classy. 413 00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:02,411 But you guys were... 414 00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,480 We were what, Captain Sensitive? 415 00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:11,420 The rumors of my bonkertude have been greatly exaggerated. 416 00:17:11,422 --> 00:17:13,656 DSM-5 indicates paranoid schizophrenia, 417 00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,825 but that work is mired in controversy. 418 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:16,826 Mired. 419 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,160 I knew you'd escape! 420 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,162 Were you carried out by a flock of falcons? 421 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,630 I got a one-day pass. 422 00:17:21,632 --> 00:17:23,099 Were falcons involved in any way? 423 00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:26,502 I obtained the pass to enter the Springfield Falconry Contest, 424 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,337 which is what Freedom and I were training for 425 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,605 when we first met you. 426 00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:30,773 Oh, great. 427 00:17:30,775 --> 00:17:32,608 Before anything else, let me just get closer 428 00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:35,444 to the door and say, "How crazy are you?" 429 00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,847 I'm fine. My meds won't wear off till tonight. 430 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:41,283 Then I'll have Freedom tear you to shreds. 431 00:17:41,285 --> 00:17:43,119 No offense, but when a crazy guy 432 00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:45,955 pretends to be crazy, it's not funny. 433 00:17:45,957 --> 00:17:47,690 You're discounting all talk radio. 434 00:17:57,334 --> 00:17:58,801 Excellent. 435 00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:01,537 COMIC BOOK GUY: Fly, my pet, fly! 436 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:04,340 Yes! (falcon cries) 437 00:18:04,342 --> 00:18:06,642 Yes, now back to Papa. 438 00:18:06,644 --> 00:18:08,044 Yes. 439 00:18:09,679 --> 00:18:11,881 Why am I not surprised the only sport you do 440 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,517 is one where a bird brings you food? 441 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:16,685 Um, a falcon's greatest joy 442 00:18:16,687 --> 00:18:18,020 is to serve its master. 443 00:18:18,022 --> 00:18:19,989 (squawks) Fatso! 444 00:18:19,991 --> 00:18:21,490 Once again, I must point out 445 00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:22,825 that you are not a parrot. 446 00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:24,660 Fatso, fatso! Pees in the shower! 447 00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:26,896 (squawks) Shut up. 448 00:18:29,699 --> 00:18:30,866 What are you doing? 449 00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:31,867 We're up next. 450 00:18:31,869 --> 00:18:33,169 When Freedom hits the air, 451 00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,870 you and I open all the cages. 452 00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:36,172 Um... 453 00:18:36,174 --> 00:18:37,706 with our minds? 454 00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:38,741 No. 455 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,909 With this rope. 456 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,043 I'm a messed-up kid. 457 00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,578 I'm not Magneto. 458 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,747 ANNOUNCER: Diggs and Freedom. 459 00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:55,291 (all squawking) 460 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,027 "In his ecstasy. 461 00:18:58,029 --> 00:19:00,696 Then off, off forth on swing!" 462 00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:02,531 Where's my bird going? 463 00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:03,699 Wherever he wants. 464 00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:04,867 He's free now. 465 00:19:04,869 --> 00:19:07,203 If you see the stork what brings us babies, 466 00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:08,604 kill it! 467 00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:13,609 Now, Bart, I'm afraid one-day passes don't last forever. 468 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,778 And I'm probably not going to get another one 469 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,546 for quite a while. 470 00:19:17,548 --> 00:19:18,581 Wait! 471 00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:19,949 Wh-When will I see you? 472 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,884 You can't quit the falconry club! 473 00:19:21,886 --> 00:19:23,719 It's all yours, Mr. President. 474 00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:26,055 Well, I guess some delicate birds 475 00:19:26,057 --> 00:19:28,390 are safer in a cage. 476 00:19:28,392 --> 00:19:30,459 I had thought of it as a therapeutic milieu, 477 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,896 but now "cage" is stuck in my head, so thanks. 478 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,532 And thanks for being my friend. 479 00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:47,243 Bart, when I pushed you away, 480 00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:50,579 I was really pushing away the thought of losing you. 481 00:19:50,581 --> 00:19:52,815 How long did it take you to think that up? 482 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,750 Two hours with the therapist. 483 00:19:54,752 --> 00:19:55,918 I'll take that. 484 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,586 She came in on a Saturday. 485 00:19:57,588 --> 00:19:59,989 Missed her kid's karate demonstration. 486 00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,323 He was going up a belt. 487 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:02,658 Enough! 488 00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,667 Mom, you didn't cook the falcon? 489 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:14,003 Of course not. It's just duck. 490 00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,671 Aw. Aw. 491 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,007 (munching loudly) 492 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:20,075 Pass the peas, please. 493 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,581 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 494 00:21:05,989 --> 00:21:08,057 Shh!