1 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,338 Oh, no. 2 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,944 (exclaiming) 3 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,350 (school bell ringing) 4 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:21,987 (barney belches) 5 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,822 (whistle blows) 6 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,091 (yells) 7 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,563 (beeping) 8 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,871 (playing the blues) 9 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:43,475 (playing the blues) 10 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,877 (tires screeching) 11 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,646 D'oh! 12 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:48,680 (tires screeching) 13 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,882 (grunts) 14 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:50,916 (yells) 15 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,551 (grunts) 16 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,554 (screams) 17 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,090 (screaming) 18 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,428 (chuckles) 19 00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,668 D'oh! Ooh! 20 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,606 (groans) 21 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,813 (mouth groans) 22 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:25,284 Ooh! 23 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,254 (gasps) 24 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,359 (belches) 25 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,129 (heart beating) 26 00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:41,533 ¶ ¶ 27 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,469 (squishing, blurping) 28 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,473 Why, you little...! 29 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,807 (homer and bart grunt) 30 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,691 Huh...?! 31 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:12,097 Eh, welcome fellow barkeeps, gin-slingers, and beer jerks. 32 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:15,434 We are all here because drinkin' in our bars is down. 33 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:18,837 Mom-and-pop bartenders can't compete with big box stores 34 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,306 Like booze barn and hooch city. 35 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,475 (bell dinging) 36 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,010 (all clamoring) 37 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,778 Uh, folks, this is the owner 38 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,447 Of the airport bar speaking. 39 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:31,750 Uh, we're experiencing some financial turbulence. 40 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,018 Uh, please remain calm. 41 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,653 Now let's watch this informational video 42 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,190 That'll help save our business. 43 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,359 Thanks, cap. 44 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,795 Now what I'm proposing is a superhero pub crawl. 45 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,998 Our clientele dress up in costume 46 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,666 And go drinking from bar to bar. 47 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,170 Their masks make 'em feel uninhibited and invulnerable. 48 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,172 (all murmuring positively) 49 00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,473 Yeah, and that's not all. 50 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,441 Why don't you tell 'em about it, moe? 51 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,443 Yeah, you got it, moe. 52 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,946 We can make up superhero drink names and charge 'em double. 53 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,848 Like, uh, nick fury, agent of schnapps; 54 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,716 Sex in the batmobile; 55 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,984 And wolveriskey. 56 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,220 Here, check out my, uh, portfolium here. 57 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,195 (all clamoring, cheering) 58 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,964 Whoo! Yeah! 59 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,540 Flame on! (belches) 60 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,542 (gasps) oh-god-oh-god-oh-god! 61 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,513 I can't breathe! 62 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,248 No, no, no! 63 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,550 Why do they call this a yard of ale? 64 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,985 Easy. After you drink one, 65 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,753 You're passed out in your yard. 66 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,155 Hmm. 67 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,072 (drunkenly): Well, better get home. 68 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,275 The delightfulness ended hours ago. 69 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,844 Homer, the best thing for you to do 70 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,947 In this situation is keep drinking. Heh. 71 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,921 (homer moaning) 72 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,923 (groaning) 73 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,125 (otto laughs) 74 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:23,428 Oh, why are you doing this to me, booze? 75 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,098 I drank every kind of you! 76 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,532 See ya, homer! Bye, dad! 77 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,735 Have a good day, you two! 78 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,770 Don't be me! 79 00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:40,312 There's my dad! 80 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,149 Wait, I think I just sucked up a dollar! 81 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,851 (grunting) 82 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,153 José, hit the switch! 83 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,888 We are not all josés, man. 84 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,657 (other kids laugh) 85 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,429 Oh! Art. 86 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,464 Simpson! Smock up! 87 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,166 Every time I do art, 88 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,235 Some do-gooder teacher sends it straight to a therapist. 89 00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,737 Your stuff is pretty disturbing. 90 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,839 I've never acted on any of it. 91 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,108 You will take art, you will enjoy art, 92 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,645 And you will make something in a kiln your mother can use. 93 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,215 Oh... (groans) 94 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,087 Maggie! Why'd you do that? 95 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:28,660 Oh, I just came in to take out the trash! 96 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,263 And you shall leave immortal! 97 00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,365 Also, take out the trash. 98 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,133 Honest! 99 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,868 Inspiring! 100 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,171 Yes... Necessary! 101 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,807 Oh, milhouse-ian! 102 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,876 Oh, bart, it's wonderful! 103 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,545 Really? Wonderful? I just drowned 104 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,013 A grasshopper in paint 105 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,815 And let him crawl on the paper till he died. 106 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,149 You know what that's called? 107 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,485 Mixed-media conceptual art. 108 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,721 No, it's not, because I hate art. 109 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,856 Oh, then it's protest art! 110 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,558 Stop encouraging me! 111 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,461 I will admire you from afar...! 112 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,795 (exasperated grunt) 113 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,731 (gasps) 114 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,669 Shauna? What are you doing here? 115 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,138 Training for the olympics. 116 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,174 I gotta find a way to get rid of my art teacher. 117 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,743 Easy. Voodoo. 118 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,745 Is there a voodoo queen you can direct me to? 119 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,681 Oh, yeah. She lives in a trailer down by yogurtland. 120 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,682 Now kiss me. 121 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,317 I wanna make somebody mad. 122 00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:26,551 (grunting) 123 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,886 What are you doing?! 124 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,756 What's my no-good daughter up to now? 125 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,695 Now you have everyt'ing you need for the voodoo. 126 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,363 Would you like a bag? 127 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,231 Yes, ma'am. 128 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:42,000 Paper or plastic? 129 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,502 Uh, plastic. 130 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,671 Just like the chicken foot say you would! 131 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,614 Okay, did you get trunch's dna? 132 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,116 Yeah, got it out of her purse. 133 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,551 (chuckles) 134 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:00,685 How'd you do that? 135 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,454 Art teachers don't have a desk. 136 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:05,624 They just throw their purse anywhere. 137 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:09,194 Voodoo spell, voodoo spell, 138 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,763 Seagull beak and bone of mel, 139 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,732 Purple heart and tear of chum... 140 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:14,933 (grunts) 141 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,970 Just had to be tear of chum. 142 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,707 Send her home with aching tum! 143 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,946 Oh, right, we need one more thing from her purse. 144 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,548 I've got these. 145 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:33,251 Hmm, she's got tickets to the play god of carnage. 146 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,486 Orchestra?! 147 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,455 On an art teacher's salary? 148 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,790 That's black magic! 149 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,659 Where's mrs. Trunch? 150 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,727 I need to know the correct density of "points" 151 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,463 In my pointillism. 152 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:47,499 Mm, sorry, but I don't think 153 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:50,135 We'll be seeing much of trunch today. 154 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,003 Yep, I cast a voodoo spell on her. 155 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,672 I won't bore you with the dark details, 156 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,908 But let's just say she's in no condition for teaching. 157 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,809 (gasps) 158 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,944 (disappointed): Oh... 159 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,779 Class, I have an announcement. 160 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:04,850 I'm afraid I can't teach today. I have a tummy ache. 161 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,851 Mm... 162 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,353 A very special tummy ache. 163 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,323 I'm going to have a baby! 164 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,691 (gasps) 165 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,594 Aah! Bart simpson got a teacher pregnant! 166 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,629 (scoffing) typical ralph nonsense. 167 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,864 (milhouse panting) 168 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,533 Bart simpson got a teacher pregnant! 169 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:25,504 You happy with your two-timing boyfriend now? 170 00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,646 I admit, I did make a voodoo doll of mrs. Trunch. 171 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,315 But I just asked for a stomachache, not a baby! 172 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,385 Classic wish-maker's mistake: Vague language. 173 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,987 So I did make her pregnant? 174 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,055 Of course not. Doesn't work that way. 175 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,991 Just how do women get babies? 176 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,393 I'm not allowed to discuss that with fourth-graders. 177 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,328 Fifth grade, you get every dirty detail. 178 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,731 Do you know how embarrassed I was 179 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,000 To get a call at my arraignment 180 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,868 For my behavior during the pub crawl 181 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,236 Because of a voodoo curse 182 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,338 My son placed on his art teacher? 183 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,374 I didn't mean to make her pregnant. 184 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,075 I just hate art so much. 185 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,477 Oh, everyone does, son. 186 00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:07,512 That's why they lock it up in museums 187 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,381 Where no one will ever visit. 188 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,852 So, uh, your boy's got magic knock-up powers, huh? 189 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,854 Hey, I created three kids, 190 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,923 And no one's making a big deal of that. 191 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,191 Not true! Whenever I compliment your virility, 192 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,359 You act all weird. 193 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,762 And you are very virile. 194 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,530 Uh, yeah. Just talk about sports! 195 00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:26,731 No problem. 196 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,334 Wish I had that tom brady's libido. 197 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,936 (shudders) 198 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,738 Oh, it's amazing how many cheerios maggie drops 199 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,540 In the back seat. 200 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,375 Here you go. Put those in the trash, 201 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:40,345 Then you can help me unload the dishwasher. 202 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,348 Oh! A minute of fun, a lifetime of work. 203 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,550 I've never heard of a pregnancy like this. 204 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,751 There he is. 205 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,053 Jenny, this is crazy. 206 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,788 Nothing's crazy at this point. 207 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,190 Are you the boy that makes babies? 208 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,393 I like to think I'm the boy that makes families. 209 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,062 You see, jenny? He's just a jerk kid. 210 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,264 It's just... (sobs) 211 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,466 We've been trying so hard to start a family. 212 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:04,135 With all the money we've spent on ivf.... 213 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,538 (sobs) you have no idea! 214 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,406 Hmm, maybe I can help. 215 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,608 But it'll cost you. 216 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,475 How much? 217 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,743 Five dollars. 218 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,745 Plus one dollar haw-haw insurance. 219 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,114 Trust me, the insurance is worth it. 220 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,785 By the power of this place, 221 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,587 Make a baby with a face. 222 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,755 That's great, really. 223 00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,090 Really glad we're getting a baby 224 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,424 With a face. Thank you. 225 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,159 (tires screech) 226 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,294 Haw...! 227 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,062 No haw-haw! It worked! 228 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:31,830 (groans) 229 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:32,964 I'm pregnant! 230 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,265 Look, bart, I really, 231 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,734 I can't believe there's a connection here. 232 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,335 But, uh, we have some friends 233 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,471 Who are in the same dark place that we were. 234 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,805 Can we give them your name? 235 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,641 Only if they have five dollars. 236 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,343 Yes, right. I'll make sure that they have five dollars. 237 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,745 With them. 238 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,013 Look, I'm sorry our check bounced, man. 239 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,948 I can have the bank teller call you. 240 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,784 Just give me the cash and you'll get your driver's license back. 241 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,753 Please keep the chatter down 242 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,689 While the womb wizard is casting his spells. 243 00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,225 Ones are appreciated, people. 244 00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:04,529 Barbeque sauce and teddy bear's eye. 245 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,432 They want a baby, god knows why. 246 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,770 Homie, I can't find my spatula. 247 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,004 Can you get another one? 248 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,507 Flanders, can we borrow your spatula? 249 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,941 That was my spatula. 250 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,010 And you never bought a replacement? 251 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,478 Ah, too much aggravation. 252 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,113 We just forego flipped food. 253 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,181 D'oh! 254 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,116 (grunts) 255 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,117 Hmm. 256 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,218 (humming a tune) bart? 257 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,620 Huh? 258 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,055 Why, you little...! 259 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,323 I'll teach you to answer peoples' prayers! 260 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,526 (both grunting) 261 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:38,797 Yeah, you know, I just don't think 262 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:41,466 We're going to get in to see him today. 263 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,403 What is your problem, boy? 264 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,806 Maybe when I've got a dad who shows up in the morning 265 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,241 With no shirt on and rocks on his face, 266 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,844 It sets, I don't know, a low bar? 267 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,813 Wow, I got to take that in. 268 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,214 While I do, have some bar nuts. 269 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,749 Aren't those full of germs? 270 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,584 Eat the nuts! They're your dinner! 271 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,553 (guns click) 272 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,888 You guys are coming with us. 273 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,325 Not so fast! 274 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:11,362 Nobody comes into my bar and kidnaps two paying customers. 275 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,364 Aw, thanks, moe, I... 276 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,566 Huh? 277 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,401 I must've left my wallet at home. 278 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,602 All right, take them, take them! 279 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,603 Fill their pockets with corn 280 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,038 And toss them to the pigs. 281 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,507 Don't tell us our business! 282 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,609 (sobs) 283 00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,417 Huh? Fat tony? 284 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,685 That's right... 285 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,920 Fat homer. Hey! 286 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,857 I need your boy to make a baby. 287 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,960 Do you really need the boy's help to make a baby? 288 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,928 Just do a little of the bunga-bunga, 289 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,697 And the hotsie-totsie, 290 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,232 And the bop-bada- bop-bada-bop. 291 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,735 You sound like every doctor I've ever been to. 292 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,237 But it's not for me. 293 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,972 It's for her. 294 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,441 Meet my filly, cheesesteak. 295 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,376 The love of my life. 296 00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,444 (baby-talking, kissing) 297 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,112 Who has apple breath? 298 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,914 You has apple breath. 299 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,215 (kissing, baby-talking) 300 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,418 And this horse, 301 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,220 Who I have briefly "borrowed," 302 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,790 Is the winner of last year's springfield stakes-- 303 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,725 Rear admiral. 304 00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:17,295 So work your magic, and breed me a champion. 305 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,630 Look, fat tony, 306 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,998 I don't know what you know about voodoo, 307 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,833 But it only works on people. 308 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,934 Horses? 309 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,302 That's crazy talk! 310 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,971 You will breed me a champion by morning 311 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,441 Or it will be the last sunrise you ever see. 312 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:31,743 Don't over-promise, boss. 313 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,311 It might be overcast. 314 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,914 How'd you like a cast over your face? 315 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,317 Well, as long as there were breath holes. 316 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,753 You know, I'm just saying. 317 00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:44,289 Okay, boy, if there ever was 318 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,924 A good time for you to find out 319 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:46,991 Where babies come from 320 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,626 In the grossest way possible, 321 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,794 With your life on the line, 322 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:50,995 This is it. 323 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,764 One more thing: 324 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,766 It better be a boy. 325 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,835 (scoffs) anything else? 326 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,770 It would be helpful if he could go undercover 327 00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:01,940 With police horses and find out what they know. 328 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,014 (crickets trilling) 329 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,716 Hey, this is all your fault. 330 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,351 How is it my fault? 331 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,486 I wouldn't be here if you were more of a role model. 332 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:18,523 Pub crawls, naked frisbee golf... 333 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:22,493 I just did that because it was a series of funny words. 334 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,062 Well, it's your mediocre fathering 335 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,464 That put me on the path to hell! 336 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,465 Wha...? 337 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,700 Maybe you're right, boy. 338 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,401 It's time I was a better father. 339 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,537 And I'll start by saving us. 340 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,372 I just need to facilitate 341 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,807 Some horse intercourse. 342 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,508 Come on, buddy. 343 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,510 Just make a champion thoroughbred, 344 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,012 And we're out of here. 345 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,581 (neighs) 346 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,516 What's his problem? 347 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,886 ¶ it's raining men ¶ 348 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,889 ¶ hallelujah, it's raining men ¶ 349 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,924 (neighing) ¶ amen ¶ 350 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,059 ¶ I'm gonna go out ¶ 351 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,861 ¶ I'm gonna let myself get... ¶ 352 00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,263 (music stops) hey, you know? 353 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,698 I don't think this guy likes girls. 354 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,900 (splutters) big deal. 355 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,434 I don't like girls, either. 356 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,769 Not like that. 357 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:05,837 It's like this. 358 00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:07,538 (indistinct whispering) 359 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,407 Smithers... 360 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,509 Mr. Largo... 361 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,177 Danny kaye. 362 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,746 What? Everyone knows. 363 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,515 (neighs) 364 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,851 Now, where's she going? 365 00:15:19,853 --> 00:15:22,053 Hey, I know that horse! 366 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,054 It's sudsley! 367 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,589 Sudsley brew-right! 368 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,224 (neighs) 369 00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:29,594 That horse was instrumental in me becoming a man. 370 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:35,366 ¶ it feels like the first time ¶ 371 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:39,003 ¶ it feels like the very first time ¶ 372 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:43,541 (neighing) ¶ it feels like the first time... ¶ 373 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,214 (neighs) 374 00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,955 Ew, that tastes horrible! 375 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,490 Beer transformed that cute little boy 376 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,860 Into the man you see before you. 377 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,463 Hmm. 378 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,332 (neighs) 379 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,267 Whoa! They like each other. 380 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,437 You know, pregnant is pregnant. 381 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,238 What are you talking about? 382 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,306 We're not lost, boy. 383 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,342 Not by a long shot. 384 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,411 We just have to set the mood. 385 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,881 (gentle orchestral intro begins) 386 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,653 ¶ let them play ¶ 387 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,754 ¶ we won't look ¶ 388 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,090 ¶ we'll turn away ¶ 389 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,958 ¶ go make love ¶ 390 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,760 ¶ then eat some hay ¶ 391 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,298 ¶ we'll be dead ¶ 392 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,968 ¶ shot through the head ¶ 393 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,304 ¶ be that as it may ¶ 394 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:50,975 ¶ fat tony's horse is gay ¶ 395 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,644 ¶ I do not hear no banging ¶ 396 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:57,281 ¶ no sound of horseshoes clanging ¶ 397 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,484 ¶ roll in hay ¶ 398 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:03,121 ¶ or tomorrow we will pay ¶ 399 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,989 ¶ I don't care ¶ 400 00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:08,726 ¶ about tomorrow ¶ 401 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,495 ¶ we need ¶ 402 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:14,832 ¶ true horse love today ¶ 403 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:20,805 ¶ here's a blanket they can borrow ¶ 404 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:26,677 ¶ let them rock the night away ¶ 405 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,013 ¶ I don't really mind at all ¶ 406 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:33,317 ¶ but why must I go muck the stall? ¶ 407 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,521 ¶ roll in hay ¶ 408 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,157 ¶ roll in hay... ¶ 409 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:43,327 ¶ roll in hay! ¶ 410 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,903 (bottle shatters) 411 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,138 (grunts) 412 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,081 (steady banging nearby) 413 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,817 Ah, young love. 414 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,888 So, where is the pregnancy test? 415 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,624 Right here. 416 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,429 What does it say? 417 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,198 The pimlico plus of joy? 418 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,634 Or the maryland state fairgrounds minus? 419 00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:26,938 It's a plus! 420 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,739 We're having a baby! 421 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,141 Hey, salute! 422 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,777 I've never seen johnny tightlips so happy. 423 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,482 Simpsons, you're free to go! 424 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,050 Louie, drive 'em home. 425 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,152 Cool, another limo ride! 426 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,820 The limo's in the shop. 427 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,088 We have a loaner. 428 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,591 Bart: Ay, caramba! 429 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,892 You monster! 430 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,128 My knees will be in my throat! 431 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,531 There's another way you can go. 432 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,400 Dad? 433 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:59,437 Cheesesteak, a little advice from a mother of three. 434 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:02,840 They'll turn out the same whether you gallop or trot. 435 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,775 Teach him not to pee during parades. 436 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,544 He'll get more work. 437 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,846 (neighing) 438 00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:13,918 Now that's what I call a modern family. 439 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,154 ¶ hey, hey! ¶ 440 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,089 ¶ hey, hey! ¶ 441 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,224 ¶ hey, hey! ¶ 442 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,693 ¶ hey, hey! ¶ 443 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,028 ¶ hey! ¶ 444 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,865 (clamoring) 445 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,873 The prosecution calls sudsley brew-right! 446 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,509 (gallery murmuring) 447 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,378 Sudsley, on the night in question, 448 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,047 How many did you see the defendant kill? 449 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,983 (knocks seven times) 450 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,618 Seven in one night? 451 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,021 What kind of a monster could do that? 452 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,355 A party monster! 453 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,457 Drinking the new, convenient 454 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,893 Duff seven-pack! 455 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,963 ¶ oh, yeah ¶ 456 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,164 The duff seven-pack-- 457 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,999 One more for the road. 458 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:05,203 There's nothing symmetrical about flavor! 459 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,505 So get your seven pack today! 460 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:12,677 It looks wrong, but it is oh, so right! Oh, yeah! 461 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,245 ¶ oh, yeah... ¶ 462 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:21,652 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 463 00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:04,028 Shh!