1
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,838
(cheering)
2
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,607
D'oh!
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:09,808
(tires screeching)
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,143
(grunts)
5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,512
(clamoring)
6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,047
Okay. Next question.
7
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,549
Yes. Will there be
another simpsons movie?
8
00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:31,530
¶ ¶
9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,866
Lisa:
Our lord, buddha, says,
10
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:37,202
"the secret of existence
is to pass beyond fear."
11
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,738
My brother is about
to meet fear...
12
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,006
And as usual...
13
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,608
He won't pass.
14
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,746
Wake up, lis!
It's the last day of school!
15
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,181
(groans)
16
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,215
Wake up, maggs!
17
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,550
It's the last day of school!
18
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,252
(singsongy):
Last day of school!
19
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,720
(metal clanging rhythmically)
last day of school!
20
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,488
Found my summer hobby!
21
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,856
Banging pots together!
22
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:58,857
Don't worry, marge.
23
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,092
As a favor to you,
24
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,261
I'm enrolling
that precious little jerk
25
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,264
In this fresh air summer camp.
26
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,067
That's a prison road crew.
27
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,701
I did that last summer.
28
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:10,702
I'm not allowed back.
29
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,538
(humming)
30
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,739
(whirring)
31
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,075
Good-bye forever,
multiplication!
32
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,677
(slurps)
33
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,678
Uh...
34
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,813
Needs more numerators.
35
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,116
Ah, "July 4th..."
36
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,250
What the...?
37
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,885
No fireworks?!
38
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,522
Can't this stupid city
entertain me one night a year?!
39
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,191
The city's broke.
40
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,026
The fire department
has to raise money
41
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:35,594
By delivering pizza.
42
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,365
My baby!
43
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,934
Back ribs!
44
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,435
Marge, when you're broke,
45
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,737
That's when you got to
keep up appearances.
46
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,707
The fourth of July is the one
day a year when our city puts on
47
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,142
Her high heels and tube top
48
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,744
And leans into
america's car window.
49
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,947
(crying):
God bless her.
50
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,050
Lisa:
The last day of school.
51
00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,718
Field day.
52
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,087
When you learn to balance
an egg on a spoon
53
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,922
And run with
your leg tied to someone
54
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,791
Who wouldn't
talk to you all year.
55
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:09,094
Hey! Are you coming to the
after-school pool party?
56
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,263
Not now.
57
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,932
(giggles)
58
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,968
Aw... No fair!
59
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,303
He actually has
three legs.
60
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,139
You lay off
my son tripod!
61
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,274
He won fair and square,
62
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:26,111
Just like my twins
wheel and barrow.
63
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,780
Now, take you brother
to the face painting.
64
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,750
But don't make yourselves up
to look all freaky.
65
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,453
One, two, three, toss.
66
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:36,655
(laughs)
67
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,124
The eggs are supposed
to be tossed between students,
68
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,792
Not at the principal.
69
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,428
Once more and hurl!
Aah!
70
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,765
We will do this
until we get it right.
71
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,536
Look, do you want this to be
your last school memory?
72
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,770
(groans)
73
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,939
Pull harder!
74
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,340
What is wrong with you people?!
75
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,475
Hey.
76
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:59,278
I have thumbs, too.
77
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,048
(chiming)
78
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,083
(yells)
79
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:09,922
I like the play-doh
that comes out the back.
80
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,392
See you next June, macaroni.
81
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,794
(door latch slides shut)
82
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,736
And now the climactic
race around the school.
83
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,138
Previous winners include
84
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,239
Sideshow mel,
85
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,807
Señora bumblebee man
86
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,743
And olympian edwin moses.
87
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:32,911
I'll bet your
biggest hurdle was
88
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,513
Leaving your
beloved hometown.
89
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,348
All hurdles
are the same size.
90
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,083
Man... Who is this loser?
91
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,085
I've got a secret, bart.
92
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,386
That's good.
93
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,821
Want to know what it is?
94
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,022
No.
95
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,257
My secret is:
96
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,858
I've been training
for this race
97
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,360
And no one suspects.
98
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,428
Check it out:
99
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,296
I'm wearing a dummy tummy.
100
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,166
I'm gonna win
101
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,301
And it'll change my life!
102
00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,905
Wow!
103
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,241
Breaking that tape
cured your asthma.
104
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,275
(deep voice):
Marvelous!
105
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,610
Ha-ha-ha!
106
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,279
(guffaws)
107
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,647
(gasps)
108
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,086
(lisping):
Six on bart simpson.
109
00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,121
Both:
Two on us to win.
110
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,756
$20 on milhouse.
111
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,391
Milhouse?!
(scoffs)
112
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,460
That's a thousand-to-one odds.
113
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,929
Perhaps I should
take my action to willie.
114
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,764
(grunts)
I ain't makin' book no more.
115
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,232
I lost the deed to my shack!
116
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,134
You are late
with the rent, willie.
117
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,136
I'll have it by Friday, mr. U.
118
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,638
I swear.
119
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,939
We can handle your action.
120
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,774
(trumpet playing
in the distance)
121
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,176
Betting is now closed.
122
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:41,580
(panting)
123
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,782
And now, the 79th running
124
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,418
Of the race around the school.
125
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,153
Gun in the school!
126
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,621
What the...?
127
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,058
Just, just go.
And they're off!
128
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,926
We've got a pack of
fifth-graders on the rail,
129
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,262
Simp-son holding down the center
130
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:00,732
While database and cosine are
still testing the wind speed.
131
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,501
As the runners go
into the first turn,
132
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,902
Lewis is in the lead!
133
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,337
Followed by lovejoy's daughter,
134
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,471
Fat tony's nephew,
135
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,673
Brockman's little girl...
(screams)
136
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,274
...And jailbird's kid!
137
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,609
The frank sinatra kid...
138
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,444
Well, he's doing it his way!
139
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,747
Rounding out the pack are all
the kids that we never see.
140
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,182
What's this?
141
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,117
Milhouse takes the lead?
142
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,585
The same boy
who sprained his shoulder
143
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,354
Doing the pledge of allegiance?
144
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,789
(panting)
145
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,457
Uh-oh!
If milhouse wins this race,
146
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:26,925
We're out a fortune.
147
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,794
Don't worry.
The race takes a turn
148
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,629
Through the trees
where no one can see.
149
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,998
When milhouse gets there,
you know what to do.
150
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,100
Oh, yeah. Totally.
151
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,135
I mean, it's so obvious.
152
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,503
Just punch him!
153
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,038
Exactly.
154
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,342
Right in the nnn...
Fff... Dee...?
155
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,777
There is no wrong answer!
156
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,779
Chalmers:
And milhouse,
the boy nobody loves,
157
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,848
Is widening his lead!
158
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,350
And what does he have
to jump over?
159
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,718
Nothing, that's what.
160
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,286
I'm out of here.
161
00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:56,788
(grunting)
162
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,857
Good job, edwin.
163
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:01,893
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
164
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,329
And when I win,
I'm changing my name.
165
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,232
To something cool like winnie!
166
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:12,971
Did you come to give
me a cup of water?
167
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,407
(both grunt)
168
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,843
The best day of my life
169
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,912
Just turned into every
other day of my life.
170
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,751
Lisa:
Bart faced a terrible choice--
171
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,586
Take a beating with his friend
172
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,755
Or slither off like a coward.
173
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,224
And like he did with every
multiple choice question
174
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:36,161
He ever saw, bart chose "b."
175
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,703
(crowd cheering)
176
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:47,005
The winner is bart simpson!
177
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,540
Lisa:
Bart won a blue ribbon.
178
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,741
But was it worth it?
179
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,743
Marge:
Lisa! Bath time!
180
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,912
Lisa:
Mom! I'm narrating!
181
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,847
Marge:
The water's gonna get cold!
182
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,449
Lisa:
Fine.
183
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,456
Lisa:
As the pin on the back
of the blue ribbon made its way
184
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,458
Through bart's shirt
and into its housing,
185
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,460
The seeds of his comeuppance
186
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,462
Flew out of the woods.
187
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,431
Son! What happened to you
188
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,866
In the dark place
behind the school?
189
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,268
Something good?
190
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,439
I'm afraid I don't remember.
191
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,107
Whew.
192
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,109
Well, it looks like milhouse
has traumatic amnesia.
193
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,944
He may never remember
what happened to him.
194
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,114
The most important thing is, the
race results are now official.
195
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,416
Now I've got to look
at some severe cases
196
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,252
Of ice cream headache.
197
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,321
(theme from m*a*s*h* playing)
198
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,668
(bart groaning)
199
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,472
(gasps)
200
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,507
Help me, bart!
201
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,610
(screams)
202
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,445
Help me, bart!
203
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,746
(shouts)
204
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,014
(gasps)
205
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,550
Help me, bart!
206
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:08,753
(gasping)
207
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,322
Why am I having nightmares?
208
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,690
I'm no coward.
209
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,791
(screams)
210
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:13,959
A chicken feather?
211
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,494
Why would you hand this to me?
212
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,195
Oh, you must've figured out
213
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,030
I chickened out during the race.
214
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,566
Well, who are you to judge me?
215
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,636
I suck? You suck!
216
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,305
Lisa:
While bart was being
outwitted by a baby,
217
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:31,142
Something was coming to a boil
in our pop's brainpan.
218
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,212
Marge, if this stupid,
one-reactor town won't put on
219
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,881
A fireworks show, I will.
220
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,482
I've mapped it out.
221
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,284
(laughs)
hmm?
222
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,553
(groans)
223
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:45,490
Maybe we should just light
sparklers in the backyard.
224
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:48,960
Eh, I've had my problems
with sparklers.
225
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,662
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
Fun! Fun! Fun!
226
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,197
(screams)
227
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,199
Lisa:
But fourth of July fireworks
228
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,400
Were a different story.
229
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,002
They meant more to my dad
230
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,837
Than my mom could ever know.
231
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,972
It was the one night
of every year
232
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,542
That he couldn't hear
his parents argue.
233
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,144
He figured it was because
they loved the fireworks
234
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,213
Just as much as he did.
235
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,248
I want to take a class!
236
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,652
Why can't you be happy
ironing my shirts?!
237
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,253
I need space!
238
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,690
Then close your eyes
and go to hawaii!
239
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,893
Lisa:
With his mom gone,
homer needed a hero,
240
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,930
And no one was a bigger hero
241
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,598
Than the magical little man
242
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,666
Behind the controls.
243
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,167
(fireworks whistling)
244
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,735
Are you god?
245
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,571
No, no.
246
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:36,074
But I shoot rockets
into his a-face.
247
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,576
Here's-a my card.
248
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:41,246
Don't forget to treasure it.
249
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,214
Hmm.
250
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,416
Now let's see.
251
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,084
Which pants have that card?
252
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,053
Board shorts, interested shorts.
253
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,589
Here we are.
254
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,524
Kaboom.
255
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,761
Giuseppe, I want you
to come out of retirement
256
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,764
For the greatest fireworks show
of your career.
257
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,767
Why do you come here and remind
me of a time in my life
258
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,571
When I made a-tons of money
doing a-what I love?
259
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,940
If the expendables movies
have taught us anything,
260
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,142
It's that people
do their best work
261
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,578
After they're old
and forgotten.
262
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:17,449
Well, I am younger
than sylvester stallone.
263
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,351
I will do it!
264
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,756
Hey, buddy.
265
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,392
Bart, my truest friend.
266
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,827
I brought you a cake.
267
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,428
Read it.
268
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,297
That's an odd message.
269
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,466
But who am I to
argue with icing?
270
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,435
Will you watch cassidy
the crocodile with me?
271
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,238
Um, that's kind
of a baby show.
272
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,906
It's all I can handle now.
273
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:45,276
(sighs)
274
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,811
Henrietta kitten?
275
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,446
Will you marry me?
276
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,448
Meow, meow, maybe.
277
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,117
Why would a kitten
marry a crocodile?
278
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,451
Wouldn't it eat her?
279
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,586
(shushes)
280
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,988
Suspension of disbelief.
281
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,791
Friends help
friends in trouble.
282
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:00,792
No! Turn it off!
283
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,594
It's too intense for me!
284
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:06,097
Some guys just can't
handle crocodiles.
285
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,632
Is it over yet?
286
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,967
(chicken clucks)
287
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,168
And if you're dissatisfied
288
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,603
For any reason,
289
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,304
I will refund your money
290
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,507
In the form of acorns.
291
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,778
(groans)
292
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:23,481
Hey, this gunpowder,
it has a-crystal meth in it.
293
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,283
Crystal meth?
Then what the heck
294
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,086
Did I sell
to them colombian drug lords?
295
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,689
Brandine!
296
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,625
We're feuding
with the escobars again!
297
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:36,327
Does that mean
I ain't talking to maria?
298
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,163
Duh! Yes.
299
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,230
Homer, we will get
300
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:42,200
The fireworks someplace else.
301
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,537
The pig's been eating
the c-4 blocks again!
302
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,706
(burps)
303
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,041
(dog barks)
304
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,978
We've invited a new athlete to
join our do-gooding dream team.
305
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,215
Please welcome fleet-footed
phenom, bart simpson.
306
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,018
(crowd cheering)
307
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,087
Hey, everyone.
I sure got a lot of attention
308
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,255
For winning this year's
race around the school.
309
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,091
(crowd cheering)
310
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,059
Completely deserved!
311
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,527
Yeah, yeah. Thank you, mel.
312
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,930
But I am not here
to talk about myself.
313
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,899
Milhouse, would you
join me at the podium?
314
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,900
(clamoring)
315
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:16,935
What's going on?
316
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,536
Seriously, what-what's
transpiring?
317
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,238
I've got to set things straight.
318
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,741
During that same race, my friend
milhouse was in the lead,
319
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,443
When something
horrible happened!
320
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,913
Lisa:
Bart knew the worst thing to do
321
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,082
Was pile lie upon lie.
322
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,084
And that's exactly what he did.
323
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,586
Rather than try to figure
out what happened,
324
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,187
Milhouse had the
courage to move on.
325
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,022
To me, that's a hero.
326
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,390
(crowd cheering)
327
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,859
Nicely done.
328
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,894
Now we will give out
free rubber bracelets.
329
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,529
Do not wear them to bed.
330
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,930
They smell like truck tires.
331
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,165
They're disgusting.
332
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:52,704
Crotch or forehead?
333
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,906
Uh, forehead for once.
334
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,342
Wha...?
335
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,088
Bart simpson!
336
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,924
You ran away
when I was getting beat up!
337
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,259
(crowd booing)
338
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,460
Bart's a coward!
339
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,661
He lied to us!
340
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:19,130
Stop the tattoo!
341
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,966
Uh, I could make it
a bag of groceries.
342
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,102
All right, make sure there's
some french bread sticking out.
343
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,172
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!
344
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,112
(crowd rabbling)
345
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,015
Look how he runs now!
346
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,683
Lisa:
So bart was revealed
as a coward.
347
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,953
And now it seemed
like the whole world
348
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,621
Was against him.
349
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:44,622
(screams)
350
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,791
(panting)
351
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,093
Male announcer:
Have you ever considered
a reverse-equity mortgage?
352
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,095
That's what put
me in this dump!
353
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,932
Grampa, everyone's
calling me a coward.
354
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,800
Well, join the club.
355
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:59,304
Anyone who makes it to old age
has got to be part-coward.
356
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,706
Come on, you were
in world war ii.
357
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,175
Do you know
how I survived d-day?
358
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,111
(retches)
359
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,581
Don't worry--
just a day at the beach.
360
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:17,488
I'll be back around 1946!
361
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,624
But don't people hate cowards?
362
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:20,658
Sure do.
363
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,460
But we outlive the brave.
364
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:26,064
Leaving us cowards to make time
with the heroes' widows.
365
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:29,000
After korea,
I was drowning in boobies.
366
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,536
Wow, that sounds pretty sweet.
367
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,338
Well, there is a price.
368
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,541
Do you wake up sweating
in the middle of the night?
369
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,542
Yes.
370
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,877
So do I.
371
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,011
But I get back to sleep
372
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,813
By counting the men I let down.
373
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:44,382
There's jerry, izzy, brooklyn,
374
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,319
The o'donnell boys,
the lost ship pt-108,
375
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,321
The poor buggers
of meatloaf ridge,
376
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,990
The andrew sisters...
377
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,958
(snoring)
378
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,063
(gasps)
379
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:03,835
I understand.
380
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:06,337
You have standards.
381
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,506
(gasps)
382
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,942
This is an angry sleepover.
383
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,745
I'm only doing it
'cause it was on the books.
384
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,047
Lisa:
While bart was in hell,
385
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,382
Homer was happily surrounded
386
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,584
By fire and brimstone.
387
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:23,254
Okay, let's make some fireworks.
388
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,623
Now drive slowly
and a-carefully
389
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,592
To my workshop.
390
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,862
It's in-a the cobblestone
a-district.
391
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,701
Oh, thank god--
a rickety bridge.
392
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,774
Don't worry.
393
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,877
We'll be safe
in the gas a-lamp a-district.
394
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,715
(tires screeching)
395
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,822
("stars and stripes forever"
playing)
396
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,005
Can I pitch something?
397
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,106
Go ahead.
398
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,607
Boom! Biddy bom-bom boom!
399
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,443
Biddy bom bow! Ba-dip-boo!
400
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,844
Boom! Boom!
401
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:22,647
That's-a nice.
(laughs)
402
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,350
¶ sometimes when we touch ¶
403
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:29,187
¶ the honesty's too much... ¶
404
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:33,391
Wrong holiday, charlie brown.
405
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,362
(overlapping chatter)
406
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,163
Yoink. Ha-haw!
407
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,698
We're on it, ma'am!
408
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,201
Okay, coarse gunpowder,
get the ball in there,
409
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,870
Don't forget the wadding,
tamp, tamp, tamp,
410
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,672
Fine gunpowder in the pan,
411
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,508
Firing stance, take
careful aim and...
412
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,809
(grunts)
413
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,945
Uh, yeah,
not enough tamping, chief.
414
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,546
Coarse gunpowder,
ball, wadding,
415
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,981
Tamp, tamp, tamp,
tamp, tamp, tamp,
416
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,616
Fine gunpowder in the pan.
417
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,784
Come on...
418
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,958
Aw, my boy's having a bad night.
419
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,559
We should get
this show on the road.
420
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,695
No, the time is not yet right.
421
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,364
When they look
at their watches and mutter,
422
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,200
"hey, when are these a-jerks
going to a-start?"
423
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,670
That's when they're ready
to be enchanted.
424
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,039
Come on, let's go!
425
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,907
I can't stand to see
my family unhappy
426
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,243
On america's holiest day.
427
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,912
Actually, July 2 is
428
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:30,882
When congress declared
independence,
429
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:34,252
The date that-a
should be celebrated.
430
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,586
Hey, super mario.
431
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,855
Don't you tell me about america!
432
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,724
Idiot! I'm-a right!
433
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,025
No, you're a-wrong!
434
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:43,761
"July 2"--
I am quoting john adams!
435
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,263
Who the hell is that?
436
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,364
(both grunt)
437
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,100
(all screaming)
438
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,436
Oh, dear.
The term "target audience"
439
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,172
Is taking
on a sinister connotation.
440
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,778
Milhouse, this is my chance
to make things right.
441
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,081
What are you up to now?
442
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,917
Get on that bus! I'll explain
during the explosions!
443
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,919
Don't a-panic! We'll be okay
444
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:11,089
As long as the sequence
doesn't a-start.
445
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,691
Hit bart's dad in the butt!
446
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,093
Roger that.
447
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,527
Did you factor in the wind?
448
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,697
No.
449
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,433
¶ sometimes when we touch. ¶
450
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,103
¶ the honesty's too much... ¶
451
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,471
Don't worry, boys!
452
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:29,040
I'll be with you
all the way to berlin.
453
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,310
(cackles)
454
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,846
(all clamoring)
455
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,950
(coughing)
456
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,151
So, who is our hero?
457
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,486
I hope it's carl.
458
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,121
Nah, no such luck.
459
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,255
I was just tweeting a picture
460
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,124
Of what I thought
was my last meal.
461
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,159
Hot dog and french fries!
462
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,230
(all gasping)
463
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:57,135
Milhouse is our unlikely savior!
464
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:00,338
Man:
Quit explaining everything,
let him talk.
465
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,906
Well, it wasn't me.
466
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,074
It was bart who...
467
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:05,109
Saw everything you did.
468
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,911
Milhouse is the hero.
469
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,814
Take it from me, the boy
who's lied throughout.
470
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,483
All:
Milhouse! Milhouse!
471
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,784
Oh, I get it now.
472
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,454
Thanks, bart.
473
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,690
Lisa:
So milhouse got the redemption
he deserved,
474
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,627
And so, in a way, did bart.
475
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,329
All:
Coward! Coward! Coward!
476
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,598
Lisa:
Which meant that, at long last,
477
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,801
My brother could get
a good night's sleep.
478
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,504
(slow melody playing on piano)
479
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,380
Oh, enough doom and gloom!
480
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,849
(playing upbeat melody)
481
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,631
Look, maggie, I undid my deed.
482
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:04,001
So I'm just gonna take
your feather and say good night.
483
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,404
Oh, where are these coming from?
484
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,307
Oh, I see.
485
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:13,144
That's all you wanted.
486
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:15,379
How's that, kiddo?
487
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,448
(clucking)
488
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:25,923
Homer:
¶ sometimes when we touch ¶
489
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,560
Giuseppe: ¶ the honesty,
she's-a too much ¶
490
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:35,166
Both: ¶ and I have
to close my eyes and hide ¶
491
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:38,769
Giuseppe: ¶ I wanna
hold you till I die... ¶
492
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:39,904
Homer (laughing):
One more year, tops.
493
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,938
Giuseppe:
I live-a longer than you.
494
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,107
I take a senior spin class.
495
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,276
Always I'm increasing
the tension.
496
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,410
Homer:
Then, burn on you
497
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,445
'cause you'll be holding
498
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,579
Onto a dead guy.
(laughs)
499
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,715
Giuseppe:
¶ I wanna hold you ¶
500
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:53,918
¶ a-till the fear
in me subsides... ¶
501
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,052
Homer:
Believe me, if you're holding
502
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,221
Onto a 300-pound dead guy,
503
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,390
Fear is not gonna be
your problem.
504
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,592
Giuseppe: Congratulations, you
have ruined a beautiful song.
505
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,761
Homer: It's a song?
I thought we were just riffing.
506
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,930
Giuseppe:
I apologize to dan hill
507
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,031
And all of our viewers.
508
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,466
Homer:
I don't!
Shh!
509
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:11,535
Usher, will you stop
that person who's shushing?
510
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,672
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org