1
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:05,070
(squawking)
2
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,079
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,452
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,223
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,327
D'oh!
6
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:29,328
(tires screeching)
7
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,063
(grunts)
8
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,300
Hmm.
Hmm.
9
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:37,469
(grunting)
10
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,537
(chuckles)
11
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,538
Mm.
12
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,606
Hmm.
13
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,215
ANNOUNCER:
Welcome...
14
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,018
to The Vulture's Nest.
15
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:56,422
♪ ♪
16
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,393
(whip cracking)
17
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,200
The Vulture's Nest...
18
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,334
(air hissing)
19
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,402
...where billionaire investors
20
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,037
swoop down
21
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,072
on your business proposals
22
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,773
and peck out the eyes.
23
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,108
(lock clicking)
24
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,246
(squawking)
25
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,786
Uh, hello, vultures.
(chuckles nervously)
26
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,421
Okay, um...
27
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,889
Forget it. I'm out.
28
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:31,924
Uh, vultures,
29
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,692
almost every kid
wears a retainer,
30
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,360
and that is not cool.
31
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,563
But this retainer
32
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:38,797
is a de-lamer.
33
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:39,932
As it turns
34
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,434
this grill from blah...
35
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,136
to bling.
(grunts)
36
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,704
Hmm.
Ooh.
Oh...
37
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:49,408
Now that's a Milhouse
I'd marry.
38
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,910
Kirk, when I started
digging for oil,
39
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,613
I came up dry for 12 years.
40
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,149
Then I had my yee-haw moment
41
00:01:57,151 --> 00:02:00,252
and realized I needed to drill
in Texas
42
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,621
instead of my home state
of New Hampshire.
43
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,622
Well,
44
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,756
I'm very interested.
45
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,158
I'll offer you
three hours
46
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,727
of my precious time
for 90% of your company.
47
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,162
Too late. 95%.
48
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,331
We're not gonna do
any better than that.
49
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,066
I don't know, Dad.
50
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,501
Of course you don't know.
51
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,502
You're just a kid.
52
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,003
I may be a kid,
but this was my idea.
53
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,004
KIRK:
Hey!
54
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,006
You need a ride
home, don't you?
55
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,508
We've heard enough.
56
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,376
Thank you for
the opportunity.
57
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,179
(laughing)
58
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,481
I love seeing
people I know fail.
59
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,283
(laughing):
Do you want a beer, son?
60
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,485
(gasps)
There's a stain.
61
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,921
Did that dumb dog
pee on the rug?
62
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,457
Dad, it's not fair
to blame the dog.
63
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,160
Blame the dumb animal
who's supposed to walk him:
64
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,294
Bart.
65
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,795
I did walk him.
66
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:44,963
Didn't I, boy?
67
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,298
(growling)
Chewing your leg
68
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,666
is not a yes,
I learned that
69
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,934
in a real estate deal.
70
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,270
Oh, it wasn't the dog.
71
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,771
I went on the rug.
72
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,839
What?
Huh?
73
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,007
Grampa,
74
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,175
is everything all right?
75
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,011
I'm 86 years old
and I'm falling apart
76
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,346
like toast
in a dishwasher.
77
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,182
Oh, you poor man.
78
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,850
Sit down here and relax.
79
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,018
(groans)
80
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,786
Geez, Dad, you really have
lost a step.
81
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,521
Can't you at least
enjoy Shark Tank--
82
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,123
I mean, Vulture's Nest?
83
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,392
(screaming)
84
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,494
Grampa,
don't worry.
85
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,063
We're paying the finest
nursing home in town.
86
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,398
They'll know what to do.
87
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,867
We have no idea
what to do.
88
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,535
We specialize in
keeping seniors
89
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,137
from bothering
their families,
90
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:28,140
then gently releasing
them just before death.
91
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,675
God bless, Mr. Simpson.
92
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,177
I've been paying you off and on
for years,
93
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,812
and there's no way you can help?
94
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,814
We do offer free
transportation
95
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,082
to the next stage.
96
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,083
(tires screeching)
97
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,351
(grunts)
98
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,686
(tires screeching)
99
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,521
(Homer sighing worriedly)
100
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,855
Come on, Grampa.
101
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,024
You're not staying on skid row.
102
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,326
Yeah, that's shameful,
103
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,728
shoving poor old people
out on the street.
104
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,030
This place is
for the mentally ill.
105
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,332
(yelling incoherently)
106
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,067
Hey! What are you...
107
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,302
Uh, get better!
(chuckles)
108
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,938
Well, we're not beaten yet.
109
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:03,675
Grampa, you're a veteran of
every branch of the service.
110
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,711
The VA hospital will help.
111
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,746
Aren't those hospitals
the ones they called
112
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,581
"America's shame"?
113
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,718
A lot of things are
America's shame, honey.
114
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,286
(cats wailing)
115
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,755
(Barney moaning)
116
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,125
Mr. Simpson?
117
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,126
Yes?
118
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,362
Uh, this is just
the waiting room.
119
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,630
Oh...
120
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,698
Well, don't worry,
the veteran's administration
121
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,533
will take care of
this proud warrior.
122
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,068
I can see him
in five minutes.
123
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,069
(Homer and Marge
sigh with relief)
124
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,638
23 years from now.
125
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,873
(groaning)
Hey, soldier.
126
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,109
Are you looking for
high quality health care
127
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,210
at no cost?
128
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,378
I know the place.
129
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,213
Tell it to me in an anecdote.
130
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:42,614
Years ago,
131
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,816
I saw action in
the Bay of Pigs.
132
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,986
Bay of Pigs, eh?
133
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,755
(pigs snorting)
134
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,757
(chomps)
(pig squealing)
135
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,493
Er, have you seen
Marilyn Monroe?
136
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,628
I'm asking, for, uh,
for a friend.
137
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,996
Yes, a, uh...
Er, uh...
138
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,898
...a friend.
Don't, uh, tell Ethel.
139
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,333
Mmm.
140
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,668
History.
141
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,404
Those Cuban doctors
patched me up good,
142
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,172
and for a lot less.
143
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,840
How much less?
144
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,742
Well, what costs
$2,000 here
145
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,244
costs six
bucks there.
146
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,813
Hmm.
(Cuban music playing)
147
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,650
Ah, Cuba sounds
a little dangerous.
148
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,352
Why don't we try Canada?
149
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,687
I don't want
to go there,
150
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,289
now that that commie
Trudeau is in charge.
151
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,957
We're goin' to Cuba!
152
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,192
You got it, Dad.
153
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,660
Nurse, cancel our appointment.
154
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,761
I'm sorry,
there's a fee
155
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,331
if you don't cancel
within 24 years.
D'oh!
156
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,371
(horn blowing, bird screeching)
157
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,206
D'oh!
158
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,509
Grampa, can't you enjoy
the Caribbean breeze?
159
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,977
Not while I suspect
160
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,847
your father's gonna
toss me off'n the boat.
161
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,849
Huh? Wh...?
Hmm?
162
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,617
Ah-ah? Ah-ah?
Hmm?
163
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,486
No. We're not.
164
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,355
And we'll have fun
when we get there.
165
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,390
We can have plantains.
166
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,326
They're like bananas
you have to cook. Yum.
167
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,129
Cooked bananas are
too hard for me to chew.
(bird screeching)
168
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,330
D'oh!
169
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:08,333
Well, don't forget Cuba's
vibrant jazz scene.
170
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:09,968
Lisa, thanks for the warning.
171
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:13,338
Despite what she says,
this trip will be fun.
172
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,407
I am finally gonna put
the Spanish I learned
173
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,409
on I Love Lucy to use.
174
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:21,079
(à la Ricky Ricardo):
Oh, Loo-sey, you need to see
a "fee-sa-kia-trist."
175
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,347
Excuse me, sir.
176
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,750
We are perfectly able
to pronounce "psychiatrist."
177
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,985
Now, please don't make me
'splain it to you again.
178
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,254
Come on, Rick. The girls
are dressed up like men,
179
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,323
trying to get into
the cigar store.
180
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,191
So you know what
we do, Fred?
181
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:34,893
We give them cigars.
182
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,063
(laughing):
All the cigars they want.
183
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,332
(laughing):
This will be good.
184
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,101
I'll never understand
why a bandleader
185
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,904
was such good friends
with his landlord.
186
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,973
(Cuban music plays)
187
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:55,247
Now, there are 12 types
of visits to Cuba
188
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,615
that are
legally permitted.
189
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,083
U.S. business...
Next.
190
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,418
professional
research...
191
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,752
I don't know what
either of those words mean.
192
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,087
educational
activities...
193
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,288
Those words
I know and hate.
194
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,523
family visit...
195
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,091
Is there a VIP entrance
to this place?
196
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,225
religious
activities...
197
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,393
(laughing):
God, no.
198
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:10,362
public performances...
Never.
199
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,696
mistook us
for Aruba...
200
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,864
Is that
that weird lettuce?
201
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,065
here to
smuggle cigars...
202
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,200
You guys have cigars?
203
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,368
fell off a
fishing boat...
204
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,436
Many times,
not today.
205
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:18,870
transmission
of information...
206
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,105
Who wants to know?
207
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,640
really love
Gloria Estefan...
208
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,774
Getting warmer.
209
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,477
and the last one is
journalistic activity.
210
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,711
I'm a journalist.
211
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,747
I'm doing an article
for my school paper.
212
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,248
Here's one of my scoops.
213
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,249
Hmm.
214
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,484
You're in.
215
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,152
♪ ♪
216
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,588
Whoa, you can make money
playing dominoes?
217
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,890
Come on, Grampa,
let's take these guys.
218
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,459
I don't like dominoes.
219
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:43,728
With my cataracts,
everything's a six.
220
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,231
(groans)
221
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,133
What?
222
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,837
(sighs)
223
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,271
Ooh!
224
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,441
We could go see Mariel
Hemingway's grandfather's house.
225
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,677
Hmm, apparently,
he was a writer.
226
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,645
Like Mindy Kaling.
227
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,414
Forget it, I'm done.
228
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,984
Let me just take one last
good look at my granddaughter
229
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,653
so she'll remember
her granddad.
230
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,057
(grunting)
231
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,796
And love locks it in.
232
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,699
Now, to just sit
and wait for the end.
233
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:25,604
How could anyone be so glum
in front of that sign?
234
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,773
(sighs)
235
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,008
♪ ♪
236
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,443
I am so sorry.
237
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,345
There is, uh, nothing I can do.
238
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,181
All I can offer is this,
uh, festive shirt.
239
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,782
(groaning)
240
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,785
I don't like the way the
birds are looking at me.
241
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,621
Relax, viejo.
242
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,689
Return the shirt
after he, you know...
243
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,991
(whistles)
244
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:46,825
(blows raspberry)
245
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,160
(groans)
We took an exotic island
246
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,663
vacation for nothing.
247
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,832
Oh, my God!
248
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:57,002
Where have you been
all these years?
249
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,037
Now, this is a car!
250
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,072
Razor-sharp fins.
251
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,842
Little triangle windows
that weren't good for nothing.
252
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:08,079
And a front seat you could fit
all your newborn babies on.
253
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,681
Would you care to go for a ride?
254
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,849
(keys jingle)
255
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,385
Car keys that don't go
bloopity-bloop!
256
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,853
I'm home!
257
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,721
("Chan Chan" by
Buena Vista Social Club playing)
258
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:24,496
(singing in Spanish)
259
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,864
Oh!
260
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,098
You, my friend,
261
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,867
just had a "Cuba-gasm."
262
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,001
(tires squeal)
263
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,103
Dad, let me help you out.
264
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,171
(laughing)
265
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,506
I don't need no help!
266
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:35,941
(hums a tune)
267
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:39,678
A lungful of leaded gas
and I'm better than ever!
268
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,779
(chuckles)
269
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,414
Oh, thank you.
270
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,717
You've taken my dad
back to a simpler time
271
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:50,021
when our only worry was being
obliterated by nuclear weapons.
272
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,523
It is the car.
273
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:55,126
All our American cars
were built before 1960.
274
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:59,030
And studies show that exposure
to objects from your youth
275
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,032
can help you feel young again.
276
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,267
What studies?
277
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,602
Are they peer reviewed?
278
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,769
You know what they are?
279
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,706
A professor, Ellen
Langer, did a study
280
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:11,142
where seniors exposed
to culture from the '50s
281
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,311
became more vigorous
and engaged.
282
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,715
They even engaged
in heavy petting.
283
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,717
There's heavy petting?
284
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,288
Wow, that's the first time
I've seen him
285
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,458
get a woman's attention
without flatlining.
286
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:30,161
Now, here's one that's been
in our family for years.
287
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,230
(playing The Simpsons theme)
288
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,772
Well, that saves us
going to the beach.
289
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,475
(hums a tune)
290
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,477
Okay,
291
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,779
so let me get
this straight.
292
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,582
This paladar is a restaurant,
293
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:52,283
but it's in a home?
294
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,485
That's right.
295
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,587
So I don't have
to do the dishes?
296
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:56,955
You don't do
the dishes at home.
297
00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:01,259
Never discuss family business
in front of the Cubans.
298
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,129
Homie, this place is so homey.
299
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,997
Look, Grampa's
eating like a horse.
300
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,433
So, you are enjoying the horse?
301
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,668
(gasps)
302
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,136
(laughs):
No, no, no.
303
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,171
You are not eating a horse.
304
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,439
The baby is.
305
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,075
(gasps)
How many bites have you had?
306
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,847
Gracias.
¿Cómo estás tú?
307
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,482
Bart, you're using
informal Spanish
308
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,785
with someone who's
not a family member.
309
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,386
Ay, caramba.
310
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,822
Quiet, you kids.
I'm watching Castro.
311
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,857
All the best world leaders
have beards.
312
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,526
Him, Santa Claus.
313
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,361
And every time he says
"collective farming,"
314
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,696
I take a drink.
315
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:42,701
Recientemente, viajé
a una granja colectiva.
316
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:45,470
Gracias!
(gulping)
317
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,505
♪ ♪
318
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:50,341
(laughs)
Look at me, Jasper!
319
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,011
I'm eating a peanut!
320
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,045
Who's that guy?
321
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,380
Huh? Who knows?
322
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,849
But I'm sending him a picture
of my junk.
323
00:11:57,851 --> 00:12:00,418
(shutter clicks)
(laughs)
324
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,187
Ugh. Disgusting.
325
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,355
300 extra pesos
326
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,358
por la hermosa camarera.
327
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,827
Yo no salgo
con clientes.
328
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:14,499
Another El Presidente cocktail,
Señor Abraham?
329
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,735
I don't remember telling you
my name.
330
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,003
You did. In fact,
you were so charming,
331
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,005
I want to hook up later.
332
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,908
Not for money but for
nylons and chocolate.
333
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,711
(chuckles)
Hey, Macarena!
334
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,913
For me, that's
a topical reference.
335
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,750
Why don't you let me buy
this round, Abe?
336
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,753
Wheels McGrath?!
I knew you in the Air Force!
337
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,188
I haven't seen you
since you dropped that A-bomb
338
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,757
off the forklift.
339
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:41,626
Yeah, 'member when it
just kept rollin' and rollin'?
340
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,528
(both laugh)
341
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,530
Oh, you're
looking good, Abe.
342
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,198
Cuba's great.
343
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,868
It's like Florida
before all the Cubans came.
344
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,202
So what happened to you?
345
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:55,073
(chuckles) I-I hijacked
a plane here in the '70s.
346
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,709
Wow! Did you have
the chicken or fish?
347
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,644
I had both.
348
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,279
(chuckles)
Crazy!
349
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,282
Listen, there's a place
I want to take you.
350
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,785
What do you say?
For old times' sake?
351
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:07,752
Yeah, why not?
352
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,487
Keep my tab open, Issabella.
353
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,490
I hope I see you
again, Abelito.
354
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,160
You will.
I never go anyplace new.
355
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,163
So, you just sign the papers
and she's committed, huh?
356
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,497
That's right.
(chuckles)
357
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,933
That'll zap the
sass out of her.
358
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,735
Yes. Yes!
359
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:27,071
The future of Angola
is the future of Cuba!
360
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,140
(cheering and applause on TV)
361
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,416
(birds singing)
Are you sure we had
to take this route?
362
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,418
Hey, I like hacking.
363
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,921
Are you ready for the
surprise of your life?
364
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,123
Can you give it to me
in stages?
365
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,659
(gasps)
There she is,
366
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,695
the most hijacked plane
in history.
367
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,665
All you had to say was
your kid wanted a pair of wings,
368
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,700
and you were in the cockpit.
369
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,135
I remember their motto,
370
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,638
Skyhawk Air:
Nobody try to be a hero.
371
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,474
It's all ready to open
as a nightclub, Abe.
372
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,343
All we have to do
is clean it up
373
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:09,514
and hack a 50-foot-wide path
to civilization.
374
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,850
Couldn't we just burn a path?
375
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,852
No, I'll do the hacking.
I'll do that.
376
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,187
All I need is a front man
and a partner.
377
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,189
You expect me to
give you the money
378
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,958
I was gonna
leave to Homer?
379
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,994
Okay, I'm in! Aah!
380
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,562
WHEELS:
We'll fix that.
381
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,130
See? Fixed.
382
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,131
(clink)
383
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,299
(slurping)
384
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,734
♪ ♪
385
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,803
(gasps)
It's about time!
386
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,005
We leave at 2:00!
387
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,341
You leave at 2:00.
I'm staying here.
388
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:39,077
Dad, you can't
stay in Cuba.
389
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:43,081
For the first time in years,
I feel young and healthy.
390
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,849
And I found love!
391
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,985
Don't you want those things
for me?
392
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,653
But I can't even leave you
in the park
393
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,755
without you losing
your wallet in a bush.
394
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,557
It was an investment!
395
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,165
So you want to stay and
be with your Cuban chica?
396
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,167
She makes me weak
in the knees!
397
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,769
You're always weak
in the knees.
398
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:08,039
That's because I had to sell
my cartilage in the '70s,
399
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,742
and that cartilage became part
of Hank Aaron's wrist.
400
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,344
Dad, you're happy now
because the new thing
401
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,512
is always exciting.
402
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,681
Remember when you got
that new pillow?
403
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,217
Oh, that was
a mighty fine pillow.
404
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,386
Hypoallergenic.
405
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,389
Oh, what kind of father
would you be if you left me now?
406
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,091
Son, all you see
in me is a burden!
407
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:33,364
Think of me every time
you don't visit someone!
408
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,934
(lively Cuban music playing)
409
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,772
♪ ♪
410
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,376
♪ Aquí pensaban seguir ♪
411
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,046
♪ Ganando el ciento por ciento ♪
412
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,315
♪ Con casar de apartamento ♪
413
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,750
♪ Y echar al pueblo a sufrir ♪
414
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:55,320
♪ Y seguir de modo cruel ♪
415
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,822
♪ Contra el pueblo conspirando ♪
416
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,224
♪ Para seguirlo explotando ♪
417
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,460
♪ Y en eso llegó Fidel. ♪
418
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,762
Who knew you can
have fun in coach?!
419
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,397
(chuckles)
420
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,802
I'd like to speak to your
black ops department.
421
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,270
Right downstairs,
Mr. Simpson.
422
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,571
Thank you.
423
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,807
Hmm. How did they know my name?
424
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:16,941
(whirring)
425
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:19,077
(whistling a tune)
426
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,778
I don't know
where my dad is.
427
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,780
Don't worry--
each AARP card
428
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,782
contains a secret
tracking chip.
429
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,818
(laughs): The magazine
is pretty good, too.
430
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,853
Super easy Sudoku.
Quiet!
431
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,488
This could take a while.
432
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,790
Bam! Got 'em!
433
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,093
Now you have to do
a favor for us.
434
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,762
How many baseball players
can you sneak home with you?
435
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,765
Well... I have to ask my wife,
but I'd say 12.
436
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,100
Bam! Done!
437
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,870
Andre here sold secrets
to the Soviets.
438
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:49,507
And this is the guy who
came up with the service fee
439
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,142
for Ticketmaster.
440
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,477
(grunts)
441
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,312
Do you know any
good people?
442
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,481
Everyone's got their
embarrassments, Abe.
443
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,316
I'm sure you got yours.
444
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,517
HOMER:
Dad!
445
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,552
And up he walks.
446
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,888
What are you doing here?
Who are these people?
447
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,990
This guy was
the biggest drug lord
448
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,392
in North American history.
449
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,894
And this guy invented
Ticketmaster.
450
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,663
You charged me
to sell me something!
451
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,265
Pleased to meet you, sir.
452
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,834
(whispers):
Abe, come with me
453
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,036
to the cockpit.
454
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,837
Are we gonna fly
or make love?
455
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,839
You will sit there,
move nothing,
456
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,207
and do as I say.
457
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,176
Hot dog! Makin' love!
458
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:26,911
(grunts)
459
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:33,051
(American accent):
Miami, this is
Jitterbug Justice
460
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,319
bringing back
an early bird special.
461
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,721
Miami, do you copy?
462
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,423
MAN (over radio):
Uh, we copy.
463
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,027
The nightclub
is flying away.
464
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,496
Can't we hold on to anything?
465
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,534
GRAMPA: Boy, I didn't think I'd
ever be able to do this again!
466
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,869
All you have done is fly
without falling asleep.
467
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,005
Just like on
my honeymoon.
468
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:58,009
I'm starting to suspect you're
not a simple Cuban bartender.
469
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:00,945
No, I'm an undercover
agent for the CIA
470
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,448
here to recapture fugitives
from U.S. law.
471
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,617
And when I saw you, I realized
you'd be the perfect carcass
472
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,419
to tempt these old buzzards.
473
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,887
(sputtering, stammering)
474
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,223
Is there anything
I get out of this?
475
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,759
Yes. You avoid
the knockout gas.
476
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,793
Aw.
477
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,428
(gas hissing)
478
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,364
Oh, thank God.
479
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,767
Usually I can never sleep
on planes.
480
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,269
Sometimes I...
(weak groaning)
481
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,537
(thump)
482
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,744
(loud buzzing)
483
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,547
(flamingos honking)
484
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:40,418
So, that's the end
of my Cuban paradise.
485
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,286
And like every good
thing in my life,
486
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,088
I've already
forgotten it.
487
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:47,425
Listen, Dad, I know it was fun,
but your place is with us,
488
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,760
not on some island
in the Indian Ocean.
489
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,329
I love you.
490
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,831
(both sobbing)
491
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,237
Oh, now we're
two men hugging.
492
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,473
This is no sight
for the streets of Miami.
493
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,509
(both sobbing)
494
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,110
Hey, Dad.
495
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,812
It's a beautiful day.
496
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,447
Want to hit the links?
497
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,083
Oh, just like we used to.
498
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,187
(horn blows)
499
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,155
(laughter)
500
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,223
Screw you!
501
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,162
(horn blows)
502
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,663
(horn blows)
503
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,231
Look over there.
504
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,469
I just painted
a black circle on the green.
505
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,004
MAN:
Why, you little...!
506
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,072
(laughter)
507
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,609
(laughter continues)
508
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,678
(grunting):
Hey!
509
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,315
Now, boy, it's 50 cents
a golf ball
510
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,184
from that water hazard.
511
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,753
Just move those logs aside.
512
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,860
TV ANNOUNCER:
Next on Vulture's Nest...
513
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,995
We all know TV dinners,
514
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:01,165
but what about
toilet breakfasts?
515
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,800
Here's my offer-- no money,
516
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,669
and I get a hundred percent
of the company
517
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:08,306
because there's no doubt you
developed this idea on my time.
518
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,407
And there's more!
519
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,676
Not now.
520
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,345
♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪
521
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,081
♪ That's where I'm going ♪
522
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,685
♪ Cuba ♪
523
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,654
♪ That's where I'll stay ♪
524
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,724
♪ Cuba ♪
525
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,728
♪ Where wine is flowing ♪
526
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,031
♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas ♪
527
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,034
♪ Light their fella's
panetellas ♪
528
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:42,006
♪ Cuba, where all is gay ♪
529
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,009
♪ Why don't you plan a ♪
530
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:48,012
♪ Wonderful trip to Havana? ♪
531
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:51,015
♪ Hop on a ship
and I'll see you ♪
532
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,084
♪ In C-U-B-A... ♪
533
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,090
Shh!
534
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,095
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Media Access Group at WGBH