1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,170
(beatboxing)
2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:06,605
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,042
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:10,876
(tires screeching)
5
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,411
(grunts)
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,513
ALL:
Huh?
7
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,217
D'oh!
8
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,185
(Homer groans)
9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,653
No parking spots?
10
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,155
Lousy butt-kissers,
11
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,890
coming in before noon,
12
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:28,060
eating donuts that are
rightfully mine.
13
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,062
Oh, oh, oh!
14
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,798
D'oh!
Stupid Smart Car.
15
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,066
(tires screech)
16
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:37,136
D'oh! Spot-hogging S.U.V.
17
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,704
(tires screech)
18
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,373
D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole.
19
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,574
(tires screech)
20
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,977
D'oh! Mandatory credit.
21
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:46,245
(tires screech)
22
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,980
D'oh! "Developed by"?
23
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:50,049
What does that even mean?
24
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,051
(gasps)
It's empty!
25
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,519
Homer, no!
26
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,920
That's Burns' spot.
27
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,388
How could you miss
that sign?
28
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,590
Oof. The last guy
that parked there is now a...
29
00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,792
(quietly):
speed bump.
30
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,494
(muffled):
Slow down!
31
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,229
Guys, be cool.
32
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,098
Burns'll never know.
33
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:09,401
He's on vacation this week with
his weirdo hunting buddies.
34
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,774
Fellow members of the Order of
the Knights of Saint Caucasian,
35
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,010
we've got a lot of things
to kill today, so...
36
00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:20,412
release the sedated quail.
37
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,019
(gun clicks)
38
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,288
How am I supposed to hunt it
if it can move?
39
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,928
Try it now, Davy Crockett!
40
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,032
Damn you, surface tension...
41
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:42,134
Wait a minute.
42
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:45,437
If I can park
in Mr. Burns' space,
43
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,039
I can live his whole life!
44
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:49,608
Quickly now,
before I think it through!
45
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,211
(chuckling)
46
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,146
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
47
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,882
♪ Who do you think you are ♪
48
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,784
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
49
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:04,089
♪ You're never gonna
get my love ♪
50
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:08,060
♪ Now because you wear
all those fancy clothes ♪
51
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:11,296
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ And have a big fine car ♪
52
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,965
♪ Oh, yes you do now ♪
53
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,933
♪ Do you think I can afford... ♪
54
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:18,003
(German accent): Come on along,
and sing our Tiki song.
55
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,572
(Latino accent): And everyone
will take their turns.
56
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,975
(Jamaican accent): To
celebrate a man who's great.
57
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:27,079
The wiki-wakka liki-
lakka magic Mr. Burns!
58
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:29,248
♪ The wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
59
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,482
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
60
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,317
♪ The wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
61
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,519
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
62
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,287
♪ The wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
63
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,622
♪ Mr. Burns ♪
64
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,023
♪ The wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
65
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:39,358
♪ Mr. Burns... ♪
66
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,361
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
67
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,097
♪ Who do you think you are? ♪
68
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,366
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
69
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,268
♪ You're never gonna
get my love... ♪
70
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,537
(quietly): Simpson lines up
his hitty stick
71
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:55,107
and gets ready to clobber
the dimpled round-o.
72
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,476
He's calling the signals.
73
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,478
(yelling):
Omaha! 35!
74
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,780
Hut! Hut!
Simpson!
75
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,215
(shrieks)
76
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,251
Incoming!
77
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,556
(yelling): There's a lightbulb
out on level P-2!
78
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,224
Oh, good lord.
79
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:14,793
The trapdoor is under
renovation. It's not safe!
80
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,695
(air rushing past)
81
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,964
(grunting)
82
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,534
Mm-hmm.
83
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,602
HOMER:
Mosaic!
84
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:26,972
(screaming)
85
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:27,973
Congratulations.
86
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,241
You're halfway down.
87
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,309
(electric crackle)
88
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,645
What the...?
89
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,350
(screaming)
90
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,418
Ow!
91
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:42,588
I'm drowning in cement!
92
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,190
Uh, it's actually
concrete.
Woo hoo!
93
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,192
Of which cement
is an ingredient.
94
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,995
(yells):
No!
95
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,564
(rhythmic yelling)
96
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,166
(moans)
97
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:55,934
(Marge humming)
Hmm?
98
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,704
MARGE:
Perfect.
99
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,372
(chuckles)
Marge,
100
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,207
you've thought
of everything.
101
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,509
Except for one
nagging detail.
102
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,446
Did I ever tell you about the
time I was in a big cast?
103
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,916
It was the Shelbyville Players
production of Pippin.
104
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,884
Don't worry, Homie.
GRAMPA: I went from player
105
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,387
to ticket taker
in one performance!
106
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,222
There's two ways of...
107
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,291
(seagulls chirping
and tide rolling)
108
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,036
You are in my seat.
109
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,704
Fight! Fight! Fight!
110
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,073
Asthma, glasses, asthma!
111
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,708
(grunts)
112
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,611
(cheering, yelling)
113
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,813
Oh. There's too much violence
114
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,715
in rearview mirrors these days.
115
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,121
HOMER:
Hey, boy,
116
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,489
want to sign
your old man's cast?
117
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,392
No problemo.
118
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,393
(marker squeaking)
119
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,794
What does it say?
120
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,129
Don't worry about it.
121
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,263
What did you write?
122
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,898
Sorry. That's between me
123
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,133
and everyone who sees it.
124
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,934
HOMER:
I need to know!
Hmm.
125
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,804
Begins with F and ends in C-K.
126
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,972
Why you little!
127
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,107
(grunting, groaning)
128
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,409
(chuckles)
129
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,812
HOMER:
Tell me!
130
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,147
Never!
131
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:16,515
(grunting)
132
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,916
(moans)
133
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,985
(quickly):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
134
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,119
Woo hoo!
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
135
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,120
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
136
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,355
Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh!
137
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,357
(slowing down):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
138
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,491
D'oh...
139
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,826
Woo hoo!
140
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,697
MARGE:
Thanks, partner.
141
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,533
We've balled up
all the 13 gauge alpaca.
142
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,002
Now maybe there's
something fun we can do?
143
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,137
Sure is. A puzzle.
144
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,505
"Foggy Day in Berlin."
145
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,708
5,000 pieces.
146
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,042
Hmm...
147
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,013
(German accent):
Homer, complete the puzzle!
148
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,047
I'm a married man!
149
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,549
Fine. If you need me,
150
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,517
I'll be in your schpankenbank.
151
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,388
FEMALE SINGER:
♪ We'll meet again ♪
152
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,524
Marge, I don't think
we should do this puzzle.
153
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,327
I know. You can't
pick up the pieces.
154
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,831
That's why I've devised
a grid system.
155
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,734
Huh? I'll hold up a piece,
and you call out the number
156
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,536
and letter of
the corresponding grid square.
157
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,971
Uh... I don't know.
158
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,072
Q 15?
159
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,808
Sweetie, it's a side piece.
160
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,410
Q 15's in the middle.
161
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,045
Right. Q 15 is in the middle.
162
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,247
Nothing more fun than rules.
163
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:25,083
I'll make some tea
to help you think.
164
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,819
Oh, I hate being
immobile and numb.
165
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,921
If only I was free to move.
166
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,692
(moans)
167
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,093
If only.
168
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,095
(excited chatter)
169
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,931
It's never pleasant to see
this kind of activity, Lisa.
170
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,701
Particularly on a cell phone
that is so much nicer
171
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,169
than the one I own.
172
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:51,042
All the fighting seems to start
with who sits where on the bus.
173
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,945
Um, Lisa. You seem to have a
handle on the bus problem.
174
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:57,015
Why don't you tackle it?
But don't think I won't help.
175
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,617
I'm providing you with a sash.
176
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,051
Skinner!
177
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,254
You are asking
a six-year-old girl
178
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,356
to fix this school's problems.
179
00:07:04,358 --> 00:07:05,757
I'm eight.
180
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,992
Oh, carry on.
181
00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:10,061
What do you mean,
there's a legal issue
182
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,430
with my trapdoor?
183
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,131
And, uh, as you explain,
184
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,367
please take two steps back.
185
00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,536
The old trapdoor
was perfectly legal.
186
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,038
It was grandfathered in
under the Reagan-era code.
187
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,040
But once you start
renovating it,
188
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,910
it has to brought up
to modern standards.
189
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,746
Mm. And it has to be
handicap accessible.
190
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,815
A wheelchair would never fall
through the current opening.
191
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,283
(chuckling): Oh!
But that's not a problem!
192
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,084
I refuse to hire
the handicapped.
193
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,319
That's another issue.
194
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,122
But for now, we have
left ourselves open
195
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,624
to a lawsuit by Homer Simpson.
196
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,294
Fine. Smithers, go see
this Simpson character
197
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,663
and trick him into signing
a waiver of liability.
198
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,965
I'll discuss things
with the foreman.
199
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,403
(yelling):
Enrique, mas grande la puerta!
200
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:52,804
(Homer moans)
201
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,674
Look, Homie! We got
three pieces together.
202
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,108
That's a good day's work!
203
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,144
Why don't we do
one of Maggie's puzzles?
204
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,647
Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole,
boom. Next case.
205
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,517
Hmm, I thought the one good
thing about you hurting yourself
206
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,919
was that we could spend
more time together.
207
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,920
You did?
208
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:09,921
Didn't you?
209
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,524
Oh yeah, sure, of course.
210
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,527
Only a fool
would admit otherwise.
211
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,628
Mm...
212
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,696
(doorbell rings)
213
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,931
(sighs)
214
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,333
(sighs)
215
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:24,970
Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in.
216
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,972
(chuckling): Oh! Well,
there's our tangle-foot!
217
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,440
Already on the mend.
218
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:29,808
Yeah, right.
219
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:30,942
They say it'll be three months
220
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,944
before I can scratch my ass.
221
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,980
Six before I can
really go at it.
222
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,048
Listen, I-I don't want
to take up your time.
223
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,117
I just need Homer's signature
on a couple of things.
224
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,987
First, a get well
card to himself.
225
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,955
And what else does
he need to sign?
226
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,056
Oh, a... (coughing)
227
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,391
...waiver of liability.
228
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,194
I know, I know.
229
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,029
There are solid reasons to sue.
230
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,031
But do you really want
to fill your life
231
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,334
with parasitic attorneys
with get-rich-quick schemes?
232
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,203
Schemes? Rich? Quick?
233
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,305
Parasitic? Woo hoo!
234
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,041
How could I have forgotten
to sue Mr. Burns?
235
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,876
That's how you get rich
in America.
236
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,078
Sue S. A! Sue S. A!
237
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,147
Oh, Lord.
238
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,650
Finally, a chance to use this.
239
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,887
It was designed ironically,
but I would die for it.
240
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,028
Are you home during the day
because you were injured
241
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,897
at work, school, museum, church,
Iraq, elevator plummet,
242
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,500
uneven sidewalk, hit by foul
ball, hit by fair ball,
243
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,602
or Iditarod viewing party?
244
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,203
The first one!
The first one you said!
245
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,005
Call me, Maxwell Flinch,
246
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:37,709
at 555-555-5555.
247
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,411
Five, five, five...
248
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,580
Wait, what was the number
after the first three fives,
249
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,281
but before the last six fives?
250
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,050
Uh, Simpson, before
you do anything rash,
251
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,886
Mr. Burns wanted you
to enjoy this get-well cake.
252
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,021
What's that writing on top?
Oh!
253
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,457
It's just, uh,
strawberry boilerplate
254
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,059
absolving us of liability.
255
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,027
Now just bite here, here, here,
256
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,063
nibble here, lick here...
257
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,398
Uh, your wife needs
to eat this cupcake...
258
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,068
Sir, you cannot
bribe me with cake.
259
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:06,538
Because I just ate several pies.
260
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,573
Hello, Mr. Smithers.
261
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,075
I see you haven't given up.
262
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,710
(sighing)
263
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,079
Just enjoy the cake.
As long as you don't eat it
264
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,081
in front of a notary
public, you're fine.
265
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,616
I'm a notary public.
266
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,318
You gave your ink pad to Maggie.
267
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,423
(moans)
I'll, um, I'll walk out
with you.
268
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,158
Don't go yet.
You guys can help me
269
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,494
brainstorm a pattern
for my new quilt.
270
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,930
Marge, I mean this
in the nicest way:
271
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,066
your idea of fun makes me
want to blow my brains out.
272
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,301
(murmurs disappointedly)
273
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,605
Oh, Razzmatazz is
perfect, Marge.
274
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,173
It's-it's uh--
it's red,
275
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,242
but not,
uh, too red.
276
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,410
You're right!
277
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,945
Why don't you stick around
278
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,014
and we'll discuss
stitching patterns over tea?
279
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,248
I'd like that.
280
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,983
And I'll take the cake
back to the home
281
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,785
and share it
with the seniors.
282
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:54,786
Typical.
283
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,087
I'll keep Dad company.
284
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,255
Thank you, Bart.
285
00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,025
GRAMPA (moaning):
Oh, I dropped it.
286
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,761
Hey, wha-what did you
put down my back?
287
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:03,962
Could be a tarantula,
288
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:04,963
could just be some yarn.
289
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,164
I'll be at Milhouse's.
290
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,033
(whining fearfully)
291
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,337
(sighing)
292
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,274
What the hell?
293
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:19,110
Oh, it's such a pleasure
to pour tea for someone
294
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,112
and not have to
help him chew it.
295
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,681
We've made our choices.
296
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,783
And the world doesn't
understand them,
297
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,184
but we do.
298
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,788
Oh!
Ew...
299
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,756
Oh...
Aw...
300
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,859
You know Marge,
somehow I feel that
301
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,327
more than anyone,
you understand
302
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,064
those horrible words,
"What do you see in him?"
303
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,498
I never said this,
304
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,501
but did you ever think
we cling to these guys
305
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,538
because we're afraid
to admit we were wrong?
306
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,339
Do you really think that?
307
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,209
Well, I've tried to
use it constructively.
308
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,713
I try to have
"the serenity
309
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,481
"to accept the things
I cannot change
310
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,683
and the courage to change
the things I can."
311
00:11:58,685 --> 00:11:59,984
HOMER:
That's what they said to me
312
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,187
at that Alcoholics Unanimous
meeting!
313
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,588
(groans)
314
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,023
LISA:
Attention, bus riders!
315
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,425
My new seating plan
avoids conflict
316
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,261
through the use of
complex social algorithms.
317
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,831
It teams up
compatible seatmates
318
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,899
and places Milhouse with no one.
319
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,036
Yet somehow,
I'm still a little scared.
320
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,004
Otto, why are you
sitting in back?
321
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,006
Waiting for my assignment,
chief.
322
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,008
The driver's seat.
You're the driver.
323
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,343
Still me?
324
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,079
(scoffs)
New management, same mistakes.
325
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:33,585
It's so quiet. I've never been
able to hear my music before.
326
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,854
(rock music plays
over headphones)
327
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,655
Ooh, it sucks.
328
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,625
LISA:
This is just the beginning.
329
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,026
Soon I'll have control over
330
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,962
every aspect of their lives.
331
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:48,433
And then I'll make them achieve
their un-dreamt dreams.
332
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,802
Sherri next to Terri.
333
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,203
Jimbo next to Dolph.
334
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,905
No one next to Milhouse.
335
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,640
Ralph next to
his invisible friend.
336
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,041
Kearney next to Nelson.
337
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,977
Martin next to Wendell.
338
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,945
Cosine next to Database.
339
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,249
(gasps)
340
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,584
My first PG-13 fantasy.
341
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,620
Since we haven't been able
to get a settlement,
342
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,922
we'll have to start preparing
you for your deposition.
343
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,925
Caroline here will stand in
for the opposing attorney.
344
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,627
Good afternoon,
Mr. Burns.
345
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,096
Release the hounds.
346
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:21,232
Uh, sir, you should try to
project a friendlier demeanor.
347
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,234
Release the hounds.
348
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,636
Please.
349
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,638
Seriously, sir, it
would really be wise
350
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,106
not to mention
the hounds.
351
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,141
Oh, that's like telling
Three-Finger Brown
352
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,010
he can't play
for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops.
353
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,144
(groans)
354
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,579
MARGE:
Waylon,
355
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:35,613
now I can see why
356
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,650
so many women in movies
have gay friends.
357
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,653
Like Princess Leia
and C-3PO.
358
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,088
Listen, I made this for you.
359
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,490
(gasps)
Oh, my God.
360
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,092
No one ever gives me a gift.
Thank you.
361
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:51,029
No one ever tells me thank you.
362
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,198
I think you see my true self.
363
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,701
The one I never
pay attention to at all.
364
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,003
Oh, my God.
I want to kiss him.
365
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,105
SMITHERS: Oh, my God.
She wants to kiss me.
366
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,173
MARGE: I'm a married woman.
SMITHERS: She would
367
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,008
look good with a mustache.
368
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,077
(phone vibrates)
369
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,219
Uh, I've got to go.
370
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,157
Thank God I've got
a husband with benefits.
371
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,559
Come here, you.
372
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,061
Okay, but... (exclaims)
373
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,975
Mmm... Smithers.
374
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,143
HOMER:
Wait a sec.
375
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:42,747
Marge is getting her emotional
needs fulfilled by another man,
376
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,650
and now she needs me
for nothing but sex.
377
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,785
I'm the luckiest husband
in the world!
378
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:56,160
You haven't gotten that
stupid signature yet?
379
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,328
No.
380
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,863
And I'm not sure I want to.
381
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,531
You defy me?
382
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,767
Smithers, pour me
a glass of water.
383
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,839
Now squeeze my chest.
384
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:09,440
(coughs)
385
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,910
Now, either get that signature
or you're in charge
386
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,245
of restarting our plant
at Chernobyl.
387
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,580
That was us?
388
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,048
That doesn't
leave this room.
389
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,919
Well brother,
prepare to enjoy another day
390
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:24,055
of calm, peaceful behavior
on the school bus.
391
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,257
I got to warn you,
a lot of kids
392
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,259
are pretty unhappy with
the required seating.
393
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,794
(chuckles)
394
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,096
Well, they'll be happy
when I also organize
395
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,732
cafeteria seating,
who's picked for teams,
396
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,735
and I've divided the playground
into swingers and pushers.
397
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,070
That's insane.
398
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,539
You just bought yourself
a year of pushing.
399
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,820
LISA: Order. Order.
Maintain order.
400
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,522
Tunnel.
401
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,858
♪ ♪
402
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:14,973
Whee!
403
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,176
♪ ♪
404
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,947
This message
couldn't be clearer.
405
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,582
The children need more sauce
on their spaghetti.
406
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:25,917
Also, their spelling
is atrocious.
407
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,018
(tires screech)
408
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,023
Well, at least I have me photos.
409
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,024
(screams)
410
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,026
(laughter)
411
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,095
I thought I had
made things better.
412
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,698
Lisa, the bus
is supposed to be crazy.
413
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,101
It's the brief respite
between the twin nightmares
414
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,335
of home and school.
415
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,371
The one thing a
know-it-all doesn't know
416
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:49,140
is that everyone
hates a know-it-all.
417
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,942
Did we, uh, lose anyone?
418
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,777
Just the police chief's son.
419
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,846
(beeping)
420
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,883
I bit a rat.
421
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,284
(clears throat)
422
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,287
Marge, this is the
last time I'm coming by.
423
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,989
Oh. Well, that's fine.
424
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,825
I mean, I do have
my knitting to get to.
425
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:08,993
♪ Mm-hmm! ♪
426
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,795
I'm going to a living hell
427
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,030
followed by a certain death.
428
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,965
Here's a picture
to remember me by.
429
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,801
Taken by my grandma
from her deathbed.
430
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,970
(sniffles)
The last thing she saw.
431
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,974
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
432
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,375
Mmm.
433
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,910
What's wrong, honey?
434
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,414
Oh, I don't feel like
I have anyone to talk to.
435
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,582
I appreciate that,
and I'd like to talk.
436
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:35,086
I'm just so drained after all
the time I spend with the kids.
437
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,487
BART:
What time?
438
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,656
I took you
to that colonial village.
439
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,658
That was a pub at the airport.
440
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,361
I had an ale. You sat on a
barrel. That makes it colonial.
441
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,563
Homer, I'm sorry, you
have to understand.
442
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,434
Without Waylon to talk to,
I feel completely alone.
443
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,169
I totally get it.
444
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,937
One question: who's Waylon?
445
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,172
Smithers.
446
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,907
Totally get it.
447
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,443
Oh, my wife really needs
something and to get it
448
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,745
I may have to forego
my settlement.
449
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,347
Homer, you fell down a
trapdoor into a cement mixer.
450
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,216
Don't you think I deserve
something for that?
451
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,618
I'm just trying
to do what's right.
452
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,954
Then why did you
file a lawsuit?
453
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,090
I really think you should
454
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,558
change the venue, sir.
455
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,726
You can't win a case
in this town.
456
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,529
Oh, are they still mad about me
eating the town panda?
457
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,031
Get over it.
458
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,101
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
459
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:26,704
I'm willing to sign anything
you want on one condition.
460
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,406
Fine.
What's your condition?
461
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,209
You have to keep
Mr. Smithers here.
462
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,611
I see.
And are you fool enough
463
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,713
to believe a man's handshake
means anything?
464
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,115
I am.
465
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,316
Well, put 'er there.
466
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,084
Homer, no!
467
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,720
Why doesn't anyone
ever think of the lawyer?
468
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,456
Aw, if I do a slip 'n' fall
on the courthouse steps,
469
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,091
would that help?
470
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,726
(sniffs)
It might.
471
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,065
See you Thursday.
472
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,300
And I'll see you Thursday night.
473
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,002
Oh. (chuckles)
474
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,339
And I'll see you
early Friday morning.
475
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,107
Mm-hmm.
476
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,342
Mm-hmm.
477
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,844
Oh, these slippery stairs.
478
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,312
(exclaiming)
479
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,914
(gasps)
Homie!
480
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,015
Marge, no!
481
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,187
(honks)
482
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,689
Marge,
483
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:21,425
I know Smithers
was good at talking to you.
484
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,127
And I want to talk to you too.
485
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,695
Oh.
486
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,265
Just don't expect me
to be great at first.
487
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:33,171
Oh, honey, no one's great
their first time.
488
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,972
It's like baking.
489
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,608
Uh, okay, well, uh...
490
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,943
I like you.
491
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,145
And I adore you.
492
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,948
You sacrificed yourself
for my happiness.
493
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,983
There is nothing
that makes a woman
494
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,186
feel more cherished
and secure.
495
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,987
Thank you, my darling.
496
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:53,124
(whispers):
Marge, this is going great.
497
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:55,993
GRAMPA:
Now don't you worry,
I made you both soup.
498
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,896
Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot.
499
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,364
Two hours in the microwave.
500
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,966
(exclaims)
501
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:14,145
Who knows what the "D.C." stands
for in Washington, D.C.? Anyone?
502
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:15,012
Anyone?
503
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,180
Mustn't be a know-it-all.
504
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,149
Never again. Not worth it.
505
00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:20,084
D.C. Anyone?
506
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:23,020
Daddy's kitchen?
(grumbles)
507
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,388
Not quite.
Anyone else?
508
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,990
No? Okay.
509
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:29,860
Children, "D.C." stands for
"District of the Capitol."
510
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,395
No it doesn't!
511
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,264
The answer is
"District of Columbia."
512
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,600
And Miss Hoover, I don't
want to be a smarty pants,
513
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,102
but the previous answer
was Texas.
514
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,904
Before that, 1848.
515
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,739
Before that, Seward's Folly.
516
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,708
And your dentist appointment
is not tomorrow,
517
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,310
it's the day after.
Thank you.
518
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,851
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
519
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:34,992
♪ The wiki-wakka
liki-lakka Mr. Burns ♪
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♪ The wiki-wakka liki-lakka... ♪