1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:03,602
(Homer grunts)
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,905
Bring up the couch.
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,607
(grunting)
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:13,545
(sighs)
5
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,184
(clinking)
6
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,196
I'm a return!
7
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,970
(exclaims)
8
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,077
(school bell ringing)
9
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:48,313
(Barney belches)
10
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,017
(tires screech)
11
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,419
D'oh!
12
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,222
APP:
Turn left.
13
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,257
You're the driver.
14
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,525
(horns honking)
15
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,726
MAN:
Watch it, ya jerk!
16
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,428
APP:
Turn left. Don't look at me.
17
00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:04,629
Look at the road.
18
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:05,897
Yes, dear.
19
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:08,300
(tires screeching,
horns honking)
20
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:12,237
In 50 feet ago,
U-turn without signaling.
21
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,438
Oh...
22
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,073
(tires screech)
23
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,809
(horn honks)
24
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,578
Turn left, into Garbage Alley.
25
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,947
(engine revving,
tires screeching)
26
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,417
(tires screech)
27
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,119
Mmm.
28
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,224
Uh, uh...
29
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,659
Huh? What? Huh?
30
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,428
What the hell do those mean?
31
00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:39,164
Can't stop,
I have to hit one of them.
32
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:40,599
Man or dog?
33
00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,100
Oh, it's a Snoopy's Choice.
34
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,935
(sighs)
I guess your days
35
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,670
of eating out of the garbage
are over, Gil.
36
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,105
Hey...
(yells)
37
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,440
(moans)
38
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,942
APP:
I was never here.
39
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:53,145
I saw nothing.
40
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,948
Now I do have to warn
you, if Gil sues,
41
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,984
he'll end up with
everything you've got.
42
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,619
But that's everything I got.
43
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,955
Okay, kids, give me
your best worried looks.
44
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,524
Ooh, that's good worry.
45
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,292
And Maggie, when we visit Gil,
46
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,162
you should think about your mom
and me disappearing forever
47
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:12,498
any time we step behind a wall.
48
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,700
Where am I?
49
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,002
Where am I?
50
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,537
(footsteps departing)
51
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,506
No, seriously, where did I go?
52
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:22,707
It's so dark in here.
53
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,176
(shrieks)
Maggie!
54
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,712
(pounding on wall)
55
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,182
Ol' Gil,
56
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,817
there must be something
we can do for you.
57
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:34,819
Hmm? Hmm?
58
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,322
Ah, there sure is, you can
let me scratch your husband.
59
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,657
Sure, but why?
60
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,158
Because you're
the lottery ticket
61
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:41,993
I've been waiting
for all my life!
62
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,328
Bam!
63
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,330
Zing!
Before this goes
any further,
64
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,500
can you just take one look
at our darling daughters?
65
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,736
Mr. Gunderson? They don't let
saxophones in the I.C.U.,
66
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:54,172
so I'll just tell you
the song I wrote for you.
67
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:55,540
B-flat, C, D-flat...
68
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,409
If memory serves,
you have a son.
...B-flat, C...
69
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,678
Where's he at?
♪ Long G. ♪
70
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,081
(imitates old woman): I'm here
to give Mr. Gunderson his shot.
71
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,183
Boy, the "putting
him in a coma" idea
72
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,018
was just dinner
table chatter.
73
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,587
I did not sign off.
74
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,188
You tapped your nose.
75
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:11,690
I was scratching it.
76
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,026
Well, I got to put
something in a coma.
77
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,762
Why, you little...
78
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,764
(moans)
79
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:22,067
Well, I'll see you in court.
Zing!
80
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,201
Ah, cha-cha-cha!
81
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,703
Cha-cha-cha?
82
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,870
That's hopeful.
83
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,539
Cha-cha-ching!
84
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,241
Oh.
85
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,779
Your Honor, my client
had just turned his life around.
86
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:37,082
His daughter recently bought
a washing machine
87
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,117
and promised him the box
to live in.
88
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,086
Do you think they'll send
Dad away forever?
89
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,587
Oh, no, sweetie.
90
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,723
They just want
all our money.
91
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:48,160
(gasps) Will they send us
to live with other families?
92
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,762
(horse neighs)
93
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,066
Miss Simpson, from now on
you shall live with us,
94
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,902
receiving musical instruction
from Mr. Adolphe Sax himself.
95
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,304
(whoops)
96
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,606
Adolphe. A name that
will only be associated
97
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,075
with beautiful music.
98
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:07,245
BART: We'll be free
to do whatever we want.
99
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,080
A thousand bucks a kidney?
100
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,148
Take them both.
101
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,249
Hmm.
102
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,318
BART:
Ay, caramba!
103
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,187
(both sigh)
104
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,789
Mr. Simpson,
105
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,624
you deliberately ran your car
106
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,494
into my paycheck...
I-I mean, my client.
107
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,462
No, "paycheck" is better.
108
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,931
What possible defense
could you have?
109
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,266
I had no other choice.
110
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,467
I didn't want to hit a dog.
111
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:30,468
ALL:
Aw...
112
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,003
A dog?
He saved a dog?
113
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,605
He was gonna
save a dog.
Wow.
114
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,939
People love dogs.
115
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:37,008
This is our key
to winning this case.
116
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,143
You're on my side, right?
117
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,277
I am.
118
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:40,479
(whoops)
119
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,481
Now, go ahead, son.
120
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,850
You tell us how
you got your dog.
121
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,452
(in Cockney accent):
It was Christmas, sir.
122
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:50,288
We saved him
and he saved us.
123
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,956
Now we love the dog,
124
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,659
and the dog gives us
all the love we could handle.
125
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,027
Love.
126
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:57,295
ALL:
Aw...
127
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,997
Could the stenographer
read that last part back
128
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,965
with sentimental music?
129
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,335
(sentimental music playing)
(Cockney accent):
"The dog gives us all the love
130
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,338
we could handle. Love."
131
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,674
Does the defendant
ask this court
132
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,210
to believe that in order
to avoid hitting a dog,
133
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,546
it is acceptable
to hit a human--
134
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,147
my client?
135
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,383
It's looking good, Homie.
According to our consultant,
136
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,053
the toughest nut to crack
is juror number six.
137
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,055
Aw, good doggy.
138
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,991
Ladies and gentlemen,
this man is a human being,
139
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:29,327
just like you or me.
140
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,529
Surely his life has more value
141
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:36,000
than some creature that scoots
its buttocks along the ground.
142
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,335
ALL:
Aw...
143
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,803
Or-or gets
its head stuck
144
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,839
in an empty
pickle jar.
145
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,340
ALL:
Aw!
146
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,576
Or walks on
a hot sidewalk
147
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,545
in a way that suggests
it's dancing!
148
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,848
ALL:
Aw!
149
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,083
This is ridiculous.
I'm a human being here,
150
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,018
not some dumb animal.
151
00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,353
What?
I never.
152
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,188
Who are you
calling dumb?
153
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,858
The dogs who sniff for bombs
at the airport?
154
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:04,596
The St. Bernards who save lives
on the slopes of St. Moritz?
155
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,197
Or this one?
156
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,233
(playing "The Maple Leaf Rag")
157
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,571
(all laughing)
(Gil moans)
158
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,673
Now, I have a brief instruction
for the jury:
159
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,209
"There's more sanctity
in a dog's loyalty
160
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:20,412
than there is
in all your human laws."
161
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,551
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, how...
162
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,386
Not guilty.
(sighs)
163
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:29,754
Case dismissed.
164
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,924
We won! It's all
because of you, boy.
165
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,426
Mwah.
CROWD:
Aw...
166
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,394
Aw, I have never
been more glad
167
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,229
that I didn't hit
you with my car,
168
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:40,064
secretly bury you,
get another greyhound,
169
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:43,134
paint it your exact coloring,
then realize it's a girl,
170
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,737
stick on a fake wang, and
pretend that she's you
171
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,106
for however long
dogs live.
172
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,341
CROWD:
Aw...
173
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,745
Take us to the dog park!
174
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,413
(all cheering)
175
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,415
I know I've been through a lot,
176
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,984
but I always believed people
cared about a human being
177
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,820
more than a dog.
178
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,088
HOMER: Hold it,
I forgot my phone charger.
179
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,824
(Gil screams)
180
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,158
(sighs)
181
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,160
(screams)
182
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:10,662
HOMER: Oh, wait,
this isn't mine.
183
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,864
(moans)
184
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,270
It's now official:
a Springfield jury has decided
185
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,474
that the life of this greyhound
is more valuable
186
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:25,176
than the life of this
Greyhound station inhabitant.
187
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:28,780
Look at me, I'm a big man.
A big man!
188
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,148
Anybody got a quarter?
189
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,450
Got to be a quarter,
not two dimes and a nickel.
190
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,985
That ain't worth jack.
191
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,187
What's your take on all
this, Anger Watkins?
192
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,491
I'm angrier than a beehive
in a paint mixer.
193
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,459
This is the craziest
legal decision
194
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,361
ever made outside
of Arizona.
195
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,463
What's next?
Cats get credit cards?
196
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,699
Let a snail race
in the Indy 500?
197
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,801
(whispers):
Like that stupid movie Turbo?
198
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,470
I tried to inhale
nitrous oxide to get fast.
199
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:55,540
I ended up naked
behind an appliance store!
200
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:56,641
Lies!
201
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,543
Lies! Lies!
202
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,713
Oh, you're gonna get
ten walks a day, boy.
203
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,848
(quietly): You can
even bite the mailman.
204
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:04,883
(whines happily)
205
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,685
There he is.
206
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,021
America's number one
doggy daddy.
207
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,489
Would you care to
do the honors?
208
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:12,657
Would I!
209
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,826
Uh, that's what I asked.
210
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,628
Would you?
211
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,162
(shutter clicks)
212
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,999
You're the greatest man
I know one thing about!
213
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,235
(cheering, horns honking)
214
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,040
Look at all those voters.
215
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:31,075
What is our current position
on dogs?
216
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,744
We currently have
a city employee
217
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:35,013
who rounds them up
and puts them to sleep.
218
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,015
What? I can't believe
such a jerk
219
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,017
would even be
elected dog catcher.
220
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,519
From this point forth,
this town will be known
221
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,255
as the dog-loving capital
of the world.
222
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,757
That'll put Springfield
on the map.
223
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,592
Yeah, why aren't we
on the map?
224
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,862
I don't know. I made, like,
20 calls to Rand McNally.
225
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,864
They don't even know
what state we're in.
226
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:56,100
Thanks to these hastily-passed
untested pandering laws,
227
00:08:56,135 --> 00:09:00,204
Springfield is now the most
dog-friendly city in America.
228
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,706
(crowd cheers)
229
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,441
Er, uh, arf.
230
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,220
♪ ♪
231
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:31,603
(gasps)
232
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,480
Is there anything here
the dogs haven't gotten into?
233
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,148
Just the dog food.
234
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,250
Why are you shutting me down?
235
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:48,486
You made a dog wait
for a teeth cleaning
236
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,255
while you saved a
racehorse's life?
237
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,459
And you call yourself
a veterinarian. Ha.
238
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:55,927
And you know what
we found inside?
239
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,595
Dogs in cages.
240
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,497
That's no way to treat
man's best friend.
241
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:00,632
Lock him up.
242
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,766
In a cage.
243
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:02,967
Like a dog.
244
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,268
Don't you understand?
245
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,671
Dogs are born
to follow and obey.
246
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,439
The moment the pack realizes
247
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,109
that humans are no longer
their masters,
248
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:15,013
thousands of years
of domestication will fall away.
249
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:18,116
They'll revert
to their wild wolf nature.
250
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,517
Well, then I guess
you'll be happy
251
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,953
being nice and
safe in jail.
252
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,622
Oh, yes, please!
Take me there now.
253
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,124
You're all doomed!
254
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,326
Doomed.
255
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,629
Santa's Little Helper
didn't come home last night.
256
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,165
If you were a dog these
days, would you come home?
257
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,968
It's like doggy heaven
out there, only real.
258
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,469
Doggy heaven isn't real?
259
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:39,671
No! No, it's real!
260
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,806
The dogs all have
harps and wings.
261
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:43,875
How do they play harps
if they don't have fingers?
262
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,044
Um... dogs have fingers
in heaven.
263
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,945
How do you know so much
about dog heaven?
264
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,381
I died for five minutes and
was sent there by mistake.
265
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,649
Now leave me alone.
266
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:54,019
(whining)
267
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,488
Hmm...
268
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:58,990
Ooh! Come on, girl.
269
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:01,325
Ow! Ow, ow. Just get
him by the collar.
270
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,528
You can do it. Come
on, don't bite me.
271
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,496
Come on. Pull.
Come on.
272
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,699
Dad, we don't have
time for this.
273
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,534
Quiet. I'm doing
something important.
274
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,869
There you go.
Yes, that's it!
275
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,871
Well, well, well,
276
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:16,841
look what the cat dragged in.
277
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,843
Worth it.
Totally worth it.
278
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,178
I know.
279
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,679
(dogs barking)
280
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:23,348
(barking continues)
281
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,253
Kirk, Taquito is
digging up my dahlias.
282
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,689
Stop him.
Mm.
283
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:34,092
Sorry.
(growling)
284
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,359
(gasps)
Please don't hurt me.
285
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:36,728
I'm exposing my belly.
286
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:39,530
See? Exposing. Exposing!
(gasping)
287
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,566
(growling)
288
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,368
(dogs snarling)
289
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,106
(growling)
290
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:57,782
(howls)
291
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,618
(chuckles)
See ya later, Moe!
292
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:05,456
Huh? My car's not starting.
293
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,725
Oh, I see the problem.
294
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,560
Out of gas.
295
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,763
Well, probably safer
to walk anyway.
296
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,234
Yep, nothing safer than walking.
297
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,902
This is so healthy.
298
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,238
Thanks to this walk,
I'll live a lot longer.
299
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,674
(dramatic music plays)
300
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,646
(dogs growling)
301
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,415
Hey, here come some
of my four-footed friends.
302
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,651
I guess you want to meet the guy
who's responsible
303
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,586
for making
all your lives better.
304
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,155
(dogs growling)
305
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,157
Okay, wait a minute.
Let me guess.
306
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,325
Collie, dachshund,
Tibetan Mastiff,
307
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,261
otterhound, Swedish Vallhund,
308
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,496
Finnish Spitz,
Norwegian Lundehund,
309
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,766
Catahoula Leopard Dog,
Lagotto Romagnolo,
310
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,334
and three wolves!
311
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,336
(shrieks)
312
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:54,539
Stand back! Back!
313
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:56,941
Ow!
314
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,342
Oh!
(snarling)
315
00:12:58,377 --> 00:12:59,677
You don't scare me.
316
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,579
Your bark is worse
than your bite.
317
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,114
(barking)
318
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,082
Oh, those horrible barks!
319
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,752
(Homer whimpering)
320
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,820
(dogs barking)
321
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,321
(yipping)
322
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,623
BUDGIE:
Dr. Budgie warned them.
323
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,192
Dr. Budgie warned all of them.
324
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,194
But did they listen
to Dr. Budgie?
325
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,629
All right, that's it.
I'm comin' in there!
326
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,464
Oh, for cryin'
out... (sighs)
327
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,466
Maybe if I
turn sideways.
328
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,869
(grunts) Lou, get
the bar butter!
329
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:28,973
This is what happens when
you buy European prison cells.
330
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:29,974
(gasps)
331
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,475
(growling)
332
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:34,345
(grunting, panting)
Kids, lower the Purge armor!
333
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,180
We don't have
any Purge armor.
334
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,850
Oh, right. I always mean to buy
it the day after the Purge,
335
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,685
when it's cheaper.
What happened?
336
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,186
The dogs have gone savage!
337
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,821
They've taken over the town!
338
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,822
(howling in distance)
(whines)
339
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:45,823
(gasps)
No, boy.
340
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:47,658
Resist the call of the wild.
341
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,894
Like I did when they assigned
that book for summer reading.
342
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,063
Somebody help! Stop him!
343
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,032
(laughing)
344
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:56,033
(grunts)
345
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,201
D'oh!
346
00:13:57,236 --> 00:14:00,004
Oh, we've lost him to the pack.
347
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,706
No, he's a good dog.
348
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,507
He'd never turn against us.
349
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:06,377
Hmm, he's ripping the stuffing
out of your car seats.
350
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,678
Oh, yeah?!
351
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:08,880
You think you're so smart?!
352
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:12,016
Okay! I'm eating your dog food!
353
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,718
This is on you!
354
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,853
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
355
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:21,759
(dogs howling)
356
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,764
Hmm. Not one student
showed up to school
357
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,767
just because a pack
of ferocious, masterless dogs
358
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,535
are roaming the playground.
359
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,371
GIL:
Ow! Damn it!
360
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,374
I thought we sent Willie
out there to deal with them.
361
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,710
I did. But he, uh,
hasn't returned.
362
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,713
I've finally been accepted
for who I truly am.
363
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:45,049
(howls)
364
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,585
(grunting, snarling)
365
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,722
(dogs snarling)
366
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,724
How come I don't get
a dog-proof suit?
367
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,726
Because I smell
like lamb, Lou.
368
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:58,396
Very well. You were
right and we were wrong.
369
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,899
Yes. Um, can you remove
the shackles?
370
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,401
Don't push your luck.
371
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:06,103
These dogs, they walk around
all high and mighty,
372
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,439
no regard for anyone else
on the planet.
373
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,274
I mean, that's humans' job!
374
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,110
Repeal the stupid new laws!
375
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,079
Yes. Repeal the dog--
376
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:17,448
(quietly):
and child labor-- laws!
377
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,084
Fine, just the dog ones.
378
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:21,652
I say "status," you say...
379
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:22,653
CROWD:
Quo!
380
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,088
So passed!
381
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,325
Well, everything's back
to normal again.
382
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,894
It's a pity no one told
the dogs that.
383
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,762
CROWD: Huh?
Wha?!
384
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:34,598
You fools have surrendered
your position as alpha dogs.
385
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,968
Until you reassert
human dominance,
386
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:41,138
it is you who will be calling
these savage canines master.
387
00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:45,109
Who among you is brave enough
to tame this slobbering horde?
388
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,777
(panicked chatter)
389
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,312
(chatter dies away)
390
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:51,115
Well, I guess
it's up to ol' Gil.
391
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,850
Gil? Why are you helping
these people
392
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,452
who think
so little of you?
393
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,120
That's why
I'm doin' it!
394
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,023
To show everyone I'm
not the town failure.
395
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,459
I thought I was
the town failure!
396
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,361
(chuckles)
You're not even that.
397
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,595
Aw!
398
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,130
So who will come with me?!
399
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,798
CROWD:
None of us!
400
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,133
One more time!
401
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,334
CROWD:
Nobody!
402
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,169
I can't hear you!
403
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,705
CROWD:
Yes, you can!
404
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,374
Standing next to me
405
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,376
is the man whose life
we all agreed
406
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,378
was worth less than a dog.
407
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:24,548
I say we stand behind him
as he redeems himself!
408
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,217
Even though he did
nothing wrong.
409
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,686
CROWD (chanting):
Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
410
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,322
Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
411
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,725
Gil, Gil!
412
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,195
We've got to get
Santa's Little Helper back.
413
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,831
(stammers)
It's too dangerous!
414
00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:42,500
You kids
ain't goin' nowhere!
415
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,768
I got this.
416
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,571
(snoring)
417
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,573
Fine. But we
can't go out alone.
418
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:53,077
We need someone who knows
how to fend off angry dogs.
419
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:55,413
(raving indistinctly)
420
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,081
Here, boy! Come on, boy!
421
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,183
Oh, where can he be?
422
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,018
(Cat Lady moans)
423
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,221
(creaking)
424
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,235
Grampa, I called to make sure
the kids are okay.
425
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,738
They're not okay!
The boy's got sass,
426
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,074
and the girl thinks
she's Queen of the May.
427
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,743
You leave 'em with me
and I'll straighten 'em out!
428
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,411
I did leave them with you.
429
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,380
Why the hell would you do that?!
430
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,749
Here, boy.
Here, boy. Here, boy.
431
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,250
(squeaking)
432
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,920
(both whimpering)
433
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,624
(gasps)
It's the alpha.
434
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:44,261
I know that dog.
435
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,896
It's the one Milhouse got
436
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:48,433
when he didn't wet
the bed for a week.
437
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,604
(growling)
438
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,075
We're about to die
at the hands of a dog!
439
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,777
Paws. Dogs have paws.
440
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:02,113
Just remember the last thing
you did in life was correct me.
441
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:04,248
Oh, that actually
makes me feel better.
442
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,684
♪ ♪
443
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,924
This has gone on long enough!
444
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,626
(yipping)
445
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,627
You sit!
446
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:17,761
(growling)
447
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:18,829
(growling)
448
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,831
(growling)
449
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,000
(yipping)
450
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,702
I'm sorry!
451
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,939
Mom, you've become
the alpha dog!
452
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,775
Dogs are nice.
I love dogs.
453
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:34,011
Because, in dogs,
we see the things we wish
454
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,280
we saw more of in people:
455
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:39,483
lifelong friendship,
unwavering loyalty,
456
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,786
and a willingness
to eat anything you cook.
457
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,121
You rang?
458
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,323
Ol' Gil's here
to save the day!
459
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,325
Where are those out
of control pooches?
460
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,828
Sorry, ol' Gil,
you're too late.
461
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,297
But-but I was supposed
to redeem myself
462
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:55,332
and finally earn
the town's respect.
463
00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:57,134
Uh, good job, Gil.
464
00:18:57,169 --> 00:19:00,838
You had to stop at the Automat
for an egg salad sandwich.
465
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,040
Well, at least
you still have the sandwich.
466
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,909
(growls)
Uh... Aw...
467
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,045
Baz, you belong
with the Flanders.
468
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,146
Okily-dokily.
469
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,881
Dalmatian, fire department.
470
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,050
(barks, siren wails)
471
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,685
Mr. Burns, the hounds.
472
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,187
Excellent.
473
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,655
Uh, since you were gone,
474
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,323
all I had to release were
the June bugs.
475
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:22,660
(buzzing)
476
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,028
Willie, Skinner.
477
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,063
Aw, good boy.
478
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,166
(howls)
479
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:33,470
♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪
480
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,172
♪ ♪
481
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:38,842
♪ Ooh, you make me live
now, honey ♪
482
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,177
♪ Ooh, you make me live... ♪
(meows)
483
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,046
You'll have your day.
484
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,080
(meows)
485
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,421
It's gonna be hard to cheer
myself up after this day.
486
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,855
(whimpering)
487
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:53,190
Hey, little fella!
488
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,892
You had a bad night, too, huh?
489
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,028
Come on out. I won't hurt ya.
490
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:02,233
(chuckles) You just licked away
a very bad day.
491
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,867
(barking)
492
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,636
Attaboy!
493
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,085
(dog howling)
Shh!
494
00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,956
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH