Tales From the Public Domain

Homer gets a letter from the library telling him about an overdue book.  He checked it out when Bart was born to have something to read his child.  Lisa suggests that he read them some stories from it now.  Homer starts by telling the tale of the…
a). "Odyssey"
Homer is Odysseus, who delivers a Trojan horse to the King.  After his troops are victorious, Odysseus ticks off the gods by refusing to make a sacrifice.  They take their revenge upon him when they blow him and his crew off course, where they almost meet the Sirens and finally Circe, who turns his men into pigs.  After Odysseus eats his men, he has to cross the river Styx to return home.  When he arrives he takes out the trash.
b). "Joan of Arc"
Lisa is Joan in this retelling of the story of Joan of Arc.  Joan sets out to help lead the French army to victory against the English, which she does, until she is captured.  Joan is found guilty and is about to be burned at the stake, when Marge, not much for tragic endings, changes the ending so that Joan lives.
c). "Hamlet"
Bart is Hamlet and Homer asks him to avenge his death.  Moe (as Uncle Claudius) had Homer killed so that he could marry the queen (Marge) and take over the kingdom.  Hamlet discovers the king's treachery and goes to avenge his father's death.  When he kills the wrong man, he must duel with Laertes (Ralph).  When Laertes dispatches himself, Hamlet kills Uncle Claudius, then himself.  Rather than clean up the mess, the queen also dispatches herself.  Everyone is dead.
Bart can't believe how boring the last story was, but Homer reminds him that is also became a great movie called "Ghostbusters."  The family dances as the theme to that classic film plays in the background.