1 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:16,350 (Sopranos theme song) 2 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,280 Okay, listen up. 3 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:58,619 This is the nasd series 7 stockbroker's exam. 4 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:02,664 It will test your knowledge of stocks, bonds and other securities. 5 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:07,377 If your last name starts with a through I, you should be next door. 6 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:12,549 The exam is in two parts, each part is three hours long... 7 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,509 There will be a one-hour break. 8 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,012 As I call your name, please answer "here." 9 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,139 - Martin, Samantha. - Here. 10 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,099 - Mcclure, Peter. - Here. 11 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,895 - Moltisanti, Christopher. - Here! 12 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,163 (Pop song playing) 13 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:47,871 (Pop song continues) 14 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,051 Tony! 15 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,177 Ton'! 16 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,305 Jesus Christ! 17 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:12,766 Can I talk to you? 18 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,477 - Where the fuck you been? - We're gonna talk here? 19 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,318 - Come in the house. - I got your word, I walk in... 20 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,819 I'm walking back out. 21 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,280 I don't see you for all this time. 22 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,450 No word. Nothing. 23 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,202 This is how you come back? 24 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:33,912 Do I got your word? 25 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,595 Coffee? 26 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,390 No. 27 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,727 You look good. 28 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,481 - Tan. - Yeah, right. 29 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,732 The tan ghost. 30 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:06,528 You're a good guy, Tony, but you abuse that jokey shit. 31 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,614 - What you gotta say to me? - I'm back, Tony. 32 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:10,864 I'm tan. 33 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,411 I'm in a fucking tan nightmare. 34 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,204 What, you think I'm stupid? 35 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:20,917 I don't know it when every one of my friends turns against me? Fuck! 36 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,879 All right, easy, okay? I don't think you're stupid. 37 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,340 There was a fucking rat. 38 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,134 So you finger me? 39 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,054 You think I didn't know what was going on... 40 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,975 When you come to my house, telling me you're my friend? 41 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,310 That's when I knew I was in trouble. 42 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,897 When out of the blue you start telling me you're my friend! 43 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,735 - Oh, is that right? - ( Carmela )anthony Jr., get up! 44 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,070 ( Anthony ) I think I'm sick! 45 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,828 You owe me the fucking explanation! You know it! 46 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,497 Well, remind me never to get sick again. 47 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:03,668 Never to have a serious illness, because with you, sylvio and Paulie... 48 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:07,213 And all you pricks, weakness spreads as fucking treason! 49 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,800 Fuck you! I don't want to hear about your back anymore! 50 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:15,430 Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who gets the explanation? 51 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,476 Am I supposed to trust you? You off-the-reservation cocksucker! 52 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,439 It was a broad, Tony. It was complicated. 53 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,943 - My back was for shit, you knew that. - I don't want to hear about your back! 54 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,030 That's how we met. This fucking "spondylolisth." 55 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,785 That's why I was popping percocets like freaking jujubes. 56 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:41,456 So my doctor, he prescribes this clinic for me in Puerto Rico. 57 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:46,002 I didn't exactly object, given the vibes around here. 58 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,253 Go ahead, check. 59 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,882 - You don't tell your wife? - That twat brought on most of this. 60 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,467 - How? - Listen. 61 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,969 Down there I met this girl. 62 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,304 Twenty-six... 63 00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:01,309 An acupuncturist. It was the only thing that helped my sciatic nerve. 64 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,311 One thing led to another. 65 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,648 - You can't send one feeler to me? - I'm gonna trust you? 66 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:10,735 Paulie? Take the word of a degenerate cop over me? 67 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,988 ( Carmela ) Tony, who are you talking to down there? 68 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,242 Jesus! ( Door slams ) 69 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:23,081 So why'd you come back, huh? What changed? 70 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,210 Nothing changed. That's the problem. 71 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,924 Still got two kids in college. One just got married, needs my help. 72 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,635 I gotta get my action back. 73 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,053 Oh, just like that? 74 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,516 I came to you, Tony. I'm in your hands. 75 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,978 Bring up two cases of bottled water with you, then! 76 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,902 Come here. 77 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,239 Come here, you fat fuck. 78 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:08,126 Hey, my back! I still gotta get these frigging shots. 79 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,714 You fucking beached whale. 80 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,048 Hey! 81 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,092 Want to pat this down too? 82 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,470 Come here. 83 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,848 Come on. 84 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,775 Don't ever pull this shit again. 85 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,828 - So your uncle's under indictment? - 12 rico predicates. 86 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,122 Who stepped up to run his crew? 87 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,416 Piss boy. Philly parisi. 88 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,293 Oh, yeah, Philly. 89 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,797 Philly! Don't forget the pastries! 90 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,774 That's my favorite bag. Don't lose it. 91 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,095 Yo, Philly! 92 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,273 Were you waiting long? 93 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,652 Not bad. We were late landing anyhow. Thanks for doing this, Philly. 94 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,738 Coming off the I am, every nickel counts. 95 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,284 These fucking cabs! 96 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,202 So how's Boston? 97 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,706 It was good to be back for a while, then, you know... 98 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:14,085 Do I? That place is Scranton, with clams. 99 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,339 So, what's been going on? 100 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,758 Same tale of woe... 101 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:25,972 What's this I hear about Tony soprano's mother, some accident? 102 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,810 - Had her in a nursing home. - Get out of here. 103 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,062 This upset junior no end. 104 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,189 When junior come after him... 105 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:38,526 Tony went to the home, tried to suffocate his own mother. 106 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,071 You shouldn't spread that rumor. That's some ugly shit. 107 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,406 Only telling you. 108 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,286 - Listen, you'd be fucking amazed. - There's more? 109 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,040 No, what? 110 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,211 - He was seeing a psychiatrist. - Tony? 111 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,173 Fucking broad from montclair. 112 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:01,882 Anyway... 113 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,301 This... 114 00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,136 Is who leads us now. 115 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,135 ( Philly ) Here you go, kid. 116 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:14,145 There you go, you big mouth fuck! Fuck! 117 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,382 ( Phone ringing ) 118 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,384 It's done. 119 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,602 Maybe she's seeing someone. 120 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,147 You know, the way I see you. 121 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,901 See why she'd never tell me. 122 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,367 I'm afraid we have to stop now. 123 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:19,127 - When will your office be finished? - My new carpet's not in yet. 124 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,630 I'm sorry. I know this is awkward. 125 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,675 My old therapist worked out of his home. 126 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:30,263 That's... not convenient for me. 127 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,815 (Phone ringing) 128 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:41,899 Yes? 129 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,318 It's all over. Safe to go home now. 130 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,820 How'd you get this number? 131 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,281 Where are you calling from? 132 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,117 Are you watching me? 133 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:01,127 You know, webistics would be perfect for your portfolio. 134 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,629 I know you're on a fixed income but... 135 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,175 With webistics you could triple your money in a year. 136 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:19,812 What time is it? 137 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:24,525 So, "e.F." I'm listening. 138 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,819 It's fucking tedious, this shit. 139 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,489 Well, you are the boss. 140 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:33,075 If it's your executive decision to go down the shore... 141 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,869 Fuck it. 142 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,996 Yeah. 143 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,172 Yo, Matthew. 144 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,717 I gotta take a meeting. Keep things in control here. 145 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,011 Word up. Later, chief! 146 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:59,519 I shouldn't be telling you this. Webistics is the next yahoo. 147 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,230 We're only selling it to preferred clients. 148 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:07,026 American forestry? 19 1/2, up 3/8. Very sound company. 149 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:08,318 Uh-huh. 150 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,792 Depends on whether you want to go for growth or value. 151 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,962 We've got hundreds of mutual funds to choose from... 152 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,925 You're supposed to push webistics! 153 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,053 I was just giving them alternatives. Shit! 154 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,264 Webistics is our pick of the week. 155 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:41,018 Why? It's got a 3 million float, the competition's robust and their... 156 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:44,564 Technology's two years behind! Your stock's a dog! 157 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,982 Ahh! 158 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,988 We say sell, you sell! Don't think about it! 159 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,447 Please! Stop! 160 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,700 Hey! Stop that! 161 00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:00,871 I'm still manager. This is unacceptable. Where's moltisanti? 162 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,166 I'm gonna make a call. I know who runs this operation. 163 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,295 Get back in your fucking office. 164 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,174 Anybody else got a problem? 165 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,225 (Door opening) 166 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,063 - Tony. - Hey, counselor, how are you? 167 00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,524 - How are you? - Good. 168 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,320 - You look good. - Thanks, have a seat. 169 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,824 - You want a drink? - No. 170 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,870 Before we commence, a thousand thank-yous for webistics. 171 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,414 I sold off some of my Disney to buy it. 172 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,664 My pleasure. 173 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,877 So, where do we stand this month? 174 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,922 Your uncle's petitioning to get out on a medical, pending trial. 175 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,174 Let him. 176 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:59,263 - He thinks they might let him out. - Maybe as a temptation for you to act. 177 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:03,517 Since you're at the helm, it gets back to putting up bigger blinds. 178 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,604 Limiting your exposure to potential rico boo-boos. 179 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,815 Only way to run a family these days is bunker-style... 180 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,567 You peer out through the slit. 181 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,485 (Phone ringing) 182 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,028 Excuse me. 183 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:15,655 Yeah. 184 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:18,532 You're not gonna believe this. Your sister's here. 185 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,743 - Barbara? - No, Janice. 186 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,578 - You're shitting me. - No. 187 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,872 I wonder what the scam is. 188 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,668 I'm gonna be 5 grand lighter before she rain-dances back to the commune. 189 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,131 Tell her she can stay. 190 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,966 Are you sure? 191 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,051 Yeah. 192 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:42,431 We 7! Get Barbara, Tom and the kids and make a reunion out of it. 193 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,560 - But obviously... - Your mother isn't welcome. 194 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,145 Give Janice my love. 195 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,731 See you later. 196 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,280 - My sister's here from Seattle. - Nice. 197 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,161 Where is he? 198 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:09,291 Let me pinch those bulldog cheeks. Come over here! 199 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,377 - Puerto Rico? - Yeah. 200 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,756 That water down there. You think you'd have shit some weight off. 201 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,301 You say we were gonna crab the river looking for him? 202 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,388 - What's the matter with you? - Tony explained it. 203 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,642 - Listen to this. - You heard about Jimmy altieri? 204 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,477 Flipped, fucking asshole. 205 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:32,606 - Had two when they buried him. - So, all my money on the street... 206 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:36,610 All those payments, I guess just evaporated? 207 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,447 We made your pickups for you. 208 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,450 Thanks, Paulie. I mean that. 209 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:43,993 No shit. 210 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:49,290 - They all paid up to the letter? - Few things got lost in the confusion. 211 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,000 You can picture. 212 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,794 Did what we could with the information we had. 213 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,630 Boss of the family deserves the credit. 214 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,968 ( Speaking Italian ) 215 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,013 - Salute! - Salute! 216 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,391 - Hey, silv. - What? 217 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:08,892 What? 218 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,979 I've been gone a long time. Let me hear it. 219 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:18,027 "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in." 220 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,362 "All right, Kay. 221 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,743 Just this one time, I'll let you ask me about my affairs." 222 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,915 "Is it true, Michael?" 223 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,209 "No-ll 224 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,255 "you fucking schifosa." 225 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:44,178 "Our true enemy has yet... 226 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:45,930 To reveal himself." 227 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,599 (Tony) He's on a roll! 228 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,311 I gotta get the fuck out of here! 229 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,816 Oh, Tony, I hate to ruin the party. 230 00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,110 Got a call from loiaco down at brokerage. 231 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:03,489 "Chip and Dale" sent one of the brokers... 232 00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:07,034 - To the emergency room. - Oh, fuck me! These kids! 233 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,454 My fucking nephew, right? 234 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:15,501 You call him and tell him I want to see him right away. 235 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,180 It all checks out. 236 00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:32,768 Puerto Rico, the clinic. All that shit, from what I can tell. 237 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:49,034 - How was the guest bed, sleep okay? - Great. 238 00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:52,162 Except usually I bring my own pillow. Ergonomic. 239 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,541 Got ripped off at a bus stop in rapid city. 240 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,877 Linoleum's not good enough no more? 241 00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:01,338 Look who decides to join us! My little brother. 242 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,382 - How you doing, jan? - Good. 243 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:06,260 - "Parvati." - I'm her brother, I get a pass. 244 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,597 You look good. You look like a teenager. 245 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,851 - My therapist says I'm regressing. - Your therapist? 246 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,270 - Who pays for that? - State of Washington. 247 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,522 - Total disability. - Oh, yeah... 248 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,524 - The Epstein-barr. - Was. 249 00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:23,652 Carpal tunnel from my last job. Steam milk machine. 250 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,529 No worse pain. 251 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,618 I stayed up waiting. When did you get in? 252 00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,620 Late, you know, morning. 253 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:36,415 What's that smell? 254 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,626 Miso soup with seaweed. 255 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,794 She was telling us about Seattle. 256 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,380 I better not see those grunge pants on you. 257 00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,634 - Dad, how do you stay so hip? - I'll be back in a sec. 258 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:49,929 Don't let your father near my soup. He makes fun... 259 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,890 But he'll eat anything that's not locked away. 260 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,813 Don't see her in years and you start in on her diet? 261 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,691 Believe me, she gives as good as she gets. 262 00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:11,033 Give me a hit off that. 263 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:15,371 Oh, ho! Who's in charge here? 264 00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:23,087 You look sensational, Janice, really. You know, not a line. 265 00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:28,092 - Beautiful kids. You must be proud. - Yeah, how about that, huh? 266 00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:31,011 Even with our genes. 267 00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:36,684 So, you still with that... Adolf? 268 00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,394 Rolf. 269 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,647 No. Rolf went back to Andorra. 270 00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:49,196 - You seem good. Mood-wise. - Yeah, things are very good nowadays. 271 00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:52,700 How are things really with ma? 272 00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:55,619 She's dead to me. 273 00:24:57,705 --> 00:24:59,415 I don't want to get in your way. 274 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:01,709 You stayed and took the brunt. 275 00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:04,378 Barb and I, we're never gonna forget. 276 00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:10,509 You forgot it okay for about 20 years. At least Barb pitched in. 277 00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:15,639 I've made my share of mistakes. But ma can't stay in the hospital forever. 278 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:20,477 I'll tell you about her stroke. It's called a conversion reaction. 279 00:25:20,728 --> 00:25:24,398 It's a big opera brought on by repressed rage. It's bullshit. 280 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,275 No infarc-whatever-the-fuck. 281 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:29,194 But the symptoms were the same as a stroke... 282 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:32,072 So she can't take care of herself. 283 00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:34,658 She's on the I am in that hospital. From me. 284 00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:37,828 Who did what to who, it's not my business. 285 00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:42,207 Mom is bewildered. I mention you and her eyes fill up with tears. 286 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,543 Oh, boy! 287 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:48,422 I'm not asking you to step in, Tony. 288 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:51,425 It's my turn now. That's why I came. 289 00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,803 She's a strega. She's the devil. 290 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:59,183 She was. Now she's just a confused, frightened old woman. 291 00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:05,105 So, look, all I need is a couple hundred bucks... 292 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:08,609 To fix her car so I can get back and forth to the hospital. 293 00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:12,738 Then I'll take her to Seattle. I'll stay in her house meanwhile. 294 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,740 Oh, I doubt that. 295 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,826 - I just put her house on the market. - Oh. 296 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,204 Lookuu 297 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,003 I'm glad you're here. Okay? 298 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,715 You want to play Florence nightingale, that's your choice. 299 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:37,721 Only this is the last time we mention her in this house. 300 00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:40,099 Okay. 301 00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:56,240 Hey, t! 302 00:27:00,911 --> 00:27:04,957 Seven and seven, over here. Whoa, what's the matter now? 303 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:08,961 Loiaco called. Your two friends beat the shit out of a broker. 304 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,922 - Two others quit. - He was pushing some other stock! 305 00:27:12,172 --> 00:27:14,716 It attracts negative attention. 306 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,262 Then the fucks rip off a Porsche from our own building. 307 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:21,849 - I'll call them. - No, you'll go down there. Now. 308 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,394 What did you get your license for, your résumé? 309 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,525 I told you, spend more time down at the brokerage. 310 00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:35,654 You're the sec compliance officer, for Christ sake! 311 00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:38,991 You gotta exercise impulse control. 312 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:43,162 Okay, ton. I'm sorry. 313 00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:44,245 Okay. 314 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,498 All right. 315 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:55,883 - I can't show it in this condition. - What is this? 316 00:27:56,133 --> 00:28:00,179 There's a high school up the street. A sink was left on upstairs. 317 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,181 You don't even want to see the toilets. 318 00:28:02,264 --> 00:28:02,848 (Phone ringing) 319 00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:03,890 Excuse me. 320 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:10,564 Wait'll I catch these kids. 321 00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,858 Break a few windows, think they're Johnny badass. 322 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,026 The fuckin' jackals. 323 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,819 Will you stop, please? 324 00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,739 Your sister Barbara and the kids are coming down. 325 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:20,908 You better not be in this mood. 326 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,579 - And I need you to pick up sausage. - Yeah, how many pounds, hot or sweet? 327 00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:29,499 Don't you act like it's a chore. This party was your idea. 328 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:32,586 You said you were happy Janice was home. 329 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,547 And my parents are coming and... 330 00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:37,799 Oh, really? 331 00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:41,762 Now that the dragon lady's gone, they'll set foot in our house? 332 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:45,307 She said some horrible things to them over the years. 333 00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:51,313 Hey, I'm not defending her. She's dead to me. 334 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:54,524 Mope your way through this, I'll cut your throat. 335 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:58,195 - I've been in a great mood lately. - Right. 336 00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:01,865 You need to start therapy again. You're self-medicating. 337 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:05,535 - We haven't had sex since... - Forget it. No therapy. 338 00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:09,915 You should take a look at what they did to your mother's bedroom. 339 00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:19,758 They're rookies. They're not used to this kind of stress... 340 00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:22,719 - He better not say a word. - It won't happen again. 341 00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:26,807 - You got my word on that. - I appreciate it, Chris, thank you. 342 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,143 Come on in. 343 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:34,106 Hey, Chris, brought you a little capp. 344 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,191 Thanks. 345 00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:37,859 Sit down. 346 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:48,662 Refresh my memory on this play we're making on webistics. 347 00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:52,082 We own 400,000 shares at 60 cents. 348 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,459 Trade on the bulletin board, otc. 349 00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:57,462 If we cold-call enough seniors, pump and dump. 350 00:29:57,713 --> 00:30:01,633 Yeah, yeah. You guys ain't spent much time in the NFL, face it. 351 00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,760 What? Two years with Eddie stags. 352 00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:05,637 Besides waxing his car. 353 00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:08,682 - When he was in county... - When you're bleeding a guy... 354 00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,268 You don't squeeze him dry right away. 355 00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:15,063 Contrarily, you let him do his bidding. Suavely. 356 00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:20,402 So you can bleed next week and the week after. At a minimum. 357 00:30:25,032 --> 00:30:28,785 We don't need a guy getting pissed and running to the sec. 358 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,039 - Is that what you're saying? - Break it down. 359 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:36,710 - Sorry, Chris. - When are we dumping the stock? 360 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,879 You'll know when you need to know. 361 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,630 Excellent. 362 00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:43,967 This is cold, by the way. 363 00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,764 Guys. 364 00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:54,061 Any more porsches disappear, make it two towns over. And I want a taste. 365 00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:55,645 You're the man. 366 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:06,448 She's gonna be so happy to see you. 367 00:31:07,157 --> 00:31:09,743 - Grandma, it's me. - Look who's here. 368 00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:14,831 - Ma, I'm going downstairs. - You spend all day on that elevator. 369 00:31:22,589 --> 00:31:24,633 Grandma, you've got to eat. 370 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,093 Let me die. 371 00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,178 Don't say that. 372 00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:30,013 I saw a light. 373 00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:33,141 And voices calling out to me. 374 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,812 What went on with you and dad? Mom won't tell me. 375 00:31:37,104 --> 00:31:38,772 What? Why, what'd he say? 376 00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:42,692 - Nothing. He won't mention you. - Eh, that one. 377 00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:44,945 He blames me for everything. 378 00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:46,362 I know. Me too. 379 00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:49,950 At night... they hit us. 380 00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:54,037 - Why can't our family just get along? - Some people don't want to. 381 00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:58,375 But you, you listen to him. You do what he says. 382 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:00,168 He's your father. 383 00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:06,967 I won't leave you here like this. They can't stop me from seeing you. 384 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:10,929 Meadow. Meadow. 385 00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:16,351 Take that, in the drawer, in the drawer. Take it. 386 00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:26,486 Oh, my god. This was your grandmother's, wasn't it? 387 00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:29,406 It's so you won't forget me. 388 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,424 (Rock music playing) 389 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,942 (Cd skipping) 390 00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:11,448 Come on, motherfuck! 391 00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:13,116 Motherfuck! 392 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:16,244 (Cd morphing) 393 00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:18,914 Oh, fuck. 394 00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:27,589 (Rock music picks up) 395 00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:40,393 I told my family I got broadsided... 396 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,730 But I passed out behind the wheel. 397 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:52,489 See, my mother and me, we had a falling out. 398 00:33:54,658 --> 00:33:58,662 And since then, things have been good. 399 00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:02,624 - Clean break. - What kind of falling out? 400 00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:05,627 One of those unfortunate situations. 401 00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:09,798 A lot of screaming, profanity. 402 00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:12,884 Anyway, things were good. 403 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:17,931 And then my sister came back. It's good to see her, I guess. 404 00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:20,600 Cues from childhood kick in. Older sister. 405 00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,644 That should be obvious enough. 406 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,272 It's starting to bleed into my business. 407 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,773 What sort of business? 408 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:29,818 Commercial and non-putrescible waste. 409 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:33,780 Mr... 410 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:35,824 "Spears." 411 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,159 I watch the news like everyone else. 412 00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:42,122 I know who you are. And I saw analyze this. 413 00:34:42,372 --> 00:34:46,710 I don't need the ramifications that could arise from treating someone... 414 00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:48,545 Like yourself. 415 00:34:50,547 --> 00:34:51,547 Analyze this? 416 00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:54,301 It's a comedy. 417 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:56,803 I'm not taking new patients. 418 00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:17,907 Oh, my baby sister! 419 00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,786 Oh, you look great! Who is this little guy? 420 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,830 Traffic was terrible... 421 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,207 Keep it down! You'll scare the neighbors! 422 00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:27,083 (Janice screaming ) 423 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:28,376 Oh, fuck! 424 00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:35,717 Oh, my baby! 425 00:35:36,092 --> 00:35:37,677 Cut it out. Knock it off! 426 00:35:43,725 --> 00:35:48,229 - Carm, the fire's almost ready. - Great, parv, I'll be out in a second. 427 00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,568 "Parvati," she's a cheese now? 428 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:56,363 - It's a hindu goddess. - Nice for her. 429 00:35:56,655 --> 00:36:00,116 She still answers to "Janice" if it makes you more comfortable. 430 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,706 You! Go to the market, pick up a couple cans of pears. 431 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:10,960 Canned pears, not fresh. That's the secret to my pound cake. 432 00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:14,172 And get some basil/co while you're there. 433 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:18,760 - The pears, you want the dole? - I'm not even gonna answer this time. 434 00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:23,139 There's a new market, dad, on pike. Lot of changes since you've been here. 435 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,185 With that mommy dearest around? Never again, I swore it. 436 00:36:27,477 --> 00:36:30,897 It's exactly what she wanted. You played right into her hands. 437 00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,900 Remember what she said to you at your wedding? 438 00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:38,279 She said it was a mistake. Tony would get bored with you. 439 00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:44,536 Cannonball! 440 00:36:44,828 --> 00:36:46,079 Hey, take it easy. 441 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,330 (Chattering ) 442 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:51,960 Tom, let me ask you something. You ever go down to cape... 443 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:56,840 I love seeing them like that over a fire. 444 00:36:57,465 --> 00:36:59,551 They're better over a spit. 445 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,930 Who does Anthony look like right now? 446 00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:06,015 Dad. 447 00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:11,521 We stopped in to see ma. How do you think she is? 448 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:14,315 Ma? A little weak, but she's all there. 449 00:37:14,649 --> 00:37:18,153 Some family reunion, our mother is barred from the premises. 450 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:21,781 You shouldn't get too close. Look what she tried to do to Tony. 451 00:37:22,699 --> 00:37:25,201 I have no fantasies about my mother. 452 00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:29,372 You know he's selling the house? Ma's house. 453 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:37,046 That's what I'm talking about. Don't get involved, let Tony handle it. 454 00:37:39,382 --> 00:37:43,720 I called you 'cause I thought you'd want to know if your mother was ill. 455 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:48,641 180 grand he's asking for that place. Like he needs that. 456 00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,686 I'm glad someone's taking charge. 457 00:37:52,187 --> 00:37:53,480 You'll get your cut. 458 00:37:54,063 --> 00:37:56,900 Ma's not dead yet and there's no will. 459 00:37:58,359 --> 00:38:02,238 What? I mean, ma still has rights. 460 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:06,951 Tony pays for her retirement home, for the upkeep on her car... 461 00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:12,248 Take it easy. According to you, that could've been Robert mitchum. 462 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:16,503 Jesus Christ. Fucking Paulie gualtieri. Isn't he dead yet? 463 00:38:19,839 --> 00:38:24,010 You're not gonna stay for dessert? It's grappa cake my mother made. 464 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:26,513 My friends are having a gallery opening... 465 00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:29,557 And I'm trying to get them to finance my video. 466 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,726 I'll leave some cake out for you. 467 00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:33,978 Hey, I'm sorry. 468 00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:37,607 - Hey. - What's up? 469 00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,311 What the fuck? 470 00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:21,234 - I am sure there's an explanation. - Oh, there is. There is. 471 00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:26,030 Take ma back to Seattle. She came for the house and a $400 car. 472 00:39:26,322 --> 00:39:29,117 That was the con. That's the level she works at. 473 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:33,413 - Maybe the sign was broken or fell. - I'm still a little fat kid to her. 474 00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:36,791 She think she's gonna stop the sale, picking up a sign? 475 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,919 She were here, I'd bounce her head against the wall! 476 00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:44,632 Look at yourself, Tony! 477 00:39:44,883 --> 00:39:47,427 What do you care about that house? 478 00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:51,514 It's not gonna stop with the house. The $300 pillow... 479 00:39:51,764 --> 00:39:56,269 - Then the video equipment. - When are you getting back to therapy? 480 00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:58,771 Hey, don't start with that. Okay? 481 00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:02,650 I'm not insane and I'm not overreacting. You don't know... 482 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:05,278 - This little pucchiac... - All right! 483 00:40:05,486 --> 00:40:07,822 This is getting you no place. Go outside... 484 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:13,202 Join the party, be with friends, have some pleasure. Go ahead. 485 00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:17,874 - Fucking bitch! - Tony! Go ahead. Go have a beer. 486 00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:32,138 - What the fuck you doing? - Second seating coming up. 487 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,307 Fucking moron. 488 00:40:36,726 --> 00:40:38,311 Look at my wife over there. 489 00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:41,856 No, wait, ton. The neighbor's dog is on your property. 490 00:40:48,154 --> 00:40:49,530 You're a fucking moron. 491 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,533 Anyway, we flew first class. 492 00:40:52,742 --> 00:40:53,742 What service? 493 00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,912 You get frequent flyer upgrades? 494 00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:01,668 Only time you took a trip was with the rockette who put LSD in your drink. 495 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,504 - Where'd you get the tickets? Cuban? - Yeah. 496 00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:08,299 There must be a way to divert frequent flyer miles on a grand scale. 497 00:41:08,508 --> 00:41:11,302 You gotta break into the main computer. 498 00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:13,721 - What is that, "cracking"? - Hacking. 499 00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:17,100 Shelley hack! Remember her? 500 00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:20,853 - Yeah, those were the days. - Good actress. 501 00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:25,525 Let me tell you something, you can't get good sausage and peppers no more. 502 00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:30,029 I used to go down to mulberry St. when I was a kid. Sausage and peppers. 503 00:41:30,238 --> 00:41:34,033 Now you go down there and there's these guys with towels... 504 00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:50,675 (Paulie singing) 505 00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:05,481 - You didn't like it? - Fuck off. 506 00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,777 So when do we get to roll with Tony? 507 00:42:10,570 --> 00:42:12,155 - What? - Are you tripping? 508 00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:14,323 We gotta work our way up. 509 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,994 Must be deep, hanging out with him. 510 00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:19,912 - Who? - Mr. T. 511 00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:22,582 You cap motherfuckers together? 512 00:42:23,124 --> 00:42:25,418 Nah, too big. He doesn't get dirty. 513 00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:31,090 We don't mind, we'll do anything. Wet work, pick up his shirts. 514 00:42:33,176 --> 00:42:35,636 Does Tony ever... talk about us? 515 00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:38,597 No. 516 00:42:42,477 --> 00:42:44,854 - You gonna drink or just sit there? - Sit. 517 00:42:45,188 --> 00:42:48,858 - What the fuck's the matter with you? - You leave my gas burner on. 518 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:52,278 - I almost lit a cigarette and died! - I apologized! 519 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:56,157 Why you can't use a lighter to cook your shit is beyond me. 520 00:42:56,616 --> 00:42:59,702 - When things were finally going good... - Shut up! 521 00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:03,372 Why? They'll still kiss ass. They don't care if you're a junkie. 522 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,376 Sit down! 523 00:43:07,668 --> 00:43:10,755 - I hate you, fucking pig. Get off me! - Fucking whore! 524 00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:13,633 - Fuck you. - Go home! Get my dinner ready! 525 00:43:32,735 --> 00:43:35,988 Don't yell. Don't scream. 526 00:43:36,906 --> 00:43:39,951 All cutlery stays right where it is. 527 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:46,207 How's the bagels here? 528 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:51,254 You don't answer my calls, I got no choice. 529 00:43:51,504 --> 00:43:55,007 Walking away is a choice. Ruining my practice, it's a choice. 530 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:57,385 You got your office back. No harm done. 531 00:43:57,593 --> 00:44:02,431 One of my patients committed suicide because I wasn't available to her. 532 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,350 Know what that means to me? 533 00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:07,687 She can't eat bagels. 534 00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:12,108 She can't call in sick because she's feeling blue. 535 00:44:12,441 --> 00:44:15,403 She's gone. She's in the ground because of you. 536 00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:23,578 I don't deserve your help. 537 00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:26,622 - And I hate your system. - Fuck you! 538 00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:33,546 But I got a family. 539 00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,216 Believe it or not, they're better off with me than without. 540 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,802 And I don't know what else to do. 541 00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:43,431 - I drove off the road. - You look fine. 542 00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,016 The airbag. 543 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,897 - You told me if I was driving and... - That... 544 00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:53,107 Was a different time for us. 545 00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,326 I don't blame you. 546 00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:07,747 - Maybe you can recommend somebody. - I would never... 547 00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:11,209 Ask another colleague to get involved in this. 548 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:14,629 How many more have to die for your personal growth? 549 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,130 Look at me. 550 00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:19,967 I swear to Jesus Christ, nobody got killed 'cause of you. 551 00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:26,641 Get out of my life! 552 00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:09,267 Hey. 553 00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:11,978 What are you doing home? 554 00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:14,689 Nothing. 555 00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:19,902 I thought it was aj, home from school. 556 00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:21,362 Yeah. 557 00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:39,088 - You all right? - Yeah. 558 00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:50,141 Want a little cold pasta? I could microwave it. 559 00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:35,644 Looks good. 560 00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:38,939 - Want cheese, something to drink? - Nah. 561 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,532 Sit down. 562 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:20,815 (Pop song playing)